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#651
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Have to write a letter to my dad as a therapy homework assignment. At least I don't have to send it to him, since he's dead. He was abusive physically and emotionally, so writing this is rather painful.
Otherwise I'm waiting for Christmas. I have a little bit of excitement left. ![]() |
![]() Seraphine, shezbut
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#652
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Looking forward to Xmas so that I can see things through my children's eyes for a moment and get out of my stupid head!
__________________
Bi Polar... Borderline... PTSD... Pretty stable for the last four years... Completed lots of therapy... Zoloft for last 15 yrs... Olanzepine and Lamictal most recently... "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you"... Friedrich Nietzsche |
#653
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Ticked off at my GP. While age got me on track to get to the psychologist, and diazepam for the anxiety attacks, I asked for something for sleep, and she gave me efexor. Which says not to take with diazepam. And is for depression. And apparently has as bad side effects as Zoloft. Gaaaah!
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#654
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having a good day and finally getting my Christmas baking done
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() TMac1010
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#655
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Quote:
__________________
Bi Polar... Borderline... PTSD... Pretty stable for the last four years... Completed lots of therapy... Zoloft for last 15 yrs... Olanzepine and Lamictal most recently... "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you"... Friedrich Nietzsche |
#656
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Been feeling like **** the last couple days. I've been having doubts about getting married because I feel like my fiance couldn't be happy with me forever. Sometimes I think I'd be better off on my own, but then I remember how incapable I am of taking care of myself... I don't want him to feel trapped. I think on some level I feel trapped because I know I need him, even though I'd never even consider leaving him because I love him too much. It's a weird feeling, I don't know what to make of it. I think if I keep trying to pull myself together and eventually am able to help more I'll feel a lot better. But I don't know if I'll ever get to that point... and that scares me. I've always wanted to be independent, and now it seems like that's completely impossible. I feel sick with myself. I feel like I try so hard and I have nothing to show for it, and I wonder if I'll ever amount to anything.
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![]() JadeAmethyst, technigal
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#657
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Angry at and frustrated with people. Work. Life. I might give up.
__________________
![]() Be uniquely you, because you are a beautiful person regardless of whatever diagnosis you have. Bipolar Type II with Psychotic Features PTSD with Dissociative Features Borderline Personality Disorder ADD Social Phobia Creative Writer and Artist Genderfluid |
![]() JadeAmethyst
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![]() JadeAmethyst
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#658
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Ah the holidays, somewhat different from most this year. Ok though, and celebrating quietly is a welcome change.
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#659
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TMac, it's like my brain was full of white noise. I couldn't think clearly. It was a real struggle just to get my daughter ready for school, get dinner ready before 9 etc. And vertigo at the slightest things. I even lost all artistic drive. It was hell.
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#660
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Ugh, it is so oppressively hot where I live. Almost 40 Celsius today. I'm not looking forward to January. Not even remotely.
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#661
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Procrastinating baking the last of the cookies for my treat trays that I make for friends. I can't procrastinate much longer as we have new appliances coming tomorrow and have to pull out the old ones and clean.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
#662
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I feel kind of empty. Not bad, but not good either. I feel like I'm just sort of dealing with life and not holding onto any part of it. I cleaned my whole apartment yesterday, and I've been working out every day, both of which normally I'd be very proud of myself for, but right now I really don't care. The only thing I think matters to me at all is that I'm leaving on a week and a half long trip next week. I think I'm just ready for a break from this place. But even that I'm not much looking forward to.
I wonder why I feel this way. |
![]() Seraphine, technigal
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#663
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I'm definitely getting worse. Aggressive. Snippy. If I hurt someone or say something mean I never feel remorse, I'm only scared of disapproval. I can't control the things I say anymore and I'm so scared of myself. I don't know what to do. My intrusive thoughts are getting worse and more disgusting. I'm dissociating during the day. I don't know. I need to get help.
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![]() Door2015
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#664
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Trying to pump myself up for work today. Last day of work this week and I'd better be jolly, dammit.
__________________
![]() Be uniquely you, because you are a beautiful person regardless of whatever diagnosis you have. Bipolar Type II with Psychotic Features PTSD with Dissociative Features Borderline Personality Disorder ADD Social Phobia Creative Writer and Artist Genderfluid |
#665
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So frustrated... Over 2 weeks ago my fiance got a flat tire. He's been waiting on a check to arrive from savings since the day after that in order to get his tires replaced because we don't have money for that right now. In fact, we really don't have much money at all right now, so we've been struggling a lot. He finally called yesterday morning and had another check sent overnight, so it should have arrived today. It didn't. I don't know what is going on, but I can't deal with this on top of everything else. If we don't get that money by Saturday, our trip next week will be ruined because we'll be broke the whole time. And at this rate, his car won't be fixed until after we get back. I'm so stressed that I've been giving myself headaches all day.
**** you, USPS, for probably losing his first check. And **** you, FedEx, for doing I don't even know what with the second one. I am so done with this month. |
![]() Seraphine
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#666
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Hi guys. I was just diagnosed with BPD a couple days ago during a trip to the hospital. Just noticed this thread
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#667
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Hi JessLynn, and welcome.
I spent Christmas with peace and quiet. It's weird not having my daughter around, but she's with her boyfriend's family so she's okay. It was just me and my husband and we were doing our usual stuff. We celebrated yesterday and it was fun. I'm still trying to get some creative mojo going; I dabbled in Photoshop today and hoping to pick up some art books next year. |
#668
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Had a pretty good Christmas, my son only had one big meltdown so that made me happy, full moon and autistic child do not go together very well. I received some nice presents. Everyone liked their presents. It's all good.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
#669
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Been getting sad lately. I can't put my finger on it. It may be the letdown after Christmas, who knows? I just want to take naps and dream of something better.
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#670
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I know what you mean. The holidays have me in a funk too. I'm really mixed up.
Sent from my LG-D852 using Tapatalk |
#671
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Gaining so much from DBT it's finally starting to make ME feel better!
__________________
![]() Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis ![]() |
![]() Anonymous37831, Anonymous59786, Seraphine
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![]() shezbut
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#672
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That is awesome! So glad to hear it. I haven't started DBT yet but I am eager. Glad that it helps.
Sent from my LG-D852 using Tapatalk |
#673
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Hello everyone. Hope that you all had a lovely Christmas.
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![]() shezbut
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![]() Angelique67, shezbut, Unrigged64072835
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#674
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Leaving on my trip in 10 hours. I'm almost aching to get out of here. My mind is racing with anticipation. As a result, I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight.
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![]() Seraphine
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#675
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Other than a moment of anxiety from my perfectionism I've been doing okay. It's definitely a different place to be. Not depressed, anxious, or bored. Just calm.
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