Bipolar Check-in #89

Oh lady. Can you call your pdoc and get an emergency appointment?

@LadyShadow Nammu has a good idea. It sounds like you need help before it gets any worse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Oh lady. Can you call your pdoc and get an emergency appointment?

I second this! If you can't contact your pdoc, going to the psych ER, sucky as it is, may be what you need to do or perhaps stay with someone like your parents until you can get in touch with your pdoc since it is Friday afternoon? You need to do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe.

School


So I've been dealing with that all day. I have to finish my book I'm reading. Will work on that tonight. I only have about 4 hours left. My husband is running a game tonight

Picked up my inhalers- they gave me two!
Going out to coffee with N1 and N2 for Mother’s Day Sunday. N3 has to sing at church- only the men are singing this week. But he and I will get together later in the day.

I am prone to headaches on Wegovy and I think the increase in Wegovy yesterday has made this headache even worse this morning.

Thinking of you @LadyShadow and hoping these intrusive thoughts pass for you

He never made it. Said people were cutting down trees and being too loud to make a recording. Maybe tomorrow he will.

I finally got my physical desktop relaid atop my file cabinets, after everything went topsy turvey in late february for the new air conditioner installation. The maintenance men did NOT "put everything back in its original position" as so flagrantly promised. Is that the right word? And i finally got the blinds closed in the far third of the apartment, before summer comes and bakes me like a bug.

Im pretty proud of myself for doing all this work on a pee day. I do something hard, sweat and wreck my back, lie down and watch youtube videos, then repeat!

Also new diet tip - instead of reacting to stomach pangs with a snack, i do some activity. Even if its just refilling my stevia packet box.

Maybe I should start doing that. Doing an activity instead of snacking excessively. I have a bad habit of constantly wandering out into my kitchen due to boredom and searching for stuff even when I’m not hungry and looking for stuff then as a result end up overeating throughout the day. I lost a lot of weight when I was working retail last year cause I was too busy to be snacking or eating extra meals/bingeing. And also the sheer physical activity of it helped. Sometimes I end up setting a timer on my watch for like 20-30 min at a time then when the timer goes off repeat as necessary. Kinda crazy that I have to do that but sometimes it’s necessary. I think it’s just the sheer boredom of living alone and having no one to talk to inside my apartment. If I had company maybe I wouldn’t be so bored to continually be looking for food

Anyway maybe I can redirect the wandering out into the kitchen to look for food into getting up and doing some sort of household activity.

The echocardiogram went fine. It took about 25 minutes. She circled some spots on her computer which freaked me out a bit. She also went over my neck with the ultrasound thing. I have 3 thyroid nodules I got checked out a few years ago and they were benign. So I'm hoping my doctors leave me alone if they showed up again. Thyroid biopsies are crazy painful.

I've been in a mood today. My uncles girlfriend had a mini stroke it turned out. She is out of the icu but is still struggling. So with my stuff and her I'm just a bit overwhelmed.

Now I'm just a bit pissed because I'm nauseated and I'm very cold and my blanket isnt helping. My mom bought heated seats in the new car beause I get extremely cold. I hope the iron pills help.

I was just calling myself a weenie for not having any energy and sleeping all day.

Oh man, it looks like I might have had a silent heart attack.

I had a couple of ECGs over the past couple of months and it started out as borderline and now has switched to a likely past event.

This is on top of everything else now. I'm surprised but I guess it's inevitable given that I've been living with so much stress from anxiety, depression, bad family situation, med changes, and now psilocybin.

I'm feeling really, really sad about this.

So I was sleeping soundly on my right side. My cat was curled up against my back. For some reason, I think part of a dream, I reached back and touched the cat. This scared the cat and she scratched the crap out of my hand.


I got it cleaned up and bandaged and now am waiting for it to stop stinging so I can go to sleep.


I always say that bad things happen in the 3:00-4:00 AM hour.....

Been up for hours!

Sorry Moose. Steroids suck.

It's my sister's birthday today. She'll always be 50 and I still think about our last hug and last phone call.

I'm honored to have been part of her life.

Good morning, I slept well. 8 1/2 hours. Broken into two segments. I woke up in the middle of the night and was up for awhile but then was able to get back to sleep a little later. I probably would have slept even more if Mustachio would stop licking my nose/face/fingers in my sleep constantly. Generally she does that when her food dish is empty to try to wake me up. Or sometimes she just does it because she’s bored and being snuggly. I love her though lol

I have a violin lesson today. That’s really the main plan for today. And do some household chores, laundry, cleaning.

Tomorrow I’m painting with my friend over video chat. I’m probably gonna try to paint from one of the reference photos I took of those roses I got yesterday. Probably gonna do water color.

I feel really good. Very stable , enjoying life.

Hope it feels better soon! I’ve gotten scratched in my sleep before too, not fun

Went grocery shopping this morning. My pen pal sent me photos of him from 45 years ago playing his double manual harpsichord!

My fasting blood sugar has been AMAZING these past 3 mornings with the early suppers. WITHOUT extra meds, just prescribed doses. My cleaning efforts are like HIIT - i get out of breath and use muscles, then i put a fan on me to cool off.

I am actually experiencing a bit of joy in perusing my accomplishments - a widened hallway here, a broad clean surface there. The trick is to hold on to that joy and not let my mother's voice ruin it: "yeah well how long is it going to STAY like that?!" I havent cleaned enough to set off the voice yet, i dont think. It could even be gone, fingers crossed. Butt crossed. Joy, just joy. And maybe some clean laundry and a dish would be nice.

Nothing to do today except clean. Should do my laundry. It’s a gorgeous day out. Still coughing up crud and wheezing. Still have two more days of prednisone and Z-pack antibiotics. Good thing I got more albuterol which is my rescue inhaler.

Laundry washing! Listening to music. Got the cat box swept around and cleaned out and added fresh litter. Did the dishes. Got the balcony door open for the fresh air. Cat is enjoying it.

Found this:

Infectious Period:
The duration of contagiousness varies based on the specific infection, and the length of time for an infection to be no longer contagious after starting antibiotics can range from 48 hours to 14 days.
Azithromycin and Asthma:
Azithromycin is sometimes used in asthma management, especially for severe asthma cases, to help reduce exacerbations and manage inflammation.
Antibiotic Courses:
The length of an azithromycin course can range from 3 to 10 days, depending on the specific infection.
Not Routine Use:
Antibiotics are generally not routinely used for acute asthma exacerbations unless there is evidence of a bacterial infection, according to guidance from National Institutes of Health (NIH).

——-

Mine is 5 days with the first dose being double plus 5 days of prednisone 40 mg each day.

Also found:

A bacterial infection in a person with asthma can exacerbate their symptoms, including cough, shortness of breath, and wheezing. Additional symptoms of a bacterial infection might include fever, chills, fatigue, and possibly yellow or green phlegm.

Thanks so much everyone for commenting and reaching out. The past 24 hours was very hard, but luckily, I was with my sponsor and friends last night, so those thoughts left me. I can get really dramatic, and the fact that I see a therapist just once a month is really hurting. I have no support. I don't tell my parents any of this because I don't want them to worry. I actually don't tell anyone, and my sponsor urged me to speak up more.

She treated me to a steak dinner last night, and gave me my 4-year chip. I am going to restart working on my steps with her too. If I can't get therapy, I can focus on my 12 steps of recovery, and at least work through some of the things I am dealing with. I am lucky that when it got so bad yesterday, I had plans to go somewhere.

I appreciate you guys so much for your thoughts and kind words. I am so lucky to be able to come here and tell you guys this stuff because no one in my life knows how much pain I am in or how much I really struggle. Good to be home today. Just going to unpack, open all my windows, clean, do laundry, and burn some relaxing incense. It's a really nice day today too.

Oh, I am also going to my first confession later and tell the priest

Possible trigger:

about my suicidal thoughts

maybe he will have some thoughts. My good friend from church was nice enough to walk me through what I am supposed to say and do during confession.

Been a pretty chill day so far. Sent out flyers for some businesses to put in their break rooms just to advertise our lot a little bit. Picked up my medicine and just having a good day with my friend.

I also overspend, usually on fun (non alcoholic) drinks or snacks for a dopamine hit sometimes. For me, my spending tends to be worse when depressed than when manic. No one ever taught me how to budget, My mom is very good with money, but she never taught me anything. I just watched her/heard her complain about living paycheck to paycheck because of all of the spending her husband at the time did.

Also, I get what you're saying in a different post about snacking being connected to living alone. I can be the same way. My new space doesn't have much storage, so I can't have a lot of food at once, so that should help.