Any thing gained by trauma?

So we all know how trauma hurts us, right? From looking back on it now, was anything gained?
Think about this before you respond, and make sure you are really okay before putting it into words.
Please be careful here with details, so not to trigger anyone.

Although I wish I could have gained it in other ways, I have to say yes there is.

I think traumatic stuff pushed me to the utter edge of what I could reasonably cope with, psychologically and emotionally.

I think I am more empathic to others, have less focus on material possessions and have learned how strong I can be.

Yes I have had help, but I give myself credit for knowing I needed it and sticking with it, despite really difficult times. I have learned things about myself, that I would never have discovered.

Do you think you have gained anything?

Good response.

I think I've noticed that people make mistakes, we are all human capable of them. Don't be so judgmental.

That things that happened are not my fault.

That there are bad people who do bad things, intentional or not.

Bad things happen to good people, your trauma does not define you as a person. Don't let it.

That there are some very sick people around us that need help, does not excuse their behavior.

I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I needed help to work through this.

I didn't realize how hard therapy was and how much work I had to do in this, it's a slow and frustrating. "It's a process, not perfection" by Kati Morton

That some conditions happen a lot earlier than what you might expect, that was a surprise to me.

What avoidance behavior is, my picture should be beside this definition in the DSM.

All therapist are NOT created equal. Must find the right one, with the right skills and training to help. Just with any profession, there are some good ones and not so good ones. Take time to find the right one before a bad one causes more harm.

That's some of the things.

1) Well, it's definitely made me that much more protective over the people I love and morals I carry.

2) Made me more empathetic.

3) I continue to become better and better at reading both body language and between the lines of what someone is saying.

4) Due to living so long without any form of treatment or even being conscious of having PTSD, I became very self-aware (maybe too much so). Many of the tools and tricks I've been offered from therapy, I already learned on my own beforehand and even came up with new techniques.

5) I honestly believe it made me a much better writer. I rarely can speak directly about my traumas and most of the time I can't verbalize anything. So I became invested in literature. I develop characters, imagery and story arc based off of little pieces of what I've been through and how it feels. It's the closest I can get to opening up currently and has been since I was young.

Good points. You do write very well and I'm so glad we have that outlet to communicate. I wish I could talk to my T through emails all the time. I get so anxious when I go into session, sick to my stomach, not sure why except that lack of being able to verbally talk.

I'm glad we can look at the trauma and find that in some ways we are better at some things, I think much wiser on many things. Let's keep fight towards that goal of controlling those memories.

"I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I needed help to work through this"

It's interesting that we see this from different perspectives. Initially, I thought I was weak, but I have survived, so feel there was an inner strength that I previously wasn't aware of. Also I never ask for help, try to be self-sufficient, so actually to recognise that I needed help and to access it, I also see as positive. Taking that risk to trust, despite everything.

For me I don't know if it was trust so much as a resource for me to fix things still. I kind of had an ah ha moment a little while ago and why I can't talk f2f with people like a T. Goes back to childhood and being told to not speak of things going on at home. Because if others knew they would take me away, or even worse get my mom and I killed by my father. Maybe that's why it's easier to write and edit my thoughts than to speak freely.

Yes, also experienced the need for family "secrets" and not being allowed to say anything as it might upset my parents, sitting terrified as my father SH in front of me.

I can relate that it still makes it difficult to talk about things with me T.

Personally I don't think that I gained anything positive from my trauma. I say that because my Mom, who was a very awesome caring woman, would have instilled in me the good things, to care about people, to be empathetic, to do the right thing, and in many ways she did, but not as much as she would have if she hadn't been the victim of horrific spousal abuse.

My brothers and sisters have talked about this several times over the years, especially since both our parents are gone now and we firmly believe that our negative traits and our anxiety were a direct result of our father, while our good traits were a direct result of our Mother. It was the ultimate battle of good vs evil. For the most part the good side won, but the bad has also impacted us all with anxiety issues, anger issues, trust issues, emotional stability. I'm the only one that has ever been in therapy to receive a diagnosis of CPTSD. I'm sure most of my siblings also have it to some degree. My younger sister was put on paxil by an MD years ago for panic attacks but has never seen a therapist.

I think I have more empathy for others..

And I have learned things about myself (and others) that (exactly what Soup said)

Maybe one day I'll share a bit more. I don't know

Some good posts here thanks Trace (and all)

(Family "secrets" to the extreme - pretty messed up )

Sometimes it's just easier to focus on the bad impact of trauma. It's hard to think about anything good coming out of such horrible situations. But the fact that we are all here is a testament that we are stronger than we thought. That we strive to make ourselves better and not cause that type of trauma on anyone else. We know the pain, the emotional hurt, and we can be advocates for others to stop that pattern. Or even be here for others that are hurting because we have been there before. Not that we are any smarter than anyone else, or braver, but we are wiser as people. We still are in pain working on our own path of healing, to keep moving forward, but understanding there will be down times in which we need help still. I've been told that healing is not linear, does not travel in a straight path. More of an up and down wave but that in time the ups and downs come closer together, with less variance. Life can never be an emotional straight line, no good, no bad, we need those changes to grow as people. Now I'm rambling, sorry.

I guess it's hard for me to find anything good about going through trauma,especially since the abuse began at such a young age I don't know what it's like to not ever have been abused.

I don't focus on all the bad unless I've been triggered by something and I do try to stay positive and focus on the good things in life.I try to be a good person and do good things but I feel like it's despite the abuse,not anything I have gained from it.

Also..I can't help but wonder what I could have gained,how different my entire life could have been had I not been abused.

To me,going through trauma isn't the same as going through things that leave a person saying "if I had to do it all over I would do it again because it made me who I am today".

I feel I have lost so much more than I have gained by trauma.Actually,I can't really even think of anything I have 'gained' from it,that word,to me,means something good and positive,yet there's not a single good or positive thing about trauma.Any good or positive for me is not a result of being abused,it's a result of working hard to better myself.

I can relate to this completely. I often wonder how my life would be if my childhood and teenage years hadn't been filled with abuse and witnessing of abuse. I really don't think there is anyway to know, and I also just can't find anything that I've gained from experiencing the trauma that I experienced. I just know deep down, I was meant to be someone different.