How are you coping today? #3

I'm doing housework today. It's causing some pain, but I'm coping by taking frequent breaks. I'm also being proactive. Since I'm vaccinated now, I decided I would finally see the back doctor. I have an appointment in two weeks. I'll be at least 50% protected by then.

I'm doing okay. Very busy at work but I seem to be coping okay with it.

I’m coping well. I’m eating enough and eating healthy stuff. I’m not having real bad anxiety or mood swings today. I only took my prescribed 2 mil of Xanax today. My depression sucks and on the inside I’m hurting. But this moving process has been tough on everyone in my family. My mom says she is the least concerned about how I’ll handle it so I guess I just have to prove that she doesn’t need to worry about me.

I'm ok today. Just anxiety making me breath hard as always, but I worked for 11 hours and did a good job. I didn't pressure myself while working and all worked out up to the point I had planned (though I hadn't planned the hours). I didn't study though, which I should have, but I felt like working and it was good.

I also ordered pizza and salad for lunch, so I didn't have to do anything else

I'm feeling weird. I'm actually somewhat calm, but fear I'm dying. Not sure how to interpret the calmness. My parents died young and I'm the same age when my dad died. That I was getting close has freaked me out for the last decade. My mom was sick and away a lot when I was a kid, so health anxiety has been with me a long time. Fortunately, she lived longer than my dad, so now I can worry about getting to her age. Whoo.

Coping okay. I volunteered today and I was also really tired and had a headache for part of the day. I ended up calling my therapist and came up with a plan for that. Doing better physically now. Eating dinner and listening to music.

I'm doing great. I feel fine. I went out and ate then returned. Afterwards, I went shopping. I feel decent.

I'm not doing well today. I lost my temper with a difficult shopper. He decided to refund items instead of trying to find replacements. I'm under a lot of stress today. My cat is sick and I have to take her to the emergency vet. I have chores that are piling up as well. Today is frustrating.

I'm better today. I only got about 3 hours of sleep then was awake for 3 then finally got another 2 maybe. So, not great sleep, but not terribly tired. I'm listening to music which always calms me, but I haven't listened to in 4-5 days. Had a slightly bigger breakfast and lunch than the last few days as well. Hunger stresses the body, so it's good to have a little more today. It was cold on the walk with the pups that I just got back from, but there is sunshine which is always nice. My heart tends to pound, or maybe I just notice it more, when I'm tired and hungry and anxious, but today it's behaved mostly. Or maybe it's that I am paying attention to other things. Health anxiety sucks. Anyway, better today.

I don’t think I’m coping very well today. I feel so wasted and hungover as a result of trying to fix my messed up sleep schedule. I haven’t had a good day in a long time. I feel really woozy and I wonder if I should do something about it. Although I’ll probably just be told to go IP. So it’s probably best to just sleep it off.

I can't anymore

Its an ice cream and pie kind of day lol.

Not coping well these last few months. My primary support system is reliable but has its set-backs. My secondary and tertiary support systems are not very supportive.

I coped ok today.

I'm trying to do my best. I am having a hard time emotionally today. I'm journaling mostly to cope.

I'm feeling great! I could not be better!! I feel blessed.

I started listening to some self help video and using the tools. I am learning in the video. Which is helping me cope with my depression, anxiety, abandonment, codependency.

I was just kind of thrown a lot of stuff today. I’m moving and there’s a bunch of showings that came on very suddenly all at once. I have to be out of the house all day and then I’m going out to dinner for the first time since early March 2020. I’m crashed at my aunts place for right now. Been here since about 11. But I am coping incredibly well given the fact that I had to get up and take a shower in under an hour and be out of my house all day with basically no notice.

Struggling a little today. I finally got a good-ish night's sleep after 7-10 days of poor sleep. I am also almost back to normal in my eating which is nice. I've been so hungry. Today has been colder and we got snow, but we just got back from a walk and at least the sun is shining now. All of that should be reason to have a better day, but I'm not really. I now have to contend with actually doing some thinking and making some decisions about the future and what, at the very least, are my next steps. But I feel so full of self doubt. Like I'm just not good enough for the world, even though I have lots of life experiences to refute that. I've accomplished plenty. Why am I having such a hard time believing that it will get better? I've been stuck in this spot for over a year, maybe 2. I just don't seem to be moving. In any direction. Very frustrating, because it's not circumstances keeping me stuck. It's me keeping me stuck. I know many of the things I need to do to get going, and I just can't do them. As I said it's been like this for a long time. Why do I just feel so powerless to take action?

I had a good day, I met a friend in the park for a picnic, it was really nice.

I've got some time off work and thinking about what I can do, I want to improve my organisation skills and get the jobs done around the home I need to. I won't get them all done but I'm going to aim to get some of them done.

I'm doing ok today, but very sleepy.
Last night only slept a couple hours. I got criticized here at home when I was minding my own business. Then I was up most of the night due to frustration. So tonight, will try to go to bed early.

I'm isolating and trying to keep my interactions with others limited. Although many are pushing to return to normalcy, I think I need to keep in hibernation for a while longer.

IMO it is normal to occasionally have arguments when you are married. I am not the perfect wife but I now am better able to hold onto my own reality and truth. There are things I need to apologize for but I also no longer allow others to blame me or claim things to be true that I know are not. God has eased my internal confusion.

I am not crying and having meltdowns anymore! On no more psych meds of any kind, I see others’ actions for what they are. It’s them, not me, and I get away from them and don’t melt down! . I’m taking it day to day. My bad living situation will change soon when I can truly get away from the toxic relationship that just can’t be compatible. It’s heartbreaking, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Had another fairly good night of sleep, but still feeling less than... normal. I need to cook for myself today, at the very least, and I just don't want to. I can continue to eat oatmeal and carrots and fruit. Again, I just don't know why I can't take even the small, simple steps to move forward. I know with 100% certainty (because of lots of experience) that when I take just a few small actions each day, my day is better. But for the last week or 10 days I haven't been able to.

I went out for lunch with my one friend in the world, a couple of weeks ago. After that wonderful conversation I was feeling really hopeful about the future and taking some actions to move forward. Then 2 days later my anxiety spiked like it never has before. I can only think that it was trying to tell me that what I was thinking was dangerous, because that's what anxiety does, keep me safe. But how am I ever going to move forward if I stay stuck in place? I'm not. Why does my anxiety hate me so much? It's role is to keep me safe, but it pushes me closer to wanting to end my life. How is that safer?

I know the best course of action is to take some small, basic steps each day. Dishes, cook, do laundry, make the bed, etc. And then maybe one slightly scary action each week. Apply for jobs, go TO the grocery store, go TO the library, etc. But I'm even struggling to do the things that are in no way dangerous. How is cooking or doing dishes dangerous? Frustrating.