[greentires4me]

so today I woke up at 1:30am couldn't get to sleep so I had to grab an ativan then I slept until 4:30am then I guess I fell back asleep until 10:30...I just layed in bed until 11am.

I am feeling kind of antcy today also hot and sweaty

[amillee]

hello to everyone welcome to this forum

Other than being charged by an online company for services I never received and on top of those getting overdraft fees, having to call the bank, fill out dispute forms and fax them in, everything is grand!

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

well plus it's probably a nice feeling of being pampered, if only for a short time

Yes, it is.

[greentires4me]

today I woke up at 6:30am because the sun was coming in through the windows...I laid in bed until 11am...trying to hopefully fall back asleep but nothing was coming around...

today I have a meeting planned with Work BC...trying to hopefully get some useful tips in to get employment or even something part time to fill my void

Work was very busy; the doctor and PA I was working with were s-l-o-w so we weren't moving patients out of the ER very fast. A few patients were there for more than 6 hours. Ridiculous. Made most of my 12 hour shift suck, but I was working with good nurses so that was alright. I'm really glad to be home. Put my feet up, turned the AC on, watched a movie, and now I might watch another. Why not? I don't have to work tomorrow....I can sleep in.

I feel like there's something in my brain making me act in ways I know are going to end up hurting me.

[greentires4me]

today woke up at 7:30am went down and did my laundry then came back up and went back to bed until 9:30 went downstairs and changed over the laundry then went back up stairs again then woke up again 12pm folded all my put it all away woke up again to 1:50pm went down stairs for cake it was good red velvet cake with cream cheese icing.

I feel rather depressed this morning but now I feel comfortable with the air flow but seem to feel rather SI pressure

[BorderlineMess]

Ugh, I'm so depressed right now. I just got back to my apartment after staying with my sister for a week. My roommate seems unfazed by my sudden appearance after dropping off the face of the earth for a week. I feel really sensitive and very emotional. I've been sleeping all day and staying awake all night. I think I'm developing agoraphobia. My nerves are on fire.

[spes]

Questioning the the wisdom of real imaginary friends...

Just realized today that I haven't had the extreme anxiety that I was having for a little while now. I've had some anxiety here and there, but certainly not that panicky, all-consuming anxiety that I was feeling. It's much more manageable. Which is weird because I'm on less medication than I was when I was feeling so anxious. Oh well, it's fine with me both because I'm glad to be less anxious and because I do not want to be on a ton of meds.

[LostAngel0616]

Ugh, it's been a while. Things have been crazy with the pregnancy and classes. I'm still waiting to be put on a safe medication. I'm pushing myself through my last weeks of class, totally not as motivated as I thought I would be. Found out that I'm having a boy, but the babies father is turning out to be unintentionally deadbeat. He's not even thinking about himself, let alone his kids. I'm about to tell him that if he wants to be in his sons life, he has to prove it. I'm done going out of my way for him to be included. And I don't want my son to have his male influence be a freeloader. But, I do have an amazing new girlfriend who is crazy excited about the baby (she's been more involved than the father). So everything is crazy and all over the place, and I just don't know how to feel. All I know is that my depression is starting to take over, and that really scares me... =/

[x_BabyG_x]

Feeling so much better today!

Is funny how you can go from a really dark place where you hate everyone and your so angry one evening, to feeling like your heart is fluttering the next. I'm going to go to bed before I totally switch and spoil the night again!

[greentires4me]

today I had a good day except when I got my shot that beeep beeping thing hurt then it just started to gush out blood.

I got a new pill called celebrex for the pain in my back its making me rather sleepy.

Feeling good (as in not depressed at all) but I'm really bored today. And it's hard to come onto the forums when you're not depressed because the forums tend to be triggering...but I'm bored and I want to talk to someone...

[Luvmydog]

Today has been weird. That's the only way that I can describe it, not good, not bad, just weird. Don't feel like I got enough done around the house, but I think I just needed a day off (even though I still did a little, just not as much as I would have liked). Over the last few days, my anger has been on a short fuse. Today, not so much. I just feel weird, I dunno. I can't put my finger on it.

[RebbieDoll]

I've had a horrible day, emotionally. I hate myself and everything, and I feel like worst, least intelligent, most irritating, worthless person in the world. But I'm trying very hard not to let it spread out

[AnnaBegins]

Struggling to see the point of it all today. I feel like every good day is immediately followed by a fog of sadness and despair. I'm tired of feeling this way and don't see an acceptable way out. All I want to do is sleep and go completely numb...stop fighting and just shut myself off so I don't feel anything anymore.

Originally Posted by misskeena

Just realized today that I haven't had the extreme anxiety that I was having for a little while now. I've had some anxiety here and there, but certainly not that panicky, all-consuming anxiety that I was feeling. It's much more manageable. Which is weird because I'm on less medication than I was when I was feeling so anxious. Oh well, it's fine with me both because I'm glad to be less anxious and because I do not want to be on a ton of meds.

that's good. maybe the amount of meds was exacerbating the problem or amplifying them. You never know. sometimes a smaller amount of something or just a different mix helps. Glad you're feeling relatively good.

Had a crappy day yesterday. Well it didn't turn out crappy in the end but started out that way. Had a bad case of insomnia. couldn't sleep more than a few min at a time the night before and ended up when I got up at 7 something in the morning finally I was so tired I was wobbly and dizzy... had to call in again to work and missed another day I didn't want to. Ended up finally falling asleep around 9 am and sleeping til about 5 pm O.O

Decided to take a sleep aid at about 10 pm to make sure i got up today. Well it worked and I got up at about 3 am or so... got to work on time and am working so today's a little better. dunno why I'm still sleepy now though O.O

[greentires4me]

yesterday was blah I got my teeth cleaned found out I have no cavities they just wanna build up on my tooth instead of doing a crown because my insurance won't cover a crown.

I missed my counselor appointment by sleeping in instead I called in asked to speak to her so we had a conversation over the phone about my week then she said our meeting was at 4pm then stopped her self and said actually she has me down for 2pm. You know what some times they are so picky and they change everything on ya.

so Today I woke up at 4:30am...then I could get back to sleep until 8am then up woke up 1:30pm. So many people calling or texting me its not even funny so I guess it was time to wake up and join the people of the sun.

I feel rather drowsy and I really wanna go back to sleep but its hard now that I am awake.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Good: I made the commitment this weekend that I'm getting my ***** up in the morning and getting to work everyday. I'm sick of my lazy butt. Got to work today, on time and everything... yay me. (not really yay, b/c I'm just doing what I should be doing but hey)

Bad: Played way too much Skyrim this weekend - played til sun was up and then slept the day away :/ Well it's not THAT bad, nowhere to go and kids are still gone but still..

Ugly: My reflection in the mirror. :P

[greentires4me]

I basically slept each time I did laundry from 7-9-11am but i was finally allowed to sleep that long I also went to the pharmacy then went to the grocery store and picked up two cases of pop because thats all I could carry and saved 6.26$. I wish I had another arm that worked out that I could carry a 3 pack with a hand of course...or maybe a friend to come with me to the grocery store for the 3rd pack.

then I was so tired at 3 I jumped into bed and fell asleep for 3rd nap of the day maybe 2 hours there was a point there where I was still awake though.

I feel good for now just sad the cops took away my SI tool away last time, when they were here. *pouts*

[youwillrise]

been a while since ive visited here.

ive been fairly okay lately. not perfect, but okay. i think i finally let go of an attachment. i sent him a short message yesterday after which i cried, but the tears lasted for the SHORTEST time. i have always found myself blubbering for long periods of time over him, but it was different yesterday. i cried for a minute and then i was done. i've latched onto him for long enough. i really hope i can keep my self control with this.

ive been working an enrichment program/day camp with 6 & 7 year olds, but i miss my regular preschool classroom and i'm eager to go back to meet new children and see old ones again.

i'm finding myself frustrated at camp and i cannot WAIT until it's over. 14 more days...well, 12 for me. don't think i'll be working camp next year.

i'm truly considering checking out portland, oregon...have felt a pull to there for many years now and i finally want to travel there and see what it's all about. maybe i'll escape there and start a renewed life or something. i dunno.

i talk too much.

hi.

I've realized that it is me and I'm the reason I'm alone. But it makes sense in my mind but no one will listen to what I think because they think it's just annoying. I'm going to make myself very scarce from now on, I'd rather just not talk to anybody.