Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

I'm ok today. I'm still kinda nauseated. But overall I'm fine. My anxiety is fine. I got these acai smootie bowls from walmart yesterday and they are really good. I also got some little cups of corn and cups of green beans, and some turkey sausage and turkey bacon. I got apple slices too.

I have therapy today and then I see my pcp tommorow. I think things will be fairly calm after that for a bit.

SCHOOL
Oh I did cry for hours last night. Then I made a new meal plan that we'll actually use. I still have to figure out after the 8th but we have a plan for a little but I have to get 9 teeth pulled by Friday so that's going to through everything for a loop. I can't stand all this stress and I'm adding more.

@VasaliaTheWise Welcome

a tornado hit about 10 miles away from me. we had to shelter for a long time last night. im exhausted!

Going without coffee was making me feel physically flu like sick. I ordered a venti blonde iced latte and I feel a lot better both mental health wise and physically

My therapist was randomly eating a bowl of cottage cheese during our session. Lol.

i take my aswb exam on june 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Good luck

Last day of school today then I’m on a 2 week break. I’m expecting today to be difficult …

Welcome @VasaliaTheWise!

Still stable, which is pretty boring to report on, but I'm happy enough for the time being, not feeling flat either, so that's good. Slept well again last night once H called that he had made it to his conference after an all day drive and into the night. He won't be home until sometime on Sunday. It's weird to have him gone; I don't think he's had to travel for work in years.

I had a busy morning. I took a long power walk, and ugh, hot and humid, and I was definitely ready to shower! Had breakfast, read awhile with the SAD lamp, had to prod my daughter up for school. I drew a bit, only 2 pics (in creative corner), had to go to the pharmacy again to get prescriptions. Figured since I was out and about I'd get lunch at Starbucks, so I got a tomato and mozzarella panini and a mocha frappucino for my daughter to help her wake up. I have banana bread baking in the oven right now. No big plans for the day, reading, maybe watch something on TV. Between reading and drawing, I'm not watching much TV or playing on my iPad that much at all.

Getting new teeth in an hour. I may be missing for a few days I don't know how "bad" of a shape I'll be in. I'll be reading though. Have a good weekend.

Well I'm back, no pain it wasn't noisy which I was worried about. Ibprophine every 4 hours even if not in pain until tomorrow night. I can have regular dinner tomorrow. She stitched it up and everything. I see her Monday afternoon.

This med situation is tough. Being put on like 5 or 6 at the same time. I felt sick all day. I was just dozing off in bed. Finally I called my GI and asked to go back on my amitripitlyne. And she was like "yeah if it was helping." So I took it and felt better almost right away. Tommorow my primary will deal with my cholestrol med thats been giving me issues. I called him yesterday about it.

But my severe stomach pain is gone at least.

now the flooding is coming. were supposed to get a total of 8-12 inches of rain. crazy weather!

trying to get ready for this rain next few days

Welcome @VasaliaTheWise

Today was a short day. I got a late start waking up so late after a nightmare filled night. I didn’t go out today but did do my drawings. An owl and a key. The owl turned out ok but the key,…I really needed to sharpen my pencil first, it’s too soft to look like metal.

Still stable. Just puttering along. Content for the most part.

Only one more day of state testing to go-thank God! Tomorrow is a tough day though-it's the longest day of testing of the week and there isn't as long of a break between the last test and when they have their first class. The days to this week have felt long, but I still feel like this week has gone fast.

Trying those bodyweight exercises yesterday didn't make my POTs symptoms to bad today-they were just a little worse which is to be expected.

My brain has been trying to shame me somewhat this evening. Memories of things I regret, going all the way back to my childhood, and different insecurities keep popping into my head.

Today was a low-key day. I spent most of it relaxing and pathetically waiting for an email. This is why I have to go out every day! LOL.

Watching "Last of Us" and it's going pretty well. I really like that Pascal guy, he's really cute. This is the first time I've watched a series in a long time, it's pretty cool. New season comes out in two weeks.

It was definitely a relaxing day, but I have to start working more - I really want to go to Galaxy Con this year. Lt. Cmdr. Data from Next Generation will be there. I want to meet him!

Overall, I feel pretty good, but still brokenhearted. Still learning how to live my life on my own - I know for sure that I'm definitely NOT ready to date.

Hope everyone had a great day! It was 87 degrees today, so I broke down and turned on my air conditioning. I couldn't help it.

Oh man. My anxiety has been BAD. I'm starting to think that maybe it's because of my loxapine decrease, though I don't know how the two could be related, or maybe it's because I've only been taking half my seroquel dose the past couple of weeks. Who knows.

I went WAY out of my comfort zone today and posted a reel on Facebook promoting my two novels that just came out. Ugh. After "sharing" I was so embarrassed 😳 I hid under the covers of my bed for a while. Lol. I never wanted to post an actual video of myself talking, like ever, but I guess sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone!

I'm excited for this weekend because my husband and I are going on our yearly romantic getaway. ❤️ Seeing a concert in Madison. Should be fun!

I've been so distracted as of late. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I'm caught up on posts.

Have my therapy appointment tomorrow. I'm thinking about just calling my psychiatrist and asking if I can go back on my normal dose of loxapine because I am really weird feeling and REALLY hypersexual.

I mean, not that being hypersexual is bad per say, it's just REALLY uncomfortable feeling when your partner isn't. 😕 Sigh.

But don't worry. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Seeing pnurse this morning. I hope she keeps everything the same and doesn’t throw me IP!!

I'm not tired today. I want to take a shower because I had this nightmare and I woke up and my shirt was all sweaty. Thats the second bad nightmare I've had this week.

I see my doctor this afternoon. Hopefully he has some answers about some stuff.

I ordered some groceries last night. I just stocked up on a few things.

I'm really sick - flu or something.

I'm feeling a tiny bit better compared to how I was last week, so I took advantage of the opportunity and showered and washed my hair.

It wasn't a great experience, but at least it's done.

I'm gonna hop in this thread. Forgive me for being behind and all that.


I lugged over my violin equipment last night (I say that like it's a lot haha) but nah. Gonna make a sign to put on my door letting my neighbors know they can knock on my door to let me know if I'm bothering them too much, but I got a metal practice mute and it silences it way more than I expected it to I kinda almost wish I went with a rubber one.

So doing that today, and laundry, meal planning for the weekend, and signing up to be a dog walker

Damn eating is not fun right now I'm sticking to things I don't have to chew and drinks. I don't start school until the June 19th. I was right my therapist isn't impressed. She is impressed that I didn't land in the hospital on Tuesday. Thank-you again for everyone that was there reading my rants. we're going to build my support network what ever that means. It's at most 30 hours a week.

My GI called me twice. Both times we talked for like 10 minutes. She wants me to try nexium and she wants to check out this messed up intestine thing some more. She was all like " we have got to get espoagusitis under control. She wants me off Prestiq. I have been told by other people including my therapist it could be a big part of my issue. Prestiq is a ***** to get off of though.

Anyways I'm just hanging out until my pcp appointment

I'm doing pretty well today. I did a pilates workout, showered, read with the SAD lamp, drew 4 pictures. Pretty good day drawing even if my drawings didn't come out that well. Some days it's just more fun than others.

The bad thing though is my daughter is sick. Yesterday, I thought she just wasn't feeling well because she was on the 1st day of her cycle, but then she had a sore throat and now she is running fever. I just hope it is not COVID. I have a home test I'm going to give her when she wakes up; poor thing didn't get much sleep last night. If it's not COVID, I may just run her over to urgent care so they can test for flu and strep as well. Depends how she is feeling.

I’m really down today and my thoughts are dark. I was supposed to be having my gastric study today and I just didn’t go. My stomach is giving me mucho problems. My gastroenterologist told me it might be an obstruction or paralyzed stomach. It could be life or death and if it’s a down day for me I won’t lift a finger about it. That makes the situation so much worse. I did reschedule for Tuesday at 9:30. I need to get off my own back and give myself some grace. I did not follow up with my doctor after the wreck either and I’m having some ongoing problems there. I’ve mainly been helping mom recover. She is still on pain killers and she has deteriorated. That also depresses me.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day. I appreciate you all. It helps me get out of my head and focus on other things - good and bad.