[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

I talked to my son last night. I am worried about him. He has "inherited" my mental illness... He is depressed and I am worried. I hate this illness.

And hugs to your son too.... Sending warm thoughts his way, and yours.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by newgal2

I have learned that while my depression may be biochemical, that's only part of it. Taking action and feeling I've done my best, plus keeping in touch with loved ones IN PERSON can help so much when I have depressive issues. It leads me to believe a lot of my depression is circumstantial, and there are some things I have to wait for right now.

Hi newgal2....Happy to hear that there's some positive stuff going on for you...yay! And as for your thoughts on depression....oh yes it's complicated indeed. So many people, myself included, suffer from "double depression"....dysthymia (a kind of all-the-time low mood), but then also with episodes of more major depression on top of that....and maybe "situational" depression brought on by life events, etc. to boot. Oh yes it's majorly complicated! Hope your better times continue ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rayvon

Feeling very lost today and I can't sleep. I feel like I may be in a crisis soon but I am scared to go to the hospital because I am afraid of people I don't know.

Hi Rayvon....If you're in a place where you're feeling really bad (for any reason) there are always wonderful, caring people to talk to at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Some people don't realize this, but you do not necessarily have to be suicidal to call them....you could just be very lonely, or in distress, or as you say feeling "lost". Not only are there kind, trained people to talk to, but they are also able to guide you to resources in your area if that's what you want. (No pressure.) Just a thought Hope you feel better soon ~whimsy ps....Here's the link Lifeline

[htebsiL radnalaS]

I'm getting better after the hellish weekend I put myself thru. If i had it to do over I would have remembered that i was already under a lot of stress. So when my bf got reactive I would have just breathed. Starting to wonder if a pattern is forming that when I need his support the most, I can't count on him. Time will tell. I'm feeling stronger in my adult self. We'll see how he responds to my wanting us to do some relationship work. Reminds me of the movie with Merryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. I'm prepared to respond as she did when he seemed uninterested in doing the work. All you can do is accept that and leave. I believe in working this out. And i believe relationships take work. Th one thing that I know is that it can't continue on this path. We need to get on to the road less traveled. And all I can do is work on myself and my actions/reactions, thoughts, feelings... and refilling my life with things that bring me peace and pleasure. Tonight I'm going back to my weekly hiking.

[whimsygirl]

My doctor prescribed Wellbutrin for me when I saw him recently. To be honest I've had so little luck with all the others that I'm not very enthusiastic about trying another, but oh well, I'll try and who knows Here's hoping. Don't know what the hecks been up with my moods lately....a little of this and a little of that. Only thing I know for sure is that I am more behind than ever on all the things I need to deal with, which continue to pile up, and basically my processor is just shut down. Forget "jammed" at this point....it's just plain old broken Severely frustrated and trying desperately to come up with any kind of solution, but with no spirit at all. Ugh. Anyway, wishing everyone else all the best, with hugs! ~whimsy

[NJBlues]

Saw a little light this afternoon, gives me hope that I am getting better. Just have to schedule some more activities so I don't have too much down time. Partial hospitalization program is going pretty well, too.

Spent a good portion of the day asleep....and here I am tired again. I must need the sleep.

[tigersassy]

Doing ok. Mood isn't up or down. Kindda feel like I just am.

[herethennow]

... not in a good place and was offered admission. But strongly objected as I really see no point of hospitalisation.

Best thing is? My pdoc belittled what I was conveying to him. The whole way I was hiding my rage, disappointment and everything I was feeling and was just going "hrm? Oh ya ya yah" and just wanted the session to end. It's times like this when I miss my previous pdoc who cared for me dearly. He told me to contact him earlier if I really in a crisis. Nope, not going to. Never going to. Either I would really carry it out, or just keep quiet. Who wants to hear my whining anyway... Compared to mine, other's problems are of paramount anyway. I'm just a whiny person who is just stuck with a label.

Oh did I say that the pdoc just now sounded like he was reading off a textbook? And in the middle of the session of which I was so much in a crisis he answered a call that's not much of an importance? That the previous session he called another person and said "yo bro, you free?"

.. yup I should have given up on treatment in the first place.

[online user]

Originally Posted by herethennow

... not in a good place and was offered admission. But strongly objected as I really see no point of hospitalisation.

Best thing is? My pdoc belittled what I was conveying to him. The whole way I was hiding my rage, disappointment and everything I was feeling and was just going "hrm? Oh ya ya yah" and just wanted the session to end. It's times like this when I miss my previous pdoc who cared for me dearly. He told me to contact him earlier if I really in a crisis. Nope, not going to. Never going to. Either I would really carry it out, or just keep quiet. Who wants to hear my whining anyway... Compared to mine, other's problems are of paramount anyway. I'm just a whiny person who is just stuck with a label.

Oh did I say that the pdoc just now sounded like he was reading off a textbook? And in the middle of the session of which I was so much in a crisis he answered a call that's not much of an importance? That the previous session he called another person and said "yo bro, you free?"

.. yup I should have given up on treatment in the first place.

so sorry this happened to you. can you switch pdocs again?

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Down. I have no energy today and have so much to do and the thought of it alone is making it all worse.

I so relate to this. Find some way to bribe yourself into starting. Maybe say I will just do XXX for 20 minutes and set an alarm.

I wish we could be work buddies...

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

And hugs to your son too.... Sending warm thoughts his way, and yours.

I can take feeling like s***. I've felt this way for so much of my life. But it kills me to see my son suffer. And it scares me, too. I don't know what it would do to my sanity if I lost him. I have had enough loss in my life. I really need to be next...

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

My doctor prescribed Wellbutrin for me when I saw him recently. To be honest I've had so little luck with all the others that I'm not very enthusiastic about trying another, but oh well, I'll try and who knows Here's hoping. Don't know what the hecks been up with my moods lately....a little of this and a little of that. Only thing I know for sure is that I am more behind than ever on all the things I need to deal with, which continue to pile up, and basically my processor is just shut down. Forget "jammed" at this point....it's just plain old broken Severely frustrated and trying desperately to come up with any kind of solution, but with no spirit at all. Ugh. Anyway, wishing everyone else all the best, with hugs! ~whimsy

I am praying for you and walking with you, girlfriend. One. Step. At. A. Time.

I am in a strange place. I am filled with such guilt and regret. I feel like I have let the entire universe down. It's silly...I should be fine. I need to get my haircut and I have a meeting to go to at 6pm.
I don't wanna leave my place. I just wanna sit here and stare out the window and be guilt ridden.
This is effed. Gotta see if I can do something to shake this off of me.

[tokiwartooth]

Feeling down still. Haven't really been able to shake it off.

[dandylin]

I'm a bit scattered and unable to concentrate today

[Sadeyes3533]

I don't want this life anymore there is no point for me to continue trying to live. Everything just ends up at the same dark place.

[nija43]

It's taken a couple days but I have finally reached a calm mood and am maintaining the status quo. So that's not bad.

[Consumed84]

Not a very good day. :/

UP
Depression is done. Don't miss it either.
DOWN
It's been replace by this sort of cyclical every other day anxiety that is really freakin me out.

[herethennow]

Still in a bad place. Dragging myself to work now :/

[bluedolphin92]

First couple days of school have been good Haven't really made any friends yet, but I'm sure that will come in time. There's an event in a couple weeks where all the student organizations on campus will be passing out information, so I'm sure I'll find some good clubs to join there.

Have been continuing to socialize with my roommates, which is good. Also, I've noticed that just about everyone on campus here seems really friendly. Hopefully that means it will be easy to make friends.

[oliamble]

Hello everyone, just wanted to share I had a good day at work, I'm feeling positive as usual, have some worries here and there but other than that life goes on and in general I'm a daily survivor. God bless all.

[shortandcute]

feel like i want to pass out

[herethennow]

Originally Posted by online user

so sorry this happened to you. can you switch pdocs again?

Unfortunately nope if I switch I'll be moved from a subsidised patient status to a private patient because I specified my doc.. and that means more money coming out of my pockets.

***********TRIGGER WARNING****************

Anyway, during work just now I was so so so down that I actually.. did it. For sure I knew I was going to fail, but some part of me knew that it might work even. Not a good place to be in right now, and I'm somehow scared that if I go to work tomorrow I would.. do it again. It's not work that causes it. I just happen to just feel so zapped out of energy to continue on and so I feel like quitting. But *sigh* I don't see a point in hospitalisation.