[Luctor]

Feeling stronger every day. Like the shackles of this most recent depressive relapse are finally coming off.

Now to continue my battle against BPD. Going to throw myself into DBT training with renewed passion. I've already come so far - I can only get better.

BPD, I will beat you.

[Luctor]

Originally Posted by poptart316

I'm bored and sick of everything.

The Erotica Ball wasn't as fun as I thought it would be.. it was kinda lame and the food sucked plus my friend and his roommate needed a ride and his roommate totally didn't like me or the guy I'm seeing.. but whatever, she's a loud- obnoxious b!tch.

Also, I had to drop some of my classes today because I didn't have enough finaid and wont be taking classes till July.. more boredom! Yayy!

Erotica ball?

[kala83]

ugh so lately I keep obessing over a particular guy I like I really, feel this is a combo of my BPD and HPN I am to a degree very proud of myself, cause I am making myself distance myself from him and making my self try to go out and do other things.

But the fact my brain feels like a 12 year old boy crazy pre teen is slightly annoying. but later this week I should be starting my DBT support group. So going to be learning better coping skills.

Change is not easy but if I want better in my life I have to do things that are not easy for me. And this is just one out of many for me.

Realized the other night I've been snappy and short with my kids. Too much stress going on in my life and it's been getting to me lately. :/ It's ok though I'm now aware of what I've been doing and I can do something about it now.

[avlady]

I feel like i could cry, soo depressed, want a new med i think the old ones are not good anymore, i also feel alone, and sick-oh yes-i probably have the flu-sorry

[bluebear9048]

Feeling unusually hopeful today.. and feeling a bit funny/silly. Randomly laughing hehehe.
No school today so I got to sleep in until 7 am , yay!

Originally Posted by bluebear9048

Feeling unusually hopeful today.. and feeling a bit funny/silly. Randomly laughing hehehe.
No school today so I got to sleep in until 7 am , yay!

7 am? Wha??? ::: scratches head ::: When I sleep in, it's til noon or afternoon!

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

7 am? Wha??? ::: scratches head ::: When I sleep in, it's til noon or afternoon!

I know, me too! I slept in until 11am today. I get up for work at 7:30am. I suppose 7am is sleeping in if you get up at like, 5am though.

[bluebear9048]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

7 am? Wha??? ::: scratches head ::: When I sleep in, it's til noon or afternoon!

7:25 I slept until , actually ! And I know, that's still extremely early. I used to sleep in way past noon.. sometimes until 2. I have been waking up at 6:00 am lately. I have to catch a bus at 7:40 am.. ew.

Originally Posted by bluebear9048

7:25 I slept until , actually ! And I know, that's still extremely early. I used to sleep in way past noon.. sometimes until 2. I have been waking up at 6:00 am lately. I have to catch a bus at 7:40 am.. ew.

ahh ok. yeah I have to catch a bus fairly early but on the weekends yeah fuggetaboudit I'm out til prolly 2 pm too. >.<

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

7 am? Wha??? ::: scratches head ::: When I sleep in, it's til noon or afternoon!

Must be nice...sleeping in is about 8. I plain out can't sleep later. I usually wake up before 6.

My mood is pretty okay since I just got home from the gym and working out makes me feel good. However, I'm experiencing the fallout from Saturday night (I talked about it before--where I kind of ruined my nice night out with my friend...) My friend told me that he didn't want to plan on going to a Tigers game with me after all because he didn't want to commit to that long of a day with me (it's across the state so it would indeed be all day and into the night). He's merely setting boundaries, not being mean to me, but it still feels like crap. I feel like I can't win, like I'm never going to be able to act normal with him and so he's never going to want to commit to something like that with me. I feel defeated.

[TheRealFDeal]

I was feeling fine yesterday, even marveled at how OK I was feeling. But the blues gradually crept up on me starting early this afternoon. Now I'm crying. I'm so tired of looking for a T and not finding one. So tired of feeling so lonely. Feeling so sad.

[Luctor]

Feeling okay.

I'm currently working 13 hour days. I'm on day number 3 of 4...and I'm working Friday as well but only for 8 hours. Working long days worry me. I tend to crash when they're over and done with. I guess I just need to cross my fingers for the best.

Depressed and ashamed. Don't want to go to graduation next week because I have to see him and he hates me.

Getting very, very sleepy. Unless something happens, I'm not certain I'll be able to make it through the day.

I have been having dizzy spells for the past 2 days, Must be the patches that are helping me to quit smoking, I went to the group again earlier and explained to the leader what has been happening she seems to the think that the patches are very strong for me so has lowered them, Hopefully the lower strength will now decrease the dizziness.

Also went to see my doctor this morning about the swelling on my neck, he said if it's no better in a week then he will send me for a scan.

Today was my last day of high school. Forever. So now it's summer. I'm always more depressed in the summer. I'm gonna try to distract myself and distance myself from certain people this summer.

[greentires4me]

Today I went to DBT shared my adventure into the hospital once I was done then wanted to analize what lead up to my drinking why do I have to go to the same pharmacy if it triggers me alll this round about questions I wwasn;t prepared to answer I then became really tired and depleted me from keeping up conversation. I sat there and felt rejected by convo and lack luster or even not wanting to participate.

but I got a call from a potential work position to be filled....so I am all excited yet drained.

I wish I had more news or feeling towards it alll.

PS I found where I am going for the interview

[poptart316]

I'm bored, lonely, I wish I had more to say and I wish I had someone to hang out with right now and I wish that Chris wasn't out of town till Sunday.

[Luctor]

Doing okay. I can feel the emptiness and loneliness tugging at my mood. But I'm staying strong, focused and active.

Working 13 hours again today. Feel kinda distant to my feelings, to everyone. Don't know if I should fight it or deal with it. At least you can't get too upset when you feel nothing, but despite the feeling, one person saying one thing can change the feeling in an instant. Hate being so mercurial (word of the day) at times.

therapist confirmed yesterday that BPD is unlikely for me. we start weekly sessions and will go into more depth with possible AvPD starting next week.

[hezaa82]

feeling really alone. I wish I had someone I could share all the small details of my life with. thinking about how few people I actually have in my life and how superficial those relationships are and it's discouraging. trying to confront the dysfunction in my family but it's frustrating. at least they're on the other side of the world.