[Victoria'smom]

So angry. I'm lying in the dark. Listening to my husbands phone go off.

Possible trigger:

Wanting to sh

. Asked him to turn it off but he turned it down. Hopefully that will help. T asked why I was mad last session and I am again. I don't understand it. I can't even text my physiatrist because he's not on my list of providers. Everything is so frustrating.

[June08]

Sorry so many people struggled with sleep. I hope everyone has a better night with this!

Today my mood was much better than yesterday afternoon-the numbness was gone. And, thankfully, today has gone by fast so that has helped. I did a few things: put gas in my. car, read, laundry, and cooked. Tomorrow, I have an IV fluids appointment but nothing else going on. I have some errands I need to run, but I might wait until after the weekend to attempt to avoid crowds. Waiting also gives me something to do during the week.

[MuddyBoots]

Ugh called the team’s useless af emergency line because I’m a stupid dumbass and told them in the message I didn’t take my meds as prescribed in a way that should’ve helped but did not and now I need help.

Swear I’m gonna be running downtown at 1am SCREAMING at this rate.

She called back and thank God she didn’t ask if I was safe because I cannot say yes or twist in a way that sounds like things are fine.

[unaluna]

Mudddy im a bare Necessities girl too! I bought some aspirational bras from them when i moved here almost 20 years ago, but aspired the other way. I am ALWAYS 1 or 2 bandwidths over a cute bras max. Ozempic, take me back!

[LadyShadow]

Well I got no phone call tonight and didn't have a meltdown. I am REALLY happy with myself right now. Even got off the phone early with my best friend to watch the new Sex and The City series And Just Like That episode on MAX. I also found the original How to Train Your Dragon on MAX too @Nammu you should check it out since you have MAX too before you go see the live action one if you haven't yet. I should be watching more fun things when I get dramatic and emotional.

I laid on my couch in complete silence earlier, and contemplated things. Things are quite IMPOSSIBLE for my ex to even build a life with me here right now. There is just too much uncertainty. Not only with him, but with me. Is love really enough? I know love was never our problem. Then I sat and prayed to God and asked Him what He wants of me. I have everything I could possibly need, and I am surviving quite nicely, and even making friends now and I have the means to go out and do things. Life is really good. I just wish the lonely days didn't crush my soul like it does sometimes. Honestly, most people would kill for the setup I have right now. It really is time to be more grateful.

@Blue_Bird - LOVE LOVE the banana bread! I so wish I could bake things, lol.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Well I got no phone call tonight and didn't have a meltdown. I am REALLY happy with myself right now. Even got off the phone early with my best friend to watch the new Sex and The City series And Just Like That episode on MAX. I also found the original How to Train Your Dragon on MAX too @Nammu you should check it out since you have MAX too before you go see the live action one if you haven't yet. I should be watching more fun things when I get dramatic and emotional.

I laid on my couch in complete silence earlier, and contemplated things. Things are quite IMPOSSIBLE for my ex to even build a life with me here right now. There is just too much uncertainty. Not only with him, but with me. Is love really enough? I know love was never our problem. Then I sat and prayed to God and asked Him what He wants of me. I have everything I could possibly need, and I am surviving quite nicely, and even making friends now and I have the means to go out and do things. Life is really good. I just wish the lonely days didn't crush my soul like it does sometimes. Honestly, most people would kill for the setup I have right now. It really is time to be more grateful.

@Blue_Bird - LOVE LOVE the banana bread! I so wish I could bake things, lol.

Oh it’s not banana bread, just plain bread I’m glad you found the original how to train your dragon movie. It’s really good! Hope to see your review of the new one on Letterboxd

Update : just saw your review and liked it

[Nammu]

I watched two episodes of Good Omens. It’s fun. Now I’m watching Minecraft on Max. More fun.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Oh it’s not banana bread, just plain bread I’m glad you found the original how to train your dragon movie. It’s really good! Hope to see your review of the new one on Letterboxd

Update : just saw your review and liked it

Awesome! I am glad you liked it! As I am watching this, they actually didn't deviate from the story at all with the new live-action one which is pretty cool! I honestly like the live action one better. I had no idea Gerard Butler played the dad and chief in this animated one too and played the same guy in the live action one! How cool!

Originally Posted by Nammu

I watched two episodes of Good Omens. It’s fun. Now I’m watching Minecraft on Max. More fun.

Oh yeah! I saw that Minecraft was on MAX - I thought it was fun, I had seen in the theater and really liked it, I should watch it again. I hope you like it @Nammu - it was silly and entertaining!

Still having a great night!

[Nammu]

Lady shadow, it is silly and entertaining. I’m about halfway through it.

[MuddyBoots]

Surviving… fk this unpaid job i quit

[JaneOnceMore]

I had my best sleep in months!

The flowers i bought myself to comfort myself during my recovery from the accident. No one else would do it for me, so i did it for myself. Sad tho. I'll take pictures of them as they bloom. They are peonies and should be gorgeous!

The accident was very educational. I am alone and no one (IRL) cares. I have no one. My one close neighbor turned out to be emotionally abusive. She tried to gaslight me about the accident when i was injured and in physical pain.

I broke up with her, my best friend of eleven years. I grew as a person with her tho, so it was not a complete waste. Just time for it to be over. She doesn't emotionally abuse others. Just me. I was her plaything, to be manipulated. Figure she abuses me because i am sick. Monstrous!

@LadyShadow:

Glad to hear your life is going very well. Happy that you sparkle like a different girl. I have a lot to be grateful for too. It's just that my health seems to be getting worse as i age. This last episode was so intense it seemed more like identity disturbance than HM. I mean, i was wearing WIGS for goodness sake!

[Moose72]

I’m wide awake at 6 am. And hungry. Gabapentin is going to make me fat!

[Mountaindewed]

I was so tired last night. All I took was one 10mg Walgreen brand melatonin. I slept through most of Jaws. With the sound turned on. I woke up for the last 5 minutes or so. Then I fell back asleep and I woke up around 6. My 10mg Walgreens melatonin felt like some heavy stuff though.
I need to get coffee from Walmart and then my niece is Going to be here from 10-7. My mom isnt very happy but its too hot to have her at the games. My mom said she doesn't know when she gets overheated the way my nephews do. We're hoping this is the last of the terrible 2s before she turns 3 in September.

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning! I slept good. Heading to the pharmacy in a couple hours to pick up one of my meds.

Definitely staying in the rest of the weekend and early next week. It’s gonna be 96 degrees on Monday. Staying inside with my central air conditioning on.

Not sure what I’m gonna do the rest of the day once I get home from the pharmacy. Maybe read. Probably relax mostly.

Tomorrow I’ve got to clean my apartment

Just enjoying coffee and music right now this morning.

[Blue_Bird]

Waiting for the bus to go home from the pharmacy. Got about 25 minutes till it comes. Just trying to pass the time while standing here. There’s no bench at this bus stop. I’m not looking forward to the walk home after I get off the bus. It’s a long walk up a really really steep hill and it’s like 80 degrees out at the moment.

Ready to be home and done with this. I have to go to the pharmacy at least 2 more times this month to pick up meds so I’m considering just getting an uber there and back those times. It’s way too hot to keep doing this and it’s gonna get worse and go up to 96 degrees next week.

I should really switch my pharmacy to Walgreens. I heard they can coordinate when your meds are filled so you don’t have to take multiple trips there. I currently use cvs and have to go there like 4 times for prescriptions that are filled at different times of the month.

[unaluna]

Blue bird, my life has improved like a million percent since i changed to a mail order pharmacy. My walgreens does delivery, maybe yours does? I hope you can get on a coordinated schedule, it makes such a difference! Right now i have like 3 refill schedules, but still thats better than ten!

[Moose72]

Well I need to buy some bottled water before tomorrow so I can stay hydrated during my drive to church and during the service. Still feel like my ears are closed up! The nurse said to eat with the gabapentin which I did last night. My cat is lying next to me talking to me. She’s a very talky kitty! Never had a cat that talked as much as she does!

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Blue bird, my life has improved like a million percent since i changed to a mail order pharmacy. My walgreens does delivery, maybe yours does? I hope you can get on a coordinated schedule, it makes such a difference! Right now i have like 3 refill schedules, but still thats better than ten!

My insurance doesn’t cover mail delivery for pharmacy I wish it did. It did briefly during the COVID pandemic but not anymore, I also talked to cvs today and they said I’m not eligible for scriptsync at the moment. They said it could be because I just picked up a med and maybe it’s because it would mess up my med schedule. But they said there’s a possibility I might get a phone call or a prompt next time I’m checking out at the pharmacy asking if I want med sync and to say yes to it. I really hope they do. There’s gotta be a better way to do this lol I would literally pay money to get them delivered if I had to but that’s not an option I guess? Idk it sucks though

[Nammu]

Oy, I over slept. I had trouble falling asleep so I didn’t get up till just now. I need to get going soon. The hottest part of the day is 3-5pm I want to be back home and inside. I have to go water the daughter’s flowers and feed their turtle. I had wanted to be there at 10am. But I need to wake up first. My meds make me a bit groggy and I need my chai to become alert. There’s a heat advisory for my county and a heat warning where my daughter lives. So I don’t want to be outside during the worse of it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Soooooo hot here omg

Got some fresh veggies and fruit at farmers market this am but now it’s way too hot and humid out.

[Moose72]

Just got back with four big bottles of electrolyte water to last me today-Monday if I have to go out. And I got a gallon of milk. Feeling better after the smoothie and some water.

[Victoria'smom]

Thinking about quitting school. I'm not understanding English well. So I can't follow anything. I don't want to let my scholarship go. I don't know what to do. Im still highly agitated. Can't get my shot. I'm going to deteriorate. I'm having to cancel all my appointments because I don't know when my h works. His availability is 8am-7pm. Monday -friday. I'm pissed her didn't talk to me because now we can't go to any appointments. Everything closes by 7 and there's no weekend places. He doesn't seem to care. He will when I'm flipping out. This is ridiculous. I can't keep a thought in my head either. I guess let's see how bad this turns out. I'm so just lost.

[unaluna]

Blue bird - idk about cvs, but i did used to get pharmacy deliveries from rite aid and walgreens. They were door dash type deliveries, not mail order. You ordered it on the app when you paid for your prescriptions by credit/debit card.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm having a good day despite another night of 5 hr. of sleep. I took a LONG walk/jog, probably too long in the heat & humidity and I'm glad I didn't get sunburned. I'll have to start remembering to use sunscreen. I need to dig around to see if we still have any. Showered, had breakfast, read a bit with the SAD lamp then spent time with H. One of the positives of feeling better is that sex is so much better It wasn't horrible before but I'm more into it now. Sorry for the TMI there.

I started painting a picture of a pistachio, paused it to make & eat lunch (and also do the foot soak the podiatrist has me doing daily). Then, I had another prescription to pick up at the pharmacy, I swear that's 3 days in a row. I went inside (my pharmacy is in a grocery store) because yesterday I bought some sliced cantaloupe, honeydew melon, and watermelon that rang up $3 less than the price on the package, and it was absolutely delicious. Still rang up cheap today and without a coupon or anything. But I was good with the spending; other than my prescription, the melon box was all that I got.

After I got home, I finished painting my pistachio. Not sure how it turned out in the end; I guess if you know it's supposed to be a pistachio, you can tell it is one.

My thoughts are with everyone having a hard time right now. Things really can get better even from the bleakest moments, but I know it is horrible going through tough times like that.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays cool!

[LadyShadow]

I am up and down, up and down. I was supposed to go out today, but I just couldn't make it today. Today has been horrible. I am such a mess. I am really hurting myself, and I am not getting any better. I have some good days, but when I sink low, I am at the absolute bottom.