[littlebitlost]

I'm joining the check in thread.

I'm newly diagnosed and not going so well here at all. Marriage fell apart. Share house is hell with deranged house mate constantly in my face screaming at me triggering PTSD, I'm partially disabled and have bad arthritis in my hip and I'm 28, I cut, badly the other night again, first time in ages, and all I want to do now is cut. I don't understand myself

I'm feeling (physically) awful today. Worked a 16 hour double shift last night, from 3pm Saturday until 7am this (Sunday) morning. It was a good trade-off in theory, because I made that deal so I wouldn't have to go in for my 8 hour shift this afternoon (I just did two 8 hour shifts together instead) and then I would have all day today off and all day tomorrow. However, I feel miserable. I slept fitfully when I came home this morning despite taking sleep meds, maybe only slept 2 hours. My stomach feels awful and I've been throwing up. I still feel exhausted but can't sleep. I worked third shift for five years; I don't know what's wrong with me.

Originally Posted by misskeena

I'm feeling (physically) awful today. Worked a 16 hour double shift last night, from 3pm Saturday until 7am this (Sunday) morning. It was a good trade-off in theory, because I made that deal so I wouldn't have to go in for my 8 hour shift this afternoon (I just did two 8 hour shifts together instead) and then I would have all day today off and all day tomorrow. However, I feel miserable. I slept fitfully when I came home this morning despite taking sleep meds, maybe only slept 2 hours. My stomach feels awful and I've been throwing up. I still feel exhausted but can't sleep. I worked third shift for five years; I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm not sleeping well lately either. What, with my boys in another state... it's not the same in a completely empty place. :/ I get my sleep in the end but only after I wear myself down in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm sorry you're not doing well today.

[greentires4me]

I woke up had a shower put on shorts shaved my legs now I cannot decide what to do stay inside until 4 or go out and suntan my legs because their blinding white...

this morning I feel restful and alert but boredom has set a stone in my life

[AnnaBegins]

Feeling really empty and restless today - no one activity is really catching my attention or engaging me for very long. I almost feel like I should feel sad or unhappy but I'm not quite there - hovering at the edge but not falling over it. Wonder if this is the "calm before the storm"...

[matchbox20]

just plain tired today. i got my butt out of bed to go to church, and forced myself to play piano for the nursing home i have been playing piano for since i was thirteen. i haven't been there since my latest attempt on my life. it did nothing for my spirits, i just squirmed during the sermon and prayed for it to end soon. being productive after i got home, sorted out my room and listing some more valuable thrift store finds on ebay, a hobby of i've taken up now that i'm unemployed. for now i just feel numb, my meds are at least doing that much, taking away the blinding depression and just making it numb. i'm exhausted, after only sleeping three hours or so last night. i'm going to keep doing anything productive i can to keep my mind off myself, for now.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I'm not sleeping well lately either. What, with my boys in another state... it's not the same in a completely empty place. :/ I get my sleep in the end but only after I wear myself down in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm sorry you're not doing well today.

Sorry you're not sleeping well, either. I probably would have slept just fine if I would have come home after my shift was supposed to end, last night at 11:30pm instead of this morning at 7:30am. I've been wanting to start to pick up third shift again at this job (this is at my second job) but man...my body just might not be able to hold up to working overnights anymore. Idk if it has to do with the new meds, depression (I'm really surprised that I wasn't able to sleep much at all this morning), or just that I'm older and can't do it like I used to, but I feel like crap.

And the pale skin and huge dark circles under my eyes today are not cute.

[kala83]

DBT seems to be going well. I seem to be using the life skill in my life, even though I am not entirely sure when I do, do so....

I feel a lot more emotionally content right now....things are not perfect thats for sure...but things are a lot better then what they used to be.

[BorderlineMess]

I had a completely emotional therapist session today. It was my first one since my attempt last weekend. I cried most of the way through. So the therapist starts talking about putting me in a hospital. Since I can't promise I won't hurt myself, she asks another therapist to come in and talk to me. We talked for about 20 minutes and he says that he thinks I should go to a hospital. I say ok and he starts calling.

Despite how large this city is, there are only 2 small psych wards. There are no beds available and 17 ppl waiting in the ER to get into a bed. So he develops plans B & C. Plan B - I stay at a family member's house til Thursday. Plan C- He involuntarily commits me and I sit in an ER waiting with everyone else. So I call my sister and ask if I can stay with her and her hubbie. She says yes and I avoid the hospital.

So I'm at her house with my dog and her hubbie sleeping on the couch. I do have to be back at the clinic tomorrow morning at 7:30 to try to talk to a doctor. The doc at the ER prescribed me two meds and I've been prescribed different meds by the clinic so I don't know what to take.

I'm just exhausted. Psychology/emotional stuff is stressful and exhausting. Holy cow.

[greentires4me]

so today is like another vacation day all these vacation days and little work makes Laura dull and very bored girl.

Never thought I be this bored

I got up at 1:30pm from rolling around in bed until I wanted out...to get going...

I got to the pharmacy in the heat wave outside in sandals by the time I get home heels are bleeding and in pain from the sandals I should of just wore flip flops

well I am eating a frozen meal because I am too cheap to cook and lazy to cook I am make this place a sauna bed no thanks

now off to throw out my trash.

back again so tired and miserable...I saw good friend yesterday now hes busy today why does he always need to leave me.

Even more miserable I didn't get the job

I'm sick of my life.

About to pay off one of my long-standing debts this Friday, which I'm pretty happy about. I'll have a few months respite where I feel like I have my head above water financially before I have to start paying on my student loan again. It'll be good to be able to save up some money, and maybe even treat myself a little tiny bit here and there. I think I may get a pedicure tomorrow...I'm almost afraid to spend the money, but I've been ashamed to show my feet all summer, they look so bad (and I used to get them all the time, back when I had money to spend). Like my T says, I need to do something to take care of myself...

[blackpearl86]

This marks my third week in bed, I think. Kinda lost track of my days. Too anxious to leave house to officially quit my phd... Too scared to see a shrink... But I know I need help... I pushed everyone away so now I am alone... I hate this.

[kala83]

not such a bad day having a lot of emotional ups and downs. I am still feeling very strong feelings for my two best friends and lately just have no real interest in pursuing dating anyone.

I can't tell if that is due to my attraction to them still or if it is from something entirely different.

Originally Posted by misskeena

Sorry you're not sleeping well, either. I probably would have slept just fine if I would have come home after my shift was supposed to end, last night at 11:30pm instead of this morning at 7:30am. I've been wanting to start to pick up third shift again at this job (this is at my second job) but man...my body just might not be able to hold up to working overnights anymore. Idk if it has to do with the new meds, depression (I'm really surprised that I wasn't able to sleep much at all this morning), or just that I'm older and can't do it like I used to, but I feel like crap.

And the pale skin and huge dark circles under my eyes today are not cute.

Yeah it might be the meds but I doubt it's so much older age, you're young silly.

But you're cute anyway I'm sure

Originally Posted by misskeena

About to pay off one of my long-standing debts this Friday, which I'm pretty happy about. I'll have a few months respite where I feel like I have my head above water financially before I have to start paying on my student loan again. It'll be good to be able to save up some money, and maybe even treat myself a little tiny bit here and there. I think I may get a pedicure tomorrow...I'm almost afraid to spend the money, but I've been ashamed to show my feet all summer, they look so bad (and I used to get them all the time, back when I had money to spend). Like my T says, I need to do something to take care of myself...

Good for you, that you're getting debt paid off! So many of us are in debt I am always happy to hear when people are actually seeing the end of theirs such an accomplishment.

no comment on the pedicure. Can't relate, never really looked at women's feet much

Actually if you noticed, I'm not here very much. Pretty much keeping to myself, isolating a bit. The only kind of conversations I'm having are not real-time, as in chatting and texting and such.

Idk, lately just have an aversion to talking to people.

[Luvmydog]

Got everything moved into our new home last week, and now just powering through the unpacking. Not everything is peachy, but so far, it has been manageable. Still dealing with cyclicle emotions, but that's not really that unusual. One good effect of powering through the unpacking has been that I've actually been getting to sleep. Overall, a decent last couple of days.

[greentires4me]

last night I SI'd then I called the crisis line and had a talk with them next thing I know the cops are here and they are taking me to the hospital...I feel mentally and emotionally drained. I don't feel like going anywhere, but I see my mental health team today at 2pm. So I am chilling out in PJs

[jadedbutterfly]

up and down and left and right...... trying to figure out how to stay "sane" when my daughter comes for an over-night tomorrow. I understand that my "emotion" mind is giving me "sick" messages... freaking me out about tomorrow. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with the heightened emotional state I am in.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Good for you, that you're getting debt paid off! So many of us are in debt I am always happy to hear when people are actually seeing the end of theirs such an accomplishment.

no comment on the pedicure. Can't relate, never really looked at women's feet much

Well, I wish I was seeing an end to mine. I still have a monstrous student loan looming over me. But I think you meant that I see the end of this particular one as an accomplishment and yes...yes I do. Wish I hadn't gotten in debt in the first place, but I made poor choices in the past. C'est la vie.

Pedicures are nice; it's nice to have soft, clean, polished feet.

Got my pedicure today and I feel good; I feel like I finally did something for myself for once. Not that I really go anywhere where I can show off cute, polished toes, but it's nice to know that I've taken care of myself and don't have to hide my icky, cracked, crocodile feet anymore.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Actually if you noticed, I'm not here very much. Pretty much keeping to myself, isolating a bit. The only kind of conversations I'm having are not real-time, as in chatting and texting and such.

Idk, lately just have an aversion to talking to people.

I've noticed that. I've not seen many around that I really "know." I've not been around here too much, either. Been on this thread, and I guess that's about it.

Hope you're doing well, though.

Originally Posted by misskeena

Pedicures are nice; it's nice to have soft, clean, polished feet.

well plus it's probably a nice feeling of being pampered, if only for a short time

Originally Posted by misskeena

I've noticed that. I've not seen many around that I really "know." I've not been around here too much, either. Been on this thread, and I guess that's about it.

Hope you're doing well, though.

I am. thank you