[brokenbpd]

I hate everything today.. so agiatated at every single little thing, and that just pisses me off more that I can't stop being so agiatated!!!! URGGGGGG!

just wondering, how am i supposed to escape and feel better when i'm the one invalidating my own feelings?

when i'm upset, it doesn't matter. my feelings are because i'm just being stupid.

meh.

otherwise feeling okay. getting out with the kids this afternoon while husband flea-proofs the house and back yard. going to buy some shoes. meh.

[greentires4me]

I feel oddly content like I did yesterday but that could always change as feelings are like every revolving

((((Dream)))) your feelings matter far from stupid

(Are they your messages honey invalidating or something you heard from the past that sticks with you?)


[QUOTE=DreamAddiction37;2965829]just wondering, how am i supposed to escape and feel better when i'm the one invalidating my own feelings?

when i'm upset, it doesn't matter. my feelings are because i'm just being stupid.

meh.

otherwise feeling okay. getting out with the kids this afternoon while husband flea-proofs the house and back yard. going to buy some shoes. meh.[/QUOTE]

[youwillrise]

having trouble identifying my feelings lately.

[ruby.lestrange]

I haven't checked in in a while, so I thought I would

I have to go to a social event tomorrow evening, so I'm spending the rest of today mentally preparing myself to be around people I don't know.

Finally checked in with my GP, who classified me as a "moderate to severe 'crisis' case", which on one hand made me feel bad and guilty (don't know why) and on the other made me feel a little relieved, because she referred me to (yet another) place that might speak English and be able to help me.

I hope everyone else is doing alright!

[beautifulfreak]

Feel so low, lost. Hurting. I feel disgusted with myself. Sad.

I am existing, however, I am not living…

With my girls here, I've taken a break from PC for the most part. I don't know if that's good or bad. It just is. I feel okay at the moment though I don't know what to think of others. Am I a user and manipulator or am I the one being used?

I can't help anyone, including myself.

Originally Posted by Maranara

With my girls here, I've taken a break from PC for the most part. I don't know if that's good or bad. It just is. I feel okay at the moment though I don't know what to think of others. Am I a user and manipulator or am I the one being used?

It is good that you're taking a break we all need a break now and then, I haven't been much used to anyone either so don't feel bad about it.
Doesn't make you a manipulator but I am concerned that you think people are using you.

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

It is good that you're taking a break we all need a break now and then, I haven't been much used to anyone either so don't feel bad about it.
Doesn't make you a manipulator but I am concerned that you think people are using you.

I don't know whether to trust my gut, what other people say, take things for what they appear on the surface, or to not trust anything. Very confusing. I wish I had more determination and self confidence in my own self-worth. That would go a long way.

[greentires4me]

feeling alright...drank last night no hangover no emotional stir fry....

I wish I could return to December 26, 2011. I would prevent my daughter from being raped. That would stop all of the subsequent events that have happened since then that caused my BPD to flourish to the point that I could no longer cope and had to come out of denial. Yes, I was in denial and something probably would have happened eventually to cause me to lose it, but I wouild have at least had more time thinking I had no real problems and that I could manage. By the way, my daughter is doing fine and came out of it like a champ. Her mother, due to her impulsive actions, did not and is still struggling to this day.

Horrible weekend. No one to talk to. No one's even been on PC. I don't know what to do.

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Horrible weekend. No one to talk to. No one's even been on PC. I don't know what to do.

You can pm me if you need some one to talk to, I'll talk till I fall asleep,
Your be helping me out to, stopping these horrible flash backs. And the guilt I feel.

I worked all weekend and my job bores the crap out of me. So I went from a job that I hated because I was constantly anxious and triggered, and where my employer abused my work ethic, to a job that I don't think I like because I am boooored out of my freaking mind so I feel badly because I feel like I'm never satisfied, so I feel like I can't tell anyone in my life that I don't like this new job very much. The people are nice (even if I don't really connect with them at all), except that there is one nurse who feels she has to micromanage me and she kind of rubs me the wrong way but whatever. I feel badly because I snapped at her today. She means well but she is always telling me what to do, and I don't do well being bossed around. I'm not a child for god's sake. *sigh* Arrrgh, whatever. I'm fine, just had a boring day and wish I hadn't momentarily lost my cool. That's all.

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

((((Dream)))) your feelings matter far from stupid

(Are they your messages honey invalidating or something you heard from the past that sticks with you?)

a little of both. my parents and what they brought me up to believe about myself, i guess.





feeling okay today. husband and i decided to flea-proof today. he stayed home from church and after church i took the kids on a trip to the mall and then we drove around a bit, brought lunch home, picked up husband and visited his parents.

were going to visit my parents, but they weren't "up for company". okay, that's fine, don't get your asses in gear to see your grandchildren when we only get to come to town maybe once or twice a month. that's fine, we'll let my in-laws watch the kids grow up while you sleep their lives away.

whatever. it really doesn't bug me much, but you know, they could be decent people once in a while.

otherwise doing okay. ready to get back to work.

[poptart316]

I'm not functioning very well and don't feel at all "with it". My sleep schedules backwards again so I stayed up all night playing computer games. I'm contemplating what to do now.. sleep? shower? watch TV? Play more computer games? Do something more productive? I just feel very unsatisfied/bored/antsy. dlkfsdjkfldlsfsdklfdkflskl
I might have a coffee date later.. it's something to do. : |

it's a good day in spite of the start. I got sleep, went to bed by 12:30 am which is good for me. I ended up getting up at the time I sent my first boy to school around 6:30 when he gets up. Off to a good start, but then my 2nd boy got a bloody nose I was attending to and ended up leaving at the last minute. Had to try and rush to the bus, walking so fast got shin splints severely and got about a half a block away and watched as the last bus out took off. :/ By miracle, my friend (the guy that used to give me a ride daily) was home and said he'd pick me up and give me a ride. Ended up only 15 min late for work and I'm here now so it can still be a good day.

irritated. this town is so stupid about pets. pretty much if you have any you're screwed trying to find a place around here.

waiting for noon so i can vacuum. thinking about walking to the college so i can pick up a friend's tickets to some wrestling thing this coming weekend. since i don't think husband will get home in time for me to do so before the office closes at 5. sigh...

not in the mood for life today...

[greentires4me]

another sunny day I am feeling alright...really really tired though...but going to an appointment see how that changes things talk to you all a little later

Justice is finally being done

http://forums.psychcentral.com/survi...5-verdict.html

[tohelpafriend]

to the edge and back.....always like that......confronting others of my boundaries.....so, f them.....needy people don't ask, like relatives, they just manipulate.........and like men who are cowards and just can't face the music of their underlying illnesses.....i hope everyone else is OK today...i don't yet totally understand my borderline thing.....i think i would be happily balanced with a borderline guy......

[greentires4me]

well like I said things change I got my red friend in the middle of appointment not an utter shock but a shock none the less...I am irritable and B*tchy as my mom called it...I just got home to take some meds because I am in pain....waahhh....I am good now but could go for a nap

Well another good thing today. According to the calculations of child support, based on my ex not working, I could owe up to $800 a month for child support. that's WITH me having them most of the time! O.o I didn't think that was very fair. But of course I can impute income for her and it would be based on her ability to make a lot more than she does and it would lower the amount. So I was prepared to use that. Offered $400 a month settled out of court. She just plain agreed, without any questions. O.O can't say I'm unhappy about that!