losing my home

a friend emailed me yesterday and asked for the info regarding my house and my mortgage since i've been home from work now for 4 months.

she is a professional financial administrator so i thought she'd have some suggestions. the bank has certainly been hopeful towards trying to work something out with me.

her advice was that i am most likely going to lose the house, and that even if i were magically "better" tomorrow it could take a year or more to find a new job... so getting an extension on paying the mortgage for a few months probably won't do any good.

as to "magically better" tomorrow i still don't feel as if i've made any progress at all. i am still severely depressed, none of the meds have helped yet, none of the therapy has helped yet, i'm still physically and emotionally non-functional... i drag myself out of the house for my support groups but can't do much more than that, have been unable to get anything done at home (this has gotten even worse over the past few weeks) and it is getting just harder and harder to not stay in bed all day.

i ran out of hope a long time ago but now i'm running out of time too.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

<font color=red>(((((((((((((((((((Dave))))))))))))))))))))</font color=red>

I'm so sorry to hear this, but don't give up hope. Keep up with your meds and therapy and don't let yourself hide in your bed until you lose everything. I would pay more attention to what the bank is telling you than to what your "friend" said. She sure knows how to kick a guy when he's down! I have to wonder why she wanted the information about your house and mortgage.

Your meds will become more effective when you are back on a regular schedule with them . PLEASE don't give up on your meds and therapy!
Also, please, please fight the urge to stay in bed all day. I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed when you want so much to just stay safely there, but it will make the depression worse if you give in to the urge to stay in bed. I've done that before and it just made the depression drag on and on.

When is your next appointment with your therapist or pdoc?

AND I realized today that my phone has been shut off. I am behind on all of my bills mostly due to lack of concentration, haven't been able to sit and do it.

I made a payment to the phone company on line today so the phone hopefully will be back on in a few days. I can't call the mortgage company so I sent them an email, I hope i am not too late to do something about this.

It is like a rope slipping faster and faster through my fingers as everything falls away and i can't grasp it without getting rope burn.

on one of the community message boards i belong to they are all advicey but assure me that no matter what happens i still have friends. these are the same "friends" who won't return my phone calls or emails or visit when they promise. I've been alone here for months now with very little contact with anyone. if i had been relying on their "friendship" i'd be long gone by now. so having them reassure me that they are my friends is pretty meaningless.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

oh and tomorrow is my birthday and i'm sure it will go largely forgotten again. no one did anything for me last year (no gifts, no dinner, no phone calls, no nothin') so I just want to get through tomorrow.

I have not felt like celebrating any of the support groups "i survived the holidays" parties because for me the misery of the holidays doesn't end until february.

i'm pretty miserable today

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Dave, I am so sorry. Not much help I know, but the concern is real and meant.

If I was alone, I would be the same way - not going anywhere, not taking care of the bills and such. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Mary Alice

i am sorry to here of your problem, but have you considered seeing
a attorney to possibly consider bankruptcy? some states will let you
keep your house in this type of problem. case in point is the state of florida?????????????????

i am only trying to give you an idea. consider what you have before
giving up on yourself. you have to much to offer and a whole life before
you

Dexter,

As long as the bank is willing to keep working with you, keep talking to them and trying to work it out. I don't know what else to tell you except just don't give up. As long as you are still struggling to get out of bed, take your meds, and keep going, you're that much ahead. At least you're still fighting - that's what counts. You can do it!

And happy birthday!

Dave,

You're doing a great job of fighting. You'll make it!

and....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

>>You're doing a great job of fighting. You'll make it!

I feel that is less and less true every day.

With my phone out I can't call the bank and I really don't have the energy or motivation to take any other steps. I can't even get out of my house. And today is worse because of the snow, I'm probably going to have to walk to my doctors and i can't even call to see if he'll be there.

I haven't paid lots of other bills either. I had a short power spike last night and I was sure that they had shut my electricity off. I've had some comfort knowing my heat is oil heat so I've got heat until the tank runs out, but then I realized without electricity the furnace won't work.

I have less and less effort to put into this every day.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Dave,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Even if it doesn't feel like an important day to celebrate with the depression right now, try to do something for YOU - it is a special time today.

Take care of yourself, and please have a good birthday.

Mary Alice

things just suck so bad. I opened up again to someone yesterday, personal friend, someone who promises but then can't make the time to see me, and he emailed me yesterday because he tried to call and my phone is off, and so i came out of my shell and told him what has been going on and yet haven't heard back. but he has been up all night posting on another message board so it isn't just that he didn't have the time last night.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Maybe he didn't know what to say. Maybe he thought you just wanted to vent. Try emailing him again and say what is your input on what i emailed you the other night. either way, just remember you have gotten this far, you can get through this. just keep trying everyday to make progress. I think that the fact that you are actually trying to get up and take your meds on time is impressive. That says a lot right there. One day other people will be able to see just how impressive that is also.

Ok. If push comes to shove, contact a home buyer.... you won't make any money on the house... but they might purchase it for payoff and then your credit is much better than foreclosure.

You can find ppl who buy this type of property in local papers, free weekly flyers, maybe even in the yellow pages. Call some NOW and let them come give you a price... for taking it off your hands! Good luck.

...I can misspeak like the best of us

{{{{{{{{{{Dexter}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know how you feel . I lost my home almost 3 years ago now. In the long run though it was a good thing for me.

However, things can be done to try to keep it. Work with your bank.....they really don't want you to lose your home either. They will take a loss if you lose it and they would rather you be able to keep it. You can probably file for bankruptcy and your home can be protected. Is there a way you can contact a credit counselling service? Online? If they are in your area they will make a home visit too to meet with you if you are unable to meet them.

Keeping positive thoughts going your way.


Heather

{{{{{{{{{{Dexter}}}}}}}}}}