Bipolar Check-in #89

I just got home from my shift. It was fun. Now I’m just relaxing.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day. I have therapy in the morning. Then a Mother’s Day event in the building in the afternoon (they’re having wings and pizza for everyone not just mothers) and then I am going to the movie theater to finally see thunderbolts at 7:30pm tomorrow as well.

So yeah then Saturday I have a violin lesson. And Sunday I might be painting with my friend over video chat.

So sweet!

@Blue_Bird so cute! I love orange kitties. The other one looks just like a cat we had when I was a kid. He was a handful!

I was born and raised in Chicago so a Chicago Pope is kinda cool even if he is a White Sox fan and not a Cubs fan. but he grew up on the south side which is Sox land so it makes sense.

I can't believe I move tomorrow. I'm getting nervous about where I'm going to put everything. And, about getting settled (change always makes me nervous). I don't have a ton of stuff, but the studio doesn't have a ton of cabinet space or a huge closet so I'm going to have to be creative.

Working at a Catholic school, we made a big deal about there being a new pope. My coworkers and I gathered our classes in one room and live streamed it so the kids could see Pope Leo XIV being introduced and hear what he had to say. They missed most of a class period for this, but it was well worth it.

My mental health was pretty good today. Minimal SI. Mainly just the anxiety that I'm dealing with. Hopefully, I'm able to sleep despite being anxious.

@June08 I live in a pretty small place and have found that putting over the door shelves or hooks on every single door provides a lot of space. Just an FYI.

Choir tonight went very well. My singing voice is super! Had fun. Feeling lots better. Just have to keep taking the antibiotics and prednisone. Trying not to read the side effect sheets that came with them! Those things just scare you to death!

I was supposed to go to physical therapy tomorrow for my knee but I cancelled as it's better all by itself! It's been 2 months since I injured it and it feels fine now.

N3 and I went to that coffee shop before choir and on the walk back I noticed I was pretty short of breath. Didn't expect that. N3 always walks so fast too!

Singing went very well. My voice just keeps getting better with practice.

I'm supervising Year 9s who didn't go on camp. They're watching The Barbie Movie. Pretty sure they're over it being Day 3 and everyone else being on camp. Mind you the camp was quite expensive. $450 to go to the city from Wednesday - Friday. I'm not even remotely watching the movie I'm doing "work" on my laptop.

We have a new pope! I missed the white smoke today, but my friend says there was a seagull hanging around the whole time. He must have liked the attention from the cameras. I am excited for an American Pope, I think it's really exciting that the Easter I was baptized there would be American Pope. I thought the fact that he spoke in Italian and Spanish, sent a clear message of what kind of Pope he will be.

@Blue_Bird those kitties are so cute! What movies have you seen this week? I keep saying I am going to see Thunderbolts and I never seem to get there, lol. Always something getting in the way. @June08 - good luck with your move, I know you can make the small space work. Like @BeyondtheRainbow said lots of hooks and hooks on doors to keep everything orgainized.

This week was very tough. Lots of emotions. My period is almost over, but boy did it punch the crap out of me. I have never cried, and had so many tantrums in a short space of time in a while. That's not bipolar, that's a whole other animal. This weekend shoudl be fun, it's Mother's Day and also my mom's birthday. Picked up a happy birthday ice cream cake at the grocery store today for her, it was the last one they had! I got her lots of presents and cards for both days. Also tomorrow, I am going to my sponsor's house to spend the night - we are going to a meeting and she will be presenting me with my 4-year sober chip. So excited. Plus I get out of here for a night and get to travel into the city.

Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow and a fabulous weekend!

I fell asleep around 9:30 and I woke up around 11 to eat some watermelon. My back was freaking out and I was stumbling around like I had too many. Then I woke up at 1 with a painful cough. It wa like burning. I go it under control but my walking was still weird. My doctor wantedman xray of my back

I woke up 45n miutes ago and I'm just tired. My uncles girlfriend has a 15 year old son who she has custody of. The mom has issues. I'd hate to see him go to foster care but I'm not sure my uncle can get custody. My uncles girlfriend has a couple other kids but I don't know if they would step in.

Edit: I meant 15 year old grandson

So far I’ve just seen Sinners a couple days ago which I really liked. Tonight I’m going to see Thunderbolts though. I kept planning on seeing other movies earlier this week but was too tired or anxious to go again. But I think tonight will be a good time to go see a movie I’ll let you know how thunderbolts is tonight. I’ll probably be home around 10pm and I’ll tag you in a post so you know how it was

Sorry you’re struggling on your period I get really bad PMS. Sometimes are worse than others. This time it hasn’t been so bad. But I’d say most months I get really severe PMS. Often wonder if I have PMDD. Cause the irritability and anger, mood swings are very very bad the week leading up to my period almost every month

Happy birthday to your mom! Also congrats on 4 years of sobriety that’s amazing!

Good luck on your move! I hope it goes well and you enjoy your new place. I agree with BeyondtheRainbow over the door hanging shelves are a great idea

That’s so awesome that you live streamed the pope being introduced for the kids. I’m sure that was very exciting.

Glad your mental health is well , hope the anxiety improves. It might get better once you’re done with your move. Moving is really stressful

Good morning!

I slept okay. Not nearly enough but I have a lot I have to do today and needed to be up early. I have therapy, an event in my apartment buildings community room then going to the movie theater tonight.

I’m listening to the soundtrack to High School Musical. I loved that movie when I was a kid. I remember when it came out. I was in middle school. Brings back a lot of memories. Maybe I’ll rewatch it sometime. The music is good. Especially Breaking Free.

I’m glad it’s Friday. Today should be a good day.

I have my violin lesson tomorrow. Then Sunday I’m painting /chatting with my friend over video chat. I’m not sure what I’m gonna paint yet I’ll have to decide between now and then.

I’m really excited to have pizza and wings at the buildings community event today. That’ll be good.

Need to charge my laser pointer toy for the cats.

Anyway, I feel really good. Just very happy.

Good Morning,
I'm awfully tired this morning. Been up since 4:30AM. Had Breakfast, been to the store -- got work at noon. My friend is spending the weekend with me again. I'm not complaining-- it's nice to have company, but man... it's a new thing for me to feel so "busy".

I switched today’s therapy appointment from in person to over video. It’s pouring rain. Has been everyday for like a week now. There’s a flood watch. I just don’t feel like walking all the way there and back in it. Also changed my plans to go see the movie tonight. I’ll wait till this weather clears up hopefully next week and go see something then.

My therapy appointment starts in an hour from now.

My test results came back and they were all abnormal but the inflammation did go down a bit. My doctor says I have an iron defiency so he sent in a prescription for an iron pill. I wonder if thats why I've been sleeping all the time and haven't had much energy. Plus I'm so cold all the time. He said he'll look at my results some more to see what else is up.

My cardiogram thing is in about 1.5 hours.

Overall my moods and anxiety are better then they were earlier this week.

I bought 14 PB&J Lunchables today. It was all the store had. I know that was a bit rude but there are few things I'll eat these days and I'm sure they will restock them soon.

N3 is going to make a video of a Bach fugue on his harpsichord and send it to me! I heard it through the phone which sounds pretty bad but it will sound good through a video.

They gave a thing of roses to every woman in the building. They’re stunning and smell so good. The pizza and wings and garlic knots were really good too!

Therapy went well. I’ll write more in a little bit

@Blue_Bird Those kitties are SO cute! I definitely understand not wanting to walk anywhere in the pouring rain.

@June08 Good luck with your move. I know moving is alwasy so stressful. Be gentle with yourself and take breaks when you need them.

@crazyHitch - I hope your headaches are doing better. Is it from the Wegovy increase?

@Brentus - I understand; it's good to socialize but stressful too. Congratulations on taking that step.

@Lady Shadow - I hope your emotions even out with the end of your period. And congrats on receiving your 4 year chip. That is a HUGE accomplishment!

As for me, I did my power walk, showered, ate, read, drew, the usual. Stability is really pretty boring to report on even if I' feeling pretty content and happy mood wise.

My daughter is taking another AP test today, but H took her. I have to take her to 2 more AP tests next week. She is enrolled in 4 AP courses this year.

I struggled drawing pics of dogs (all in the creative corner forum). I would have drawn a bit more but H will be home with my daughter soon, and she has a meetup with her school, and needs to leave soon, so it means an early lunch. Thankfully, H is taking her to the meetup. I'm not good at those things, and I hate driving so much.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!

Blue bird - those roses are beautiful! How sweet of them

Dewed - sounds like things are coming together! I wore a holter monitor decades ago - really not that bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird They gave a thing of roses to every woman in the building. They’re stunning and smell so good. The pizza and wings and garlic knots were really good too! Therapy went well. I’ll write more in a little bit

Those are beautiful roses! I'm starting to wish I lived in your building!

So therapy today was focused on the overspending. We went over the triggers and the history of it and stuff about my past. Like growing up with my mom was rough cause we were homeless on and off for most of my life and we never had any money. So part of why I might overspend now could be related to the lack of money growing up. Now that I have access to my own money and have a stable environment I end up overspending when anxious or stressed etc because I’m one trying to relieve the anxiety or stress with the dopamine rush or two I’m trying to make up for the lack of money/purchasing ability when growing up. Money scarcity. And I never had a good example of how to budget growing up because my mom sure as hell did not know how to budget the little money she had was spent on beer or cigarettes.

Waiting for the pharmacy to contact me to say my albuterol asthma inhaler is ready. I had to place a stat order for a new prescription because I’m still having symptoms and I only have two puffs left! The pharmacist said he’ll call when it’s ready to be picked up! They close in 3 hours and aren’t open on the weekends.

Possible trigger:

I really wish I was dead. I am just fooling myself thinking I can do this.