Bipolar Check-In #93

Started on the surprep and it is god awful tasting worse then the mag citrate
This colon cleanse is awful. But I have to due it again tonight at 4am to be 6 hours before the colonoscopy in the morning.
Sorry I am whining.
bizi

holy crap! what are they going to do about it. Do you any idea what it or remember what it could come from???? that is shocking!
Can you feel it? are you in pain?

I see my T tomorrow and my pdoc Wednesday. It’s been three weeks since I saw my T and 6 months for pdoc. I have no idea what to say. The last three days I’ve been at home, avoiding the drama of the building. My meds are fine, I don’t want any adjustments and have no complaints. I quite like my pdoc but have no symptoms for him to tackle. I must be his most boring patient. We’ve made small adjustments in sleep meds but nothing else.

I do need to go to Walmart for my tea, I’m on my last box, but I hate going there so I avoid it. I also need to get to the library for my book and a look at the mammoth tooth they have on display. The tooth was found near the fairgrounds. Nothing was said on the rest of the mammoth. Maybe there will be more information about it there. This area was free of glaciers so I suppose they roamed here to eat.

Dunno. They saw it on CT previously and never mentioned it! I don’t know if it’s from my tummy tuck 20 years ago??? My liver biopsy a few months ago was done from the right side not the left. I see my primary again for my annual in 3 days so we’ll discuss it then. Nobody’s ever mentioned it to me before today and I’ve had plenty of CT scans and X-rays.

But hey, someone’s gotta be sober to pilot this sack of bones somewhat responsibly, right?

I think I’m gonna take some seroquell

Back to my gp with this damn gastro in a few hours. I was up half the night on the toilet. This is ridiculous. No ways are my meds absorbing properly.

Anyone hear from VictoriasMom lately? Seems like it’s been awhile since she’s posted

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No I haven’t hope she’s okay!

Feeling pretty good. I had an amazing day - did some of my Christmas shopping, which is crazy I know, but I had some great ideas for people. Read my Star Wars book today and worked a bit. Also, Star Trek: Khan was released today for Star Trek Day today, which no one seemed to know about today. But I celebrated lol.

Haven't heard from my guy, but I am still in good spirits. Watching Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy with my best friend. I am not tearing myself up for not receiving a phone call, I've had two weeks of bliss so far. I know he gets moody and hot and uncomfortable - it's really hot over in California right now. I am enjoying a really cool evening with a nice Fall breeze with the fan in the window. Feeling really good, so I guess that's all that matters.

@Nammu the mammoth tooth sounds really interesting, I hope you take a picture = I feel like I bore my psychiatrist too, I am so afraid of any med changes. @Blue_Bird hope your pdoc appointment goes well, looking forward to out Bible Study Friday. : )

A guy in my drop-in has seemed cool other times and has a reputation for being supportive. Others have suggested i talk to him when they didn't feel they were able to handle me. So this guy asked me today what's been going on when i said my year has been hysterical.

So i told him briefly and in broad strokes and he just looked at me with a blank face and didn't say a word. Not even something simple, like, "Sorry to hear it's been so hard," or, "Gee, that really *IS* a lot." He just sat there like a deer in the headlights.

I felt like an alien, like my words were not communicating anything to him, like i was speaking but not being heard. So much for this so very "supportive" guy. He was about as supportive as a rock.

It's experiences like this that make me not want to seek help for my problems. If all the person is going to do is stare at me blankly, well, i can get the same experience talking to a wall.

Anyway, i fled. The drop-in was making me sick anyways, with one woman being manipulatively charming, so phony, and one staff who can't stand that i have expertise in an area answering questions that were directed to me, as if his skimming the Wikipedia entry on it compares to the two decades i devoted to it.

Another day hating everyone and everything.

I've been having breathing problems for years but lately it's been really disabling with panting and wheezing from doing easy stuff like tidying. I've booked with my doctor to investigate. Possible COPD (my mom died of it but i'm not a smoker and she was) or possible asthma.

My doctor can't see me for two weeks so i'll call tomorrow and try to get in to see one of the other doctors in his practice. I don't like my doctor anyways, he thinks everything is due to my weight and even prescribed dieting for itchy skin.

"Frustrated, Incorporated."

It’s been a bipolar day full of highs and lows; an emotional roller coaster. I’m fried. All of the family bs is hard to take. Sometimes family is a real trip. Today was full of drama and harsh feelings. I still haven’t processed it. Everything’s moving too fast and feels too intense.

Sounds like a bunch of drama. I am sorry for your situation. Do you take psych meds. can you take a prn?

I’m
Stressing. Work is a lot. Praying this week goes smoothly

She might just be very busy. She said she was doing a lot of school plus a puppy. I do hope that’s just it.

Today felt long. It wasn't a bad day, but it was a full day. My students gave me a good laugh. And, one invited me to go to their after school athletic event so I went and watched her team play. They won! Tomorrow, families at our school are providing a free sweet treat for us so that will be nice-a good way to start the day.

My mood was okay while at work, but did is usual downfall once I started heading home. I really don't know what to do about that since part of the problem is not feeling safe where I live and there isn't much I can do to change that. I also think part of the problem is I spend all day masking to hide my symptoms so, once I don't have to any more, I just crash.

@Mountaindewed it sounds like you are doing well at recovering.

@Moose72 I can't believe you've had a tube inside for potentially 20 years! That's not what you expect to hear.

@Crazy Hitch I hope your GI symptoms resolve soon. It's not fun to deal with that for so long.

@June08 Your post reminds me of the job I had before and early in my diagnosis. I had to clock in and walk down this long corridor, part of which was a ramp. I would get to the ramp, take a deep breath and put on my "happy face" for the day. On the way out at the end of the day I'd walk out of wherever I happened to be working and crumple because it took so much out of me to seem happy.

@LadyShadow happy star wars day!

I've had another day of not doing a lot. I helped with cooking supper and that's about it. I was so tired this afternoon for no obvious reason. Hopefully tomorrow I'm more energetic. I have my therapist and then a quick trip to the store in the city.

Heres a new one for ya. I stopped in the apartment office today to report that sometimes, when i get up in the middle of the night or early morning to pee, i go to wash my hands and get a drink of water - and the water from the cold side of the uni-tap is HOT!

IT'S SO GROSS!!! IM like, is that somebodys bathwater or what??? It only started in the past month, since theyve been working on the building for student move-in. Fortunately, a secretary in the office piped up and said it happened to her too, she lives on my floor. Cuz the manager was NOT believing me!

Its so gross!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi Sounds like a bunch of drama. I am sorry for your situation. Do you take psych meds. can you take a prn?

I’m on meds and see T Wednesday. I do have a prn that helps. Thanks for caring. It means a lot.

@bizi you are really having to do a lot of prep. I hope it goes well.

This has been the summer of bowel preps on here!

My gp has me booked in at 10:30am tomorrow morning for an ultrasound on my gallbladder and appendix. Think she’s just being precautionary. Both areas were tender to the touch when she pressed down on them. I was looking up the symptoms of gall bladder disease and I don’t really tick the boxes. It’s not painful if no one is touching it.

| livingstondaily.com

I had a tummy tuck done by her 20 years ago!

Edited deleted

[QUOTE=BeyondtheRainbow;7511247]

@Moose72 I can't believe you've had a tube inside for potentially 20 years! That's not what you expect

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Gonna try to get Friday's meds early and cross out two more 4,000 footers and one of the Terrifying 25 trails


But I have therapy today and I went a little berserk on my DBT homework and went on some tangent on all the shyt I did/turned myself into over some cruel but charming a-hole.

I have my appointment with my psychiatrist later at 4:30pm. ThenI have to head out downtown from 6pm to 8pm for my NAMI peer class which starts today. It’s the first class. There’s a 2 hour class 8 Tuesdays in a row, then at the final one I get a certificate

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