Extreme hypersensitivity

I am VERY hypersensitive lately. Anything remotely negative anyone has said has stuck with me and I cannot stop thinking about it. I was bullied last week by a member of senior management at my work and everyone I told said- oh well that is just how she is (the VP). It has me dreading going into work tomorrow though. I need to learn how to stick up for myself but cannot. As soon as someone says something my lips quiver and I start crying. I cry thinking about it.

It also goes for family members, my boyfriend, members of his family. People say things they won't think about again but I cannot stop. I am very sad, angry, and resentful because of it.

Any tips on hypersensitivity? Or how I can cry at the drop of a hat. I immediately cry about everything.

........

Hello cremedelacreme: I've always also been a very sensitive person. I will ruminate about something someone said, or did, all day & often into the next & beyond. I have no tolerance for argument or disagreement. I don't know why this is the case. It's just the way I've always been. It is one of the reasons I now just keep to myself as much as possible.

One thing that has seemed to help a little bit recently is to simply allow myself to ruminate over things as much as my brain seems to want to. Where previously I would have tried to divert my mind elsewhere, & curse my inability to let go, recently I've begun to say... okay just do it... ruminate as much as you want, brain... I don't care...

As for the quivering lips & crying, I don't know what to suggest. I get really strong heart palpitations at the drop of a hat, as they say. There's no way to prevent it or stop it (other than to leave the situation.) Perhaps some therapy of one sort or another might help. I don't know if such therapies as DBT or CBT deal with this sort of thing.

Thank you! We sound very similar

I too really struggle with so many words and feelings. It is very hard to get stopped once started. Hard to gain control. You can't fix everything that is for sure. I do try to distract myself but the pain keeps coming up. There is a root to this somewhere in our strivings in childhood. Accepting somehow that life is not always the way I would like it to be.

I struggle with similar issues. I try to remind myself to give people the benefit of the doubt, to assume that I misinterpreted what was said or that they were just in a bad mood, to remember that it is more about them than it is about me.

It really is hard to stop this rumination. I hope work goes okay and that you can figure out some way of protecting yourself from that nasty VP. A lot of bullies really will move on to a new victim if you let them know you won't tolerate their behavior, but it can be hard to do that with your boss...

Before you react (crying), you need to process what was said.

How about not processing for several days what people tell you?

This doesn't apply to your job, things that you usually do and what you might be asked to do, some activities are familiar to you, you know which activities and what to expect on average, right?

You go like:
-Hi CDC.
-Hi LFD.
-How's going?
-Fine, thanks.
-See ya later.
-Bye-bye.

Simplicity until you are calm enough to start engaging in more complicated interactions again.

Is this something that you just discovered or is it something that has been off/on for a period of time? It's strange when you discover something like that about yourself - it's an odd feeling but also positive because it means that you're developing and maturing and more introspective about yourself. Hypersensitivity can be a liability and lead to over-internalizing. Hope you get a handle on it. It's a horrible feeling.

Yes, I have tips!

This used to happen to me constantly, but recently, I feel that I have figured it out what is happening and what to do about it too. Very often when someone is depressed, they will also be hyper-hyper sensitive to criticism or praise. If someone says something insulting to you, it will "stick". It will come up in your mind again and again and again and again and again and again and again. It will happen compulsively. Notice that this is almost exactly the same thing as "holding a grudge." If someone is holding grudges, I think that's a very strong indication of depression.

The insight that I only recently had about what to do about it is this: The true source of your problem is not the person who bullied you or even the particular thoughts or feelings you have about being bullied. The true underlying problem is that you are having thoughts and feelings in general in a compulsive, uncontrolled manner without DECIDING to have those thoughts and feelings. The particular feelings, thoughts and the people involved are incidental. It doesn't even matter if they are accurate thoughts or justified feelings.

This is all my opinion, but I really think I'm right about this and I really think I know what to do about it too. What to do about it is described here

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

That sounds very familiar. A few friends I know deal with very similar things and what's difficult is it isn't just one situation, it can keep coming or be very consistent. I would recommend talking to somebody who is professional in these situations to really help understand what your mind is going through, or a friend who can really listen to you vent. Or perhaps a journal to record thoughts, memories and feelings.

Another thing I want to add- this definitely does apply to me when it comes to things I don't agree with. It may not be an attack to me personally but something I feel strongly about or something I just don't feel is "right" in my opinion, and that can definitely relate to those similar feelings.

Can relate. I also have strong emotions. Long memory of emotions. What helped me was what a blessed spiritual being, Ardella Heckt taught me I was living in Arizona. It's called the "I feel process". Feel your emotion fully, then name it, sadness, fear, confusion, as soon as you can really feel it say "I surrender my fear to the spirit of god within" . or sadness or anger

I deal with the same thing and I get hurt very easily and take things the wrong way. Then I read into something someone says or emails and I dwell on it for hours or days. Stew in anger, etc.

Friday morning a coworker sent an email and I probably took it the wrong way. By the time my anxiety kicked in and I was a basket case. I was convinced nonE of my coworkers liked me and that they are all talking behind my back. I could not sleep a wink Friday night.

Finally after very little sleep I took a shower and had a good cry. Then I told myself...who cares if they don't like you! They were not up all night thinking about me and they are busy with their own lives. I give people way too much control over my emotions and my life.

I have decided to look for employment elsewhere because of other issues. I'm fed up with their stupid games.

I oversentitive my feelings too, i have to tell myself not to let others get me down, mainly because if they are so bent on making another feel so bad they must be feeling worse about themselves

When things get to me, I write down exactly what happened and how I feel about it in a diary, well, on a word processor on my tablet. Just let rip with no hanging back. Then no one gets hurt, and I don't have to apologise to anyone for going over the top, which I have been known to do.

It seems that sensitive people make ideal victims. Easy targets for those who can dump on others with no feeling of guilt about their behaviour. Perhaps we could learn from them how to have a thicker skin! Our problem is we care too much. Their problem is they don't care at all.

Wow thank you everyone for the support! I wasn't getting email notifications of the thread but pleasantly found them all here now. Journaling and documenting does seem to be a good way to get out the anger. I think I may try that path as well as seek some professional help.

A diary works to help you cope with the immediate problem, but to get at the root of your feelings, your hypersensitivity and anger, working with a therapist may help to find longer term solutions. Good luck.

This. This so much. It sounds so childish and immature, but I hate it when somebody doesn't like anything that I like.

Last year at college, somebody was playing music on their phone for the whole group to hear, so I thought "Maybe I should play one of my songs. Sure, why not?" So I played Schubert's Ave Maria. Almost immediately as soon as the woman started singing a boy said "That's a bit cheesy" in a barely-restrained-from-laughing voice. I felt like crying, and it still hurts.

So I can relate to people who are sensitive to harsh words, criticism, disagreement, etc. very well.

I read 3 different books by 3 different authors,who
ALL agreed that in western cultures and some others,that 80%,yes 80%,of population are . . . . .
lunatics! And I think I've MET THEM ALL!!!!!

Yes, and the other 20% just haven't been found out yet!

Cremedelacreme, there are a lot of us like you out here! I'm hypersensitive, care too much, and to my recent discovery, very OCD about it all! A therapist I saw recently subscribed that I practice grounding when these situations arise - practice when triggered. I'm not good at practicing because I think I have ADD and simply forget, but when I have tried to do it in the face of being triggered, it has helped me move on....Here's a description:

https://www.e-tmf.org/downloads/Grou...Techniques.pdf

Me too. Recently I got very anxious and affected by a quarrel and conflict that happened in my country's support group although I wasn't involved.
It affected me to an extent where I had a relapse of depression and anxiety. I kept thinking, overthinking, got myself worked up over the behavior of those whom I know.
Now I can't eat, got upset over the slightest bit of things and had a bad relapse. It almost seemed like my mind wanted to dwell over anything that triggers a relapse.
Why do I care so much about others, why do I let it affect me to this extent ....
Seriously I hate myself for being so sensitive.