[Chrysalis12]

Today, my high school teacher called in my parents citing that something was wrong with my behavior. Even though they think they were helping me, they only made it much much worse. I am stressed right now over college admissions and said some depressing things. That teacher just had to report this to every teacher and counselor and call my parents to a conference. Now, because of that teacher, my counselors think I am a suicidal freak. And all the trust I had slowly built up with my parent is GONE!! After school, my parent yelled at me saying "What is wrong with me? You stupid daughter! Don't you have better things to do then be depressed! Now, your reputation is bad! People are going to see you as a freak!" It hurt. It still hurts. I'm crying as I write this. And It hurts so much. I don't know how things are going to be anymore. I don't even want to go back to school, but I have to.

[Leed]

I'm so sorry. Your parents shouldn't have yelled at your over the fact that you're depressed! For heavens sakes, that only makes it worse! I should think they would realize that.

Your teacher must have been really upset at what you said, honey. You must have said something fairly shocking to get her that alarmed that she felt she had to report it to the counselor. They do this ONLY to protect the student, honey, NOT to start problems. There have been TOO MANY suicides in school kids and they're trying to nip this in the bud before the kids go thru with it. They're hoping if they catch things early, that the kids will get counseling & therapy and the problem will be taken care of. It's NOT to cause problems at home.

What happened to you is really unfortunate. Some parents just don't understand. Some parents just aren't educated enough to know that some kids need counseling & therapy instead of being yelled at! Yelling at a kid that's depressed is certainly not doing any good -- it's not going to make the depression go away! It's making the depression worse, and causing the child to lose hope and resent the parents.

I doubt now that you'd want to ask your parents for any counseling, right? Or do you think that you could? You really need therapy, sweetie. You need to talk to a professional that deals with depressive teens. I know you're probably mad at your folks right now, but give it a try -- see if you can talk to them CALMLY and ask them for some counseling. Sometimes attitude can make a big difference. If you're calm & nice, you just might get what you ask for. I wish you the very best. Let us know what happens, ok? God bless sweetie, and please take care. And don't worry about school. The kids don't know what went on. Hugs, Lee

[Thunder Bow]

What your Partent said has more to do with their problems than your problem. Understand what was said to you realy has Nothing to do with you personaly or how you feel. They are scared of how all this reflects on them. Over reacting as they did was much worse than anything you might have said in class. Dont take the remarks personaly, for they have nothing to do with you.

Having feelings Do Not make you a "Freak".

The Teacher should have been more disscrete with the situation and not blabber it to everyone the way she/he did. That teacher is in error.

[layla11]

Hi, I was getting ready to say the same thing that Thunder Bow said about your parents reaction. They are scared and reacting with anger and fear. Good grief, you need support and it would have been nice to get it from your parents. Stick around here and you will find support and answers.

[IceCreamKid]

Now go back to school and report what your parents did: shouted at you and called you names. Tell those teachers if they really want to help you, they will help you with the abuse you are getting at home.

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm so sorry. Your parents shouldn't have yelled at your over the fact that you're depressed! For heavens sakes, that only makes it worse! I should think they would realize that.

Your teacher must have been really upset at what you said, honey. You must have said something fairly shocking to get her that alarmed that she felt she had to report it to the counselor. They do this ONLY to protect the student, honey, NOT to start problems. There have been TOO MANY suicides in school kids and they're trying to nip this in the bud before the kids go thru with it. They're hoping if they catch things early, that the kids will get counseling & therapy and the problem will be taken care of. It's NOT to cause problems at home.

What happened to you is really unfortunate. Some parents just don't understand. Some parents just aren't educated enough to know that some kids need counseling & therapy instead of being yelled at! Yelling at a kid that's depressed is certainly not doing any good -- it's not going to make the depression go away! It's making the depression worse, and causing the child to lose hope and resent the parents.

I doubt now that you'd want to ask your parents for any counseling, right? Or do you think that you could? You really need therapy, sweetie. You need to talk to a professional that deals with depressive teens. I know you're probably mad at your folks right now, but give it a try -- see if you can talk to them CALMLY and ask them for some counseling. Sometimes attitude can make a big difference. If you're calm & nice, you just might get what you ask for. I wish you the very best. Let us know what happens, ok? God bless sweetie, and please take care. And don't worry about school. The kids don't know what went on. Hugs, Lee

It's been a while, and much has happened. I've been slowly improving, and my parents have forgiven me and tell me they love me. I've been studying and reading to forget everything. Ever since my teacher called my parents to school, I've been trying to act super cheerful so that something like this will never happen again. My depression will remain inside, I just cannot let it show. As long as I act happy, everyone is happy.
But you were right, most of my classmates have no idea what went on, and I am extremely relieved.
I am very thankful for your advice and good intentions, but I just cannot let everyone down now by asking for therapy. I just have to bear it.

[Thunder Bow]

Trying to Please others is a sure way of enhanceing Depression!

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Trying to Please others is a sure way of enhanceing Depression!

I know, but I can't be happy if everyone is miserable because of me.

[Bill3]

I can't be happy if everyone is miserable because of me.

In family therapy there is the term "the named patient". This is the family member who is perceived within the family to be the cause of whatever problems the family is experiencing.

A major purpose of family therapy is to bring to awareness the fact that many problems are family problems, not problems with one person.

It is wrong for others to blame you and be "miserable" if you seek treatment for depression.

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by Bill3

In family therapy there is the term "the named patient". This is the family member who is perceived within the family to be the cause of whatever problems the family is experiencing.

A major purpose of family therapy is to bring to awareness the fact that many problems are family problems, not problems with one person.

It is wrong for others to blame you and be "miserable" if you seek treatment for depression.

I understand that. My family treats me very well, and I really have no complaints. I am convinced that I am the problem. And if I cannot overcome myself on my own, then there's no help for me. I cannot let everyone down again. The feelings I have when I disappoint someone hurt me a lot.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

I understand that. My family treats me very well, and I really have no complaints. I am convinced that I am the problem. And if I cannot overcome myself on my own, then there's no help for me. I cannot let everyone down again. The feelings I have when I disappoint someone hurt me a lot.

This is the kind of delusions I was going through when I was a teenager. When I was in high school and my guidance counselor thought I was depressed, my mother immediately told me he was ridiculous. I blamed myself for everything I was feeling and pretended that I didn't have a problem. That led to the next 20 years of psychiatric hospitals, drinking, severe depression, and a lot of emotional stress. Being 32 now, I wish I had addressed these issues in high school. I think we are all trying to save you from future pain, ignoring the problem doesn't mean it will go away.

[Chrysalis12]

Progress report:

Well, recently I have been painting a lot. As a child, I used to love anything related to art. I would draw for hours and be the happiest kid in the world. But ever since middle school began, I lost the happiness I found in drawing. Perhaps, I became too obsessed with pleasing everyone around me: my teachers, my peers, and my family. Although, I did find solace in chemistry and physics, I felt empty.
I felt full of emptiness. That's a paradoxical phrase, but it's true. Praise began to lose it's impact on me. Because every compliment people give me is a lie. I know they are just saying that to be nice. I know what they really think about me. They all believe I am a failure. So their compliments hurt me.
So, now I am painting. I don't know what I feel now. But, I am searching for that innocent joy I felt a long time ago.

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

This is the kind of delusions I was going through when I was a teenager. When I was in high school and my guidance counselor thought I was depressed, my mother immediately told me he was ridiculous. I blamed myself for everything I was feeling and pretended that I didn't have a problem. That led to the next 20 years of psychiatric hospitals, drinking, severe depression, and a lot of emotional stress. Being 32 now, I wish I had addressed these issues in high school. I think we are all trying to save you from future pain, ignoring the problem doesn't mean it will go away.

My parents also told the counselor that the teacher just heard incorrectly. I tried my best to play along because I didn't want to cause more trouble than I already did. Thank you, I am grateful for all the care and help I have received here. But, why is it so hard? No matter how many times I tell myself that I am being delusional, I still don't feel at peace.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

My parents also told the counselor that the teacher just heard incorrectly. I tried my best to play along because I didn't want to cause more trouble than I already did. Thank you, I am grateful for all the care and help I have received here. But, why is it so hard? No matter how many times I tell myself that I am being delusional, I still don't feel at peace.

I did the same thing! Telling yourself that you're delusional is not right, I was wrong for saying that. I was saying I was delusional because I chose to ignore it, and go along with it. That may be what you are doing now in a sense, but its not too late. You will find peace. I am so glad that you are painting! I wish I was involved in something constructive like that when I was your age. Don't be so hard on yourself though. It doesn't matter what other people think your painting looks like, its YOUR expression and it has to mean something to YOU. Who knows you could be the next Da Vinci or Picasso! I know they were not appreciated in their time and they were very depressed too. But out of their depression came the art and I am glad you are expressing yourself, and best of all posting here!

As for why it is so hard? I don't know. It is still hard for me and it has been so many years battling bipolar. All we can do is be there for each other, and find comfort in knowing we are not alone and try and work through things together.

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

I did the same thing! Telling yourself that you're delusional is not right, I was wrong for saying that. I was saying I was delusional because I chose to ignore it, and go along with it. That may be what you are doing now in a sense, but its not too late. You will find peace. I am so glad that you are painting! I wish I was involved in something constructive like that when I was your age. Don't be so hard on yourself though. It doesn't matter what other people think your painting looks like, its YOUR expression and it has to mean something to YOU. Who knows you could be the next Da Vinci or Picasso! I know they were not appreciated in their time and they were very depressed too. But out of their depression came the art and I am glad you are expressing yourself, and best of all posting here!

As for why it is so hard? I don't know. It is still hard for me and it has been so many years battling bipolar. All we can do is be there for each other, and find comfort in knowing we are not alone and try and work through things together.

I am also very happy I started posting here too! I know that this is my life, and from art history I know that there were many artists who experienced similar emotions to mine. However, sometimes I feel that my life does not belong to me because every person I love owns a part of me. Their words and actions feel like they are my own. So when they are disappointed, I am disappointed. But it's strange. Because when they are happy, I feel nothing whatsoever. Did you feel that way too?
However, it is comforting to know that I can come here for advice. And I am trying to regain ownership of my life and expressions. It's not easy though.

[Chrysalis12]

I painted a picture

It's not good. It's sloppy. But, it conveys what I want to feel. I want to feel at peace. Serenity is the theme of this painting.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

I am also very happy I started posting here too! I know that this is my life, and from art history I know that there were many artists who experienced similar emotions to mine. However, sometimes I feel that my life does not belong to me because every person I love owns a part of me. Their words and actions feel like they are my own. So when they are disappointed, I am disappointed. But it's strange. Because when they are happy, I feel nothing whatsoever. Did you feel that way too?
However, it is comforting to know that I can come here for advice. And I am trying to regain ownership of my life and expressions. It's not easy though.

You know quite honestly, I was trying to please people. Trying to be a beautiful image that everyone wanted me to be. I never thought or felt for myself. I had no sense of "self". Is that what you're going through? Because that's what it sounds like and I can totally relate to it. You are very creative, and I think you should continue with your writing and your art to find out who YOU are. I never really found myself, but I know WHO I am. I am someone who likes staying home, having a drink sometimes with friends, spending time with my boyfriend, and trying my best to be the best employee to my boss. I am no longer trying to "be" anything for anybody. I am just me. And you should be you.

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

You know quite honestly, I was trying to please people. Trying to be a beautiful image that everyone wanted me to be. I never thought or felt for myself. I had no sense of "self". Is that what you're going through? Because that's what it sounds like and I can totally relate to it. You are very creative, and I think you should continue with your writing and your art to find out who YOU are. I never really found myself, but I know WHO I am. I am someone who likes staying home, having a drink sometimes with friends, spending time with my boyfriend, and trying my best to be the best employee to my boss. I am no longer trying to "be" anything for anybody. I am just me. And you should be you.

I am trying really hard to please everyone around me. It's as if people are mirrors, and what I see reflected from them determines my concept of "self." I am always comparing myself to those my parents, teachers, and friends consider perfect. And I always fail. I am hopeless because I am not good at anything. Even if I attempt to ameliorate myself, I am just not good enough. I am afraid to find out who I am because what if my true self is a failure? Well, maybe sleep will help me. Sweet dreams and good night.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

I painted a picture

It's not good. It's sloppy. But, it conveys what I want to feel. I want to feel at peace. Serenity is the theme of this painting.

This is one of the most beautiful paintings I have ever seen! I could never paint like this or do anything remotely close. I understand you feeling like a failure. But you are totally not!

I have always felt not good enough. Not even remotely close to good enough. You can find who you are though, you can do it by trying to be yourself like you are doing through your art which is amazing!

You can be YOU by doing what you love to do. That's where I found my peace. In doing what I love and smiling every day. And I don't do anything magical or amazing. I am just here on PC or watching tv in my room. But I find joy in that even. Just find joy in what you love doing and you will find yourself and not feel like a total failure.

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

I painted a picture

It's not good. It's sloppy. But, it conveys what I want to feel. I want to feel at peace. Serenity is the theme of this painting.

Wow, this is gorgeous! You should post it in the Creative Corner on PC so everyone can admire it, it is inspiring my friend, you have talent!

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis12

I painted a picture

It's not good. It's sloppy. But, it conveys what I want to feel. I want to feel at peace. Serenity is the theme of this painting.

OMG, that is awsome, you have soooo much talent, it's not messy at all. You are an artist and should pursue the arts, seriously. I love the composition, the colors, everything. That is the kind of art that I can see in someones home on the wall, "someone wealthy" who appreciates art collecting.

Open Eyes

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

OMG, that is awsome, you have soooo much talent, it's not messy at all. You are an artist and should pursue the arts, seriously. I love the composition, the colors, everything. That is the kind of art that I can see in someones home on the wall, "someone wealthy" who appreciates art collecting.

Open Eyes

Thank you Open Eyes! I usually get a lot of criticism from my art teacher, and I have little confidence in myself. But I really do love art, and I want to improve in it. Again thank you, your compliments made my awful day a lot better.

[Chrysalis12]

Today was an extremely stressful day back to high school. I received homework in every class, and I am extremely stressed out about this Thursday. This Thursday, my coach notified me that I am participating in a science competition, and I am not ready. I'm so scared of letting everyone down! I don't want everyone to abhor and hate me! I'm so scared! And on top of all this, I need to complete 12 pieces of art in 2 weeks. I feel so overwhelmed!!

[Open Eyes]

Chrysalis,

Hun, you can't let yourself keep feeling as though you are going to let others down.
You have to learn to allow yourself to be happy and just do the best you can. You have time to pull something together for that Science experiment. I think you may be "adding much of the pressure you have on yourself" yourself. You have to slow down and understand that none of us can make "everyone happy" that is just so impossible.
You have to realize that all you can do is the best you can, and if someone is unhappy, well, that is "their problem" not yours. Learn that now and you will save yourself so much grief. I have been there myself and I just finally realized that it is not my responsiblity to make "everyone happy".

I don't understand why your art teacher is giving you a "hard time" either. I am wondering if you are not understanding "constructive criticism", which basically means someone can see your talent and tries to help you "expand on it". It can take time to understand that, especially with art because it is such a personal form of expression.

I think you are "very sensitive" and you just need some time to toughin up a little.
Very "creative people" can be "very sensitive", in fact many of the greats were very sensitive people. But I can tell you, you definitely have "talent", if I was an art teacher I would be very "excited" about your work.

Just make sure you keep trying to take the pressure off of yourself. You have lots of growing to do, and a talent that deserves to grow and flourish. So ease up on yourself, practice good "self care" which means to make sure you are not hard on yourself, but "caring" instead.

((((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[Chrysalis12]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Chrysalis,

Hun, you can't let yourself keep feeling as though you are going to let others down.
You have to learn to allow yourself to be happy and just do the best you can. You have time to pull something together for that Science experiment. I think you may be "adding much of the pressure you have on yourself" yourself. You have to slow down and understand that none of us can make "everyone happy" that is just so impossible.
You have to realize that all you can do is the best you can, and if someone is unhappy, well, that is "their problem" not yours. Learn that now and you will save yourself so much grief. I have been there myself and I just finally realized that it is not my responsiblity to make "everyone happy".

I don't understand why your art teacher is giving you a "hard time" either. I am wondering if you are not understanding "constructive criticism", which basically means someone can see your talent and tries to help you "expand on it". It can take time to understand that, especially with art because it is such a personal form of expression.

I think you are "very sensitive" and you just need some time to toughin up a little.
Very "creative people" can be "very sensitive", in fact many of the greats were very sensitive people. But I can tell you, you definitely have "talent", if I was an art teacher I would be very "excited" about your work.

Just make sure you keep trying to take the pressure off of yourself. You have lots of growing to do, and a talent that deserves to grow and flourish. So ease up on yourself, practice good "self care" which means to make sure you are not hard on yourself, but "caring" instead.

((((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

Open Eyes,
I know I can't make "everyone happy," but I don't know how to live any other way. Everyone always told me to challenge myself as much as I can. Then, when I accomplished it, they would be proud of me. It was and still is an amazing feeling to feel like I have a purpose, that there is some merit to my existence. However, I feel exhausted now. And I feel like I am failing everything, and my world is disintegrating in front of my eyes.

As with my art teacher, I just feel that he either criticizes my work or gives no feedback at all. Whenever I show him my work, he will just say "looks good" while staring at his computer screen. I want to improve, and I can handle criticism when I know it will help me mature as an artist. However, my teacher just seems apathetic. I still have such a long journey to becoming a true artist, and there is no map. Just like life.

By the way, you must be very intuitive to point out that I am "very sensitive." All my closest friends and family members have always told me that a major weakness of mine was my sensitivity. Even the slightest words and actions could create lacerations in my soul. I cannot stand it. I don't want to be this weak.

And, this is a bit off topic, but I don't think I know how to build relationships anymore. Because, I feel that people only value me if I succeed. The moment I fail, they have the right to dispose me, like garbage. How can I really trust anyone, knowing that it is inevitable that they will abandon me? So I always keep an emotional distance between myself and others. Plus, I really like a person now, however, I can't be honest. Instead of being open with him, I just shun him. I don't know the words to say, and I always feel that I need to lose weight, be more attractive, be more intelligent, and accomplish more to even have the right to be around him. Even though, internally, I know that he did not ask me for any of this, and that he wants me to stop being so hard on myself (But he's nice to everyone so I am just another annoyance he has to tolerate).