[jessiejames]

My "boyfriend" broke up with me a few weeks ago, but I can't seem to get over it. It still hurts so much, especially since he broke up with me right after we slept together for the first time (he was also my first). His excuse was that he couldn't make me a priority in his life since there were other more important things like his job, his music, friends etc. He also called me a ***** and told me that I had an attitude problem when I got upset about his statements. I have never felt so horrible in my entire life and I can't get over the feeling that it was all my fault, that if I had been different maybe he would have loved me more. This is one in a series of bad relationships that I have had and I am seriously beginning to think that there is something wrong with me, and that I am not enough for someone to love me. There are times when I just start crying for no reason and I feel so empty. I don't know what to do to make this emptiness go away and there is no one I can talk to.

[LadyDragus]

I do not think it could all be your fault..

Sometimes men get "cold feet" after they sleep with a female, and run, you just have to see the good side.. His loss not truly yours, unless you really loved him..

Chanig your attudie is only somethign you can even see, you have to ask yourslef why did he say that?
Why did he do this to me?
and then ask did I like being me, when I was with him? and you answer no to the last one, then you are better off without him

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

[tiredashell]

You aren't alone. You sound just like I used to. That's exactly what I used to think everytime something would happen in a relationship. I am happily married now. Something I thought would never happen for me. Just don't try to hard and you will find the right man for you. I found my hubby when I was least expecting it. I always thought something was wrong with me too. Especially in high school. I didn't have my first bf until late in my 10th grade year. Just don't push to hard and the right man will find you. Remember, it's not your fault even though men try to make you think it is. Hang in there. It will get better!!
tiredashell

[bunny44]

'the first time' is a big deal---it shouldn't be. what happened to me was total fear of being not ready for parenting. this may 'cold-foot' men. also, men may fear being 'in-love'. it's risky. there's almost certainly no reason to blame yourself for anything worse than youth---which will be your best ally. if he's the right one, he'll come back. if not---you can do better.

pirate

[Duchess]

A broken heart can be easily replaced and fixed.
Don't worry about him he's a looser and i don't believe he deserved you.
Hi sweetie I'm Duchess,This is my first time here.there are gonna be plenty of guys in your life most of them are gonna be assholes but you'll Know when the right one comes around. tell him to take his priorites and shove them you know where

[jessiejames]

Thanks for the kind words Duchess I am mending slowly but surely. The pain grows less and less every day and I don't feel so horrible anymore. There are moments when certain memories and thoughts come rushing back, but I just try to keep busy and they eventually go away again. I am now learning to love myself again. That's the key right? I guess talking about it helped a lot. Now the ultimate test would be to run into him somewhere. I just hope that that doesn't happen in the near future.

[Duchess]

Don't think about running into him.
Just Know that what he lost he could never replace
another man's Trash is Another mans TREASURES!!!
And YES It's all about YOU and Loving YOU!!!

ABOUT THE NINTH HOUR JESUS CRIED OUT IN A LOAD VOICE, "ELOI,ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?"~WHICH MEANS~"MY GOD, MYGOD,WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"
~MATTHEW27:46.
MY GOD,MYGOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?WHY ARE YOU SO FAR FROM SAVING ME,SO FAR FROM THE WORDS OF MY GROANING?~ PSALM 22:1

[nzgal]

Hi JessieJames,
I recently broke up with my bf too and I can all to well relate to how memories come rushing back etc, whats worse with mine is that he still calls me etc and thinks its all fine, it would almost be easier if i cut contact with him but his family like me to much to let me do that and i couldnt do that to them. He reckons he is hurting too but if he was why did he get "cold feet" after 7 months?

I recently read this article in a magazine, diary of a break up, and everything was exactly what I was going through, ur not alone girl and I really understand how miserable you feel at time, I came online tonight cause he called me and i couldnt get back to sleep.

Doesn't it suck how people effect us so much?

I think it is HIM with the problem and theres nothing you could have done, I always wonderd the same thing, if I was different would he have loved me more, but ya can't change things I know.

I know everyone says things will be ok, but they will, its just hard to believe that at the start and its ok if u dont believe me, but I bet ur a georgous girl whos so much better than him

Kim xxx

You only have ONE chance to make a first impression, Kia Kaha

[Sherry52]

Welcome to the group. I'm pretty new here myself. Your situation sounds like one that happened to me a very long time ago. I was absolutely devastated at the time and felt as if my world had fallen apart. Today, I look back on that time, and I can hardly remember the pain of that relationship.

My best advice to you right now is try to find yourself in the absence of having a man in your life. Be happy with yourself and really get to know who you are and what you like to do. You are a very special person and you really don't need a man to make you complete. You are already complete.

Follow the advice of the others who have stated that when you least expect it, Mr. Right will come knocking on your door. I lived alone for twelve years without a "special" relationship and I wasn't looking at the time I found my now husband. It really did happen when I least expected it and I wasn't even sure that I wanted it. Now I am happily married and glad I don't have to do the dating scene any longer!

Hang in there sweetie, everything will work out. You'll see!

Hugs,

Sherry

[Emma737]

Hello, i feel i understand. Your boyfriend slept with you for the first time. After that time the things i can garantee which were going through his mind were "will she want commitment?" he would have probably panicked. What happened isn't your fault. By the way you explained the things he said to you make me think that he said those things to make it easier for him to break up with you for himself. His aim was to make you dislike him slightly by saying you were a ***** so you would think "i don't deserve to be treated like that" he probably wanted to you to feel the same as him. I don'tt hink he did it to hurt you i think he did it in a selfish manner to make things less painful for himself. xxx

[Duchess]

oh boy, well see that's the hardest part.
it is a small world and yes talking about it and remmbering memories are easy to deal with eventually you will run into him. hopeful he won't be with someone else the way it happened to me. but hun, it's all part of the experiance. yes, it will hurt only for a momment like a shot. but, you will get over it and it will only make you stronger. even if you feel the world has ended it hasn't....
Hopefully you'll get lucky and never see him again. but, we know that's not possible. just know your better then him!!!

ABOUT THE NINTH HOUR JESUS CRIED OUT IN A LOAD VOICE, "ELOI,ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?"~WHICH MEANS~"MY GOD, MY GOD,WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"
~MATTHEW27:46.
MY GOD,MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?WHY ARE YOU SO FAR FROM SAVING ME,SO FAR FROM THE WORDS OF MY GROANING?~ PSALM 22:1