Bipolar Check-In #92

Raspberry and Jane, HAPPY BIRTHDAY early in case I forget on your birthday.

I slept as late as I could as this day is clear liquid day. It was weird to wake up and not have my latte. I almost sleepwalk into the kitchen to make it. So far it’s just been water.

I had the most satisfying dream, I had a best friend that I went to the movies with and we played games that don’t exist. I woke very happy.

Went outside and sat in the sun for 30 min and did some planning for the next couple weeks in my daily planner.

Getting on the treadmill soon once my phone is charged. Then gonna practice violin. I think my neighbor wants to do a grocery order later tonight so I’m gonna help her with that if she does.

Here’s a pic of Papi being a brat being on top of the fridge lol

That sucks to only be able to have clear liquids. I am lost without my coffee, hope your procedure goes well

Thanks to the people who wished me happy birthday. That was really nice of you. I didn't mean to come across all whiny last night. I was freaking out about other stuff too, and that on top of already being hot, on top of having a hot flash... well, I was a woman on the edge! Lol.

@MetalinMyHead

My husband and I lived in a tiny little studio apartment for six months in our twenties. We co-existed quite well in such a small space (but over the 20/21 years of our marriage we've only had "discussions" a handful of times).

My recommendation is to go into the bathroom if you don't want to cry in front of your boyfriend. Or better yet, tell him what you're going through. He should know anyway. Maybe he could offer some support.

Gary and Crookshanks just sat next to me and it made my anxiety lessen. I have my music going too.

I decided to get out of the house and go to Platos Closet. I found a pair of raw denim jeans for $20. Raw denim is really high quality.

I feel decent now. I took some Tylenol a couple hours ago and my stomach has been ok today.

It says on google with this stomach thing I have that the pain is intermittent. I guess that is why sometimes I can leave my house all day and other days I cant get out of bed

I’m doing a long lengthy suicide assessment training. Kindatriggering

She (he?) is just cosplaying the all-cats re-enactment of 2001: A Space Odyssey, when the monolith appears on esrth.

Caleb just fell asleep while we were talking on the phone!

My mom helped me redo my bills/budget since lots of things have changed since last month. Then we went to a farm stand and I got a huge cantaloupe! I’ll have to cut it up soon and put the pieces in the fridge.

I put two videos up of N3 and his dad singing duets on Sunday at church. They were well-received.

Good morning! I’m hoping today goes okay on the teaching front. I have one class that were a bit iffy yesterday. Hopefully they will be more settled today!

I have to go through past trauma with my therapist, not looking forward to it. I don't know where to start.

Glass one done. My instructions are to drink one cup every 15 minutes until I’ve drank 12 cups. It tastes very high in sodium! I put the lemon flavor in but I can’t taste it. I just hope I can do this with out up chucking it all, oh it’s awful. Last time it was mixed with Gatorade. Much better.

Yeah “go lightly” is nasty stuff. And I did drink it too fast once and threw it all up so the procedure was cancelled. Try drinking it over ice. Somehow that helped last time- I was IP so the nurse suggested drinking it that way.

What are you talking about? Are you harassing blue bird? Good luck googling Papi! *only the most common name in the universe!

I kinda just want to go to the ER . I'm just achy as **** and I feel like my *** is
going to fall out

I'm not eating enough because of tbis dumb **** stomach issue. Idk MGK says he basically doesnf eat

I'm listening to the song Mad World in the dark.

I just got pissed at my mom about how I wasn't feeling good. And shes *****ing at me about food. And then I projectile vomited a ton of popcorn and water.

Curious about this too. Papi is my cat, he’s not on petfinder or from a rescue

Just been enjoying the evening reading. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my program manager. I did 30 min on the treadmill today.

All done until I have to get up at 5 am to drink 4 more cups. They want me there at 9 am! I thought all colonoscopy’s were in the afternoon. So it looks like I’m not going to get much sleep, if any.

Beachball and corn.

Just be careful with what you guys post.

Had a quiet day. Hung out in the lobby twice. People stopped to chat. It was nice. Took my dog to the dog park twice. The second time there were some young men talking smack about a young girl who is lovely but a bit silly. It made me think what they say about ME when i am not there. I watched news for the first time this year and feel more oriented and connected to reality. I felt sad and lonely and cried twice. I bought myself some gifts for my birthday and am feeling brighter about it. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

@Blue_Bird: Papi looks like a rascal. Cats sure are charming creatures.

@Blueberrybook: Hope you are getting good help and wishing you a speedy recovery. We all miss you here.

Just ignore me. I'm not myself. I'm going to cancel my kidney doctor a just sleep all day.

I didn’t use my CPAP last night and had problems breathing, sleeping poorly. Despite this, today was a nice day. It was a quiet afternoon.

School went well today. I have some students who like to sing while they work-it's cute.

I'd say my depression and SI is slightly less that yesterday so that was nice. It's to soon to know if it's the higher dose of seroquel or just having a busy day to distract me. I had work and then an video call about the grief support groups I applied to volunteer for. The next step is some paperwork and to complete the training the require all volunteers to do. I tried to get some physical activity in, but my foot wouldn't allow it.

As the evening progresses, I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed/anxious, but it will be night med and bed time soon enough.

Okay okay. I knew I said I wasn't going to do anything today, but my family kind of dragged me out of the apartment to go to the park with them. Lol.