[greentires4me]

Today I woke up major tired I kept waking up every 15mins since 3:30am this morning.

I feel just bleh...I have a Pdoc meeting in about 30mins and I having a flip flop fight in my head about wear them or shoes because I have to walk to the pharmacy to get my pills then walk home in them as well...ugh

[BorderlineMess]

Feeling really good right now. I think it's just a false high from getting a couple of things done. But I'll ride it out. I'll take any natural high I can get at this point. Or maybe it's the chocolate covered cashews I just had. Chocolate is amazing sometimes. I think it has magical healing powers....

I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

I feel like wishing the thread I'm hanging on by should be broken.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by TheGrace

I feel like wishing the thread I'm hanging on by should be broken.

feel the same

Fluck This.

[greentires4me]

stupid Pdoc posse I get can't drugs from my GP because the PDoc Posse has told my GP off for giving me meds.

other then that I am itchy iin all the wrong places now have meds for it too

and my head is pounding.

I have no idea why, but I'm actually feeling really okay today. I'm not complaining...I'll take it.

[greentires4me]

so today I had a super short counselor appointment not even my full 45mins after I came back home.

I had job interview for an ECE daycare summer program and its not even a block away from my house so it be pretty good line up if I get it I find out monday

I am just feeling restlessness and not sure what I am doing for the weekend..I guess its going over to the parentals

[BorderlineMess]

Finally got an appt with a therapist. Had to call my therapist's supervisor.

I'm really hungry but my stomach has been on the fritz. Yesterday I only ate dinner which I promptly threw up. Hopefully it's not food poisoning because it was really good Chinese food and I still have some left over that I want to eat.

Not looking forward to the weekend. However, I am very glad that it is raining outside right now. I love rain and storms.

[greentires4me]

today I got up and my red friend (my period) gut wrenching I am not hungry but I am thirsty trying to drink a pepsi, and so tired...feel so lazy too.

I am hooked into my cellphone listening to my music

I just feel extremely sore probably because i walked 30mins from grocery store across town to home carrying in two 12 packs of pepsi about 3km. I got muscles...yay! *falls over onto the ground covered in pillows*

Extremely tired now that I just walked across town to get my meds and carrying heavy items to medicine kicking in...at least the headache hasn't kicked in yet from the wellbutrin I am on.

Wishing I had something more to do with my life than post on here, but I never really do.

[growlycat]

Cheers to that missK!! Here I am too

[Flooded]

My pdoc has been away for 8 weeks. She's back to work on Tuesday and I think I'll cancel to punish her for abandoning me

I don't like it.

Lonely and really feel like talking to someone. But I have no one.

[BorderlineMess]

I'm really lonely too, never.

I want to wash all my bed sheets and comforter but I'd have to drag all my stuff to someone's house or to the laundromat. And I really don't feel like dealing with all that on a gloomy wet day.

I really want a margarona. And some Mexican food. I want a normal afternoon.

Freaking annoyed.

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

I really want a margarona.

Ooh me too.

[greentires4me]

Woke up dreaming of rats...I had a knife and I stabbing them but they were all encompassing and large. Ick

I am awake clothed don't want to go anywhere but I am going over to my parentals today. I don't even wanna go there...I wanna hide out in my room forever. Maybe go to the pharmacy then hide out in my room forever. Well until Monday that is...when I need more medication.

I feel determined and lonesome and SI.

[AnnaBegins]

Not feeling overwhelmingly bad today, which in and of itself is unsettling since it happens so rarely. Been spending most of my day reading a book about BPD and thinking of a list of questions to ask my therapist when I see him next week. I can't get emotional in session because I have to go to work immediately afterwards so I figured a "safe" topic of conversation would be asking him how exactly he plans to "treat me" and establish a mutually agreeable road map for the future.

Originally Posted by Flooded

My pdoc has been away for 8 weeks. She's back to work on Tuesday and I think I'll cancel to punish her for abandoning me

You're just shooting yourself in the foot. Your pdoc will not think of your cancelation as a punishment. He/she will likely not even think of it twice while you will have to wait even longer to see your doctor.

[Arethusa]

the past two days has been one of the worst for me. finally starting to feel a bit better

Checking in while at work...yep, still at work. I volunteered to work a double shift tonight if I could have tomorrow afternoon off. I may regret it in a few hours but, oh well.

[matchbox20]

feeling lost, helpless and hopeless. i'm still struggling to find a job, and rejection after rejection after rejection is not doing much for my spirits. the deadline for my tuition payment is fast-approaching, and my parents make sure to remind me whenever they can the importance of getting a job so i can pay for my car and college tuition. yesterday my brother (the only member of my family i completely trust) told me that while I wasn't in the room my father made sure to let my mother know how much of a financial burden i am. the mistakes i've made (the three attempts on my life, and the consequential hospital stays following them) were stupid and selfish, and just cost him more money. of course, my father is too much of a ***** to tell any of this to my face. i am well aware of my mistakes. i already feel like a burden as it is, i don't need my family reminding me of it all the damn time. that and the stress of not having a job is making me sink slowly back into my depression. i'm not eating, and sleep doesn't come easy. i just want to be okay again, whatever okay is.