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#1001
Sep 22, 2012, 10:07 AM
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Slept eight hours straight last night. Feeling pretty good today, much better then the past few days. Have several social commitments this week starting tomorrow, much more than I usually have, hope I'll be up to them.
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 alone in the world, Bark, Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1003
Sep 22, 2012, 11:41 AM
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I'm awful depressed. Thank you, Whimsy. And thank you everyone for hugs.
I feel disconnected from the human race. And my back is sore . . . and my neck. I'm making the back worse by not getting going and moving around. This is the 5th or 6th day of this. I'm thinking that I must have misplaced my little bag of hope. I had it a week ago. Now I can't find it.  I know that I will have recurrent spells of being blue. But with no obligation to be anywhere or do anything, they are probably going to be harder to deal with. I should go to the Y and swim, but I feel too bad to leave the house. I feel lonely, too. Just crying now. How pathetic. I don't try to help myself. Believe me - a lot of this is my own fault. |
 alone in the world, Bark, Nammu, Rachel.i, Shadow-world, tigerlily84, whimsygirl
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#1004
Sep 22, 2012, 12:11 PM
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Dear Rose.....I do not know your whole story, in fact not very much about the details, but I must say to hear you describe yourself as "pathetic" breaks my heart, and I must say this. Whatever else you are, during the few months I have been here on pc you have so often been an inspiration to me with your gentle, fighting spirit and so many kind words and hugs for others.....whether you were feeling okay or not. Due to the arthritis in my spine I know how it is to suffer from physical pain in addition to the horror of depression, and personally I think you are an amazing spirit. Anything but pathetic. I am so, so sorry about all the pain you endure, and I pray that some kind of comfort comes to you soon. Love and hugs
 ~whimsy
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| Nammu
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| Rose76
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#1005
Sep 22, 2012, 01:30 PM
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whimsy - that is very kind and encouraging to hear. I will get out of this bad hole I am in, eventually. It just seems to be so hard to start climbing. Coming to PC has helped. (Though, sitting at this desk has made my back more sore.) Maybe, I can get into the shower . . . and then do the dishes.
Thank you. It helps a lot to hear something good. I will think about those good words to try and interrupt the negative stuff running through my brain. |
| Nammu, whimsygirl
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| whimsygirl
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#1007
Sep 22, 2012, 01:55 PM
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Almost 12noon and I have survived not having anything to occupy my mind. really want to read but focus and concentration is still not back since I took myself off meds. I am now back on them and just upped the dosage yesterday on one. Not sure how the rest of the day will play out evenings are hard as that's when all those bad feelings enters my body and I just want to escape through sleep. Then there is tomorrow!!!!!!!!
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| Bark, Rachel.i, Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1008
Sep 22, 2012, 02:33 PM
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Feel better than I have in a while, in part due to hearing the good news about my sweet kitty
Riley yesterday (in case you missed it.....despite weight loss, no sign of his cancer returning on ultrasound or X-Rays  ). It's just a good feeling to be reminded that good things CAN happen for me.....and that it is in fact the voice of depression ~the demon that tells me they can't. And I believe it may be ~probably is the same for so many of us. Now my goal is to try and carry these good feelings forward, and try to remember them when things don't feel so good. Warm wishes to everyone...... ps....This is my healthy boy 
Last edited by whimsygirl; Sep 22, 2012 at 04:30 PM. |
| alone in the world, Bark, Nammu, Rachel.i, Shadow-world
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#1010
Sep 22, 2012, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
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| Nammu, Rose76
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| Rose76
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#1011
Sep 23, 2012, 01:26 AM
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I am feeling awfully bad today . My brain is totally fogged it seems . Have to study but i don't feel like i have any energy . Worst part is that i want to talk to somebody and still do not want to talk to anybody
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| alone in the world, Bark, ExiExi, Rose76, Shadow-world, Snowy83, whimsygirl
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#1012
Sep 23, 2012, 10:49 AM
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Another morning waking early, today 4am, yesterday 6:30am. took an ambiem and 2 xanax with the hope they would put me back to sleep, no luck. Didn't break down and call my T yesterday when things were feeling out of control, so I should be able to make it until Thursday. I hate she changed my days from Tuesday to Thursday just seems so long. going to spend the day braiding my daughter's hair so I shall have plenty of time to just think of the bad things. The good days are starting ti last longer now that I am back on meds.
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| Bark, Rachel.i, Rose76
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| Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1013
Sep 23, 2012, 10:51 AM
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feel free to reach out to me when you need to talk I am a better listener than talker. PM any time.
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| Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1014
Sep 23, 2012, 11:23 AM
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Slept nIne hours straight last night, very good. Wonder if anyone can tell insomnia and sleep are a big issue for me, lol. Woke up depressed though, don't know why. But feeling better now, have to get ready to go to a birthday party soon, and looking forward to the Bears game which is starting soon and will be playing at the party too.
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| Bark, Rose76, whimsygirl
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| Bark, whimsygirl
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#1015
Sep 23, 2012, 11:48 AM
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Not bad...well rested. It is Sunday, and I have to run a few errands, but the weather is nice and there is always football.
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| Bark, Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1016
Sep 23, 2012, 12:39 PM
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My goal for today.....try to focus and get certain things done that I keep putting off lately. Plan is to eat pizza and watch the Emmy Awards tonight
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| Rachel.i, Rose76
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#1017
Sep 23, 2012, 01:03 PM
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I have 6 days of dishes to do. Well . . . if that's my biggest challenge, I guess life isn't treating me too bad. I'm still trying to pull up out of getting real blue. At least, I'm able to smile this morning.
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| Bark, CloudyDay99, whimsygirl
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| Bark, Rachel.i, whimsygirl
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#1018
Sep 23, 2012, 01:09 PM
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Update.....Oh come on, here come the tears
 Maybe they'll pass quickly.
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| Bark, CloudyDay99, Nammu, Rachel.i, Rose76, Shadow-world
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#1020
Sep 23, 2012, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
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| Rachel.i
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#1021
Sep 23, 2012, 04:26 PM
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Slept in lots today, but so did my roommate, and I got up first, so I don't feel so bad about that. I'm not sure how many times I got up, or when, but that was after I'd already slept several hours, and it was daytime anyway. I do hope that tonight, with a normal sleeping and waking time, that I make it straight through the night. The sleep seems to be the only side effect, thankfully.
Tried reading, got through a few pages today and yesterday, probably less than 10. But it's something. And today, even though I haven't bothered going out, I've tidied things up a bit, cleaned a little, did stuff. And I didn't feel lazy about it; it's midnight and I still feel like doing stuff! I hope this is a good mood coming on, or the medication finally taking effect. I think I might cry tears of joy if I'm able to read a book like I used to, and I'm not the type to cry. |
| Rose76
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| Rose76, whimsygirl
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#1022
Sep 23, 2012, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
~whimsy
Last edited by whimsygirl; Sep 23, 2012 at 08:14 PM. |
| Bark
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#1023
Sep 23, 2012, 04:56 PM
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Felt better after getting a fever for two days, got some sketches working on and trying to be productive.
__________________
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| Bark, Rachel.i, Rose76
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#1024
Sep 23, 2012, 07:23 PM
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Preparing for week.
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| Bark, Nammu
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| Rose76
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