[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Arrived at work today, and the power was out, No one bothered to check the MAIN breaker since Saturday..

With the power back, i guess i no longer have an excuse not to call...

so much for prayer and meditation today...in a **** mood, apparently.

supposed to be cleaning the house, a repair man is coming to fix our oven tomorrow but i can't get myself in gear...

headache behind my left eye. i want my husband home. i hurt everywhere.

[youwillrise]

if you dont want me to come over just freaking say it. im sick of you. i hate you. why the hayle are you still in my life? why dont you just go away? why cant i let you go? you stupid piece of crap... no, im the stupid piece of crap for holding onto someone who doesnt give 2 ishts about me. oh, i guess that's most of the people in my life. yay me.

Doing alright today. Had the last four days off since I had to call in sick Friday. Usually my days off are rough; I need the structure of work but being sick, I've slept through most of the last four days and I don't really feel like going back to work tomorrow. My job is actually a little boring, and so being there for 12 hours gets looooong. I think I'll bring my Nook to work. Not totally appropriate but, whatever, if people can look at Pinterest and text on their cell phones how is that different than me reading my Nook during down times?

feeling better today.

we had been looking at some houses but they're no longer an option. so will be here in this generally meh neighborhood for a little longer.

but going back to work soon. manager just needs to talk to HR because i've worked there twice and left twice because of kids - which i can't have anymore so that's no longer an issue. my schedule fits what manager needs right now, and i need the extra $600/month my job will pull in.

[shery53]

feeling nervous. Have T apt and always wonder what we will talk about. She is new I hope she can help me.

Don't have much to say to many of the posts lately. Sorry everyone, kinda in my own world...

[greentires4me]

I overdosed on the weekend that being Sunday when I was drinking...not to say my greatest thing I have done this far but I was weak and out of sorts when all my coping skills went out the window I just returned to my old ways of doing things.

then yesterday I was so tired about 2pm I went for a nap then woke up at 8:55pm on the dot. I said screw it with doing anymore things so I took my night pills and went back to bed.

today I feel restless and I don't know what day it is...I keep saying tuesday but my voice inside my head says sunday...so who really knows anymore.

[imaginationunlimitd]

today i got a new job.my soulmate made a wonderful dinner for me.after a long time she was so happy.for 3years ive created a lots of trouble for her.trying to practice mindfulness,only 10% improvement in observation,description,participation and non judgemental stance..still its progress.
i became hypertalkative and too much emotional after having the dinner.a bit afraid when will again hurt her saying something unpleasant.:-(

[greyclouds]

Fuming angry. I've totally miss read a text over reacted and can't stand to take blame for it.

It's there fault not mine I'm not going to be blame for it f em

Grrrrr.
I don't want to see that person any way. Hate them.

Good news mum and dad finally reading about disorder and trying to understand. But dad thinks I could be stalker remembering fatal attraction and mum thinks I may try to kill myself but at least they trying!!!

And just for record. No stalker nor do I want to die.

Originally Posted by greyclouds

And just for record. No stalker nor do I want to die.

Not a stalker? Darn. I needed some attention O.O jk!

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Not a stalker? Darn. I needed some attention O.O jk!

Haha hey blue eyes haha

Originally Posted by greyclouds

Haha hey blue eyes haha

But.. my eyes are brown. you must have been looking at the dude over there *points*

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

But.. my eyes are brown. you must have been looking at the dude over there *points*

Haha I'm colour blind didn't you know only see things in blue and green

That's right colour scheme changed from black and white to blue and green

Originally Posted by greyclouds

Haha I'm colour blind didn't you know only see things in blue and green

That's right colour scheme changed from black and white to blue and green

Nope. I didn't know that! Sorry! so how do I look with blue eyes? haha

[greyclouds]

Fabulous haha

Just looked in mirror tho found a new colour it called red. I think it means I'm boiling over.
God I feel so angry right now. God damn it. I angry with myself grrrrr

I'm going to YouTube need to listen to something

Home from work. knew I had a migraine coming on riding the bus. Suddenly looked up and half my vision was like looking through glass that has a distortion or big water bead on it... I know what this means everytime it goes away and here comes the migraine... walked home, but stopped at subway just in case I hadn't eaten well or something and had a sandwich. I was ok on the way home... now i can tell I've been fighting off a migraine all afternoon and now it's trying to fight back >.< I don't mean I get migraines like everyone calls their very bad headaches either I mean genuine, debilatating, vomit-inducing headaches... it's just trying to come through but I'm fighting it... as if by my will I can do that o.O... lol. I'll let you know how the battle goes...

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Not a stalker? Darn. I needed some attention O.O jk!

Thanks for the laugh....I needed one.

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Finally got the wife's BBM working, now i can message her instead of calling all the time .... Make's my life a little less stressful...

I'm up and working. Since my commute consists of going up and down a flight of stairs a time or two and that's it, I don't think I'm quite awake yet. Feel okay at the moment; we'll see how long that holds up. Hopefully for a bit.

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Almost home time, and tomorrow is public holiday..

Hmm i'm avoiding been on this site when at home, don't want the wife to see just yet...

wonder if i could hang on till Friday...

[greentires4me]

I got paid today welfare Wednesday...woot woot

now to pay my rent 375$

I feel slightly excited but after that slightly depressed then slightly restless then slightly annoyed...just a roller coaster feel

[greyclouds]

I still feel really Disconnected I've done most of my normal things that help shift it. I'm doing okay chatting in here. But real world is hard.

I've not answered my phone to anyone today. I can only write. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

Smiling hurts right now. I forgot what my laugh sounds like!!
I'm dreading work tomorrow. I will have to communicate with others.
Oh god I will have to see my parents too it's Thursday!

Originally Posted by MPD-AvPD-BPD

Almost home time, and tomorrow is public holiday..

Hmm i'm avoiding been on this site when at home, don't want the wife to see just yet...

wonder if i could hang on till Friday...

Do you have a smart phone? There are ways to satisfy your urges.

Originally Posted by greyclouds

I still feel really Disconnected I've done most of my normal things that help shift it. I'm doing okay chatting in here. But real world is hard.

I've not answered my phone to anyone today. I can only write. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

Smiling hurts right now. I forgot what my laugh sounds like!!
I'm dreading work tomorrow. I will have to communicate with others.
Oh god I will have to see my parents too it's Thursday!

Aw I hope you feel better tomorrow. I'm not answering my phone either. Good luck!

feeling useless, unhelpful and unneeded. I'm gonna go find a rock to hide under.