4 years gone

just like that. 4 years of no friends, love, job. just existing. its funny caz some people in this kind forum would say "dont say that caz u might get it someday!" yet everyday i asked to die and 4 years later im still here. for real, WTF AM I DOING HERE????????????? what i am doesnt fit this world. im not wanted. im nobody! how many years more will i waste?? i havent lived a thing. im not cut to live. dont think ill ever have a place in here.

I get you Elektra. I really do. After 30yrs of depression, these last 4yrs have also been the toughest for me. The last few days, I feel like I've hit rock bottom--like there's no more fight left in me. But I can still give you a few virtual hugs
Plus manage a heart-felt smile

I know you're angry and frustrated, but please don't give up hope. You ARE a good and special person.

Have you seen this>?
or this:

Hope that helps for awhile.

maybe you don't need to be perfect to be friendly or loving. Maybe it just shows through the open heart you have.

its 4 years is that time to find what your good at and what is working and change it so you feel better. its that hurdle where you don't believe what has happened or not happened at all. But why now?

circumvent a new you someone who is happy with who they are and not without anyone around. its a new beginning a fair new beginning. Go get a new hairstyle or color or cut. a change in the wardrobe (shopping at thrift stores) buying a new pair of shoes like some chucks.

OR

3 day "ME" Vacation go some place that you haven't been before that is in driving distance away.

prob is im too imperfect.

how am i supposed to find what im good at when i do nothing?nothing is working. im not functional at all.

why would i be happy with who i am if people dont like it? lol i dont even have money for that. my *** father pays my shi.t and is already sick of it.

Helps me! LOL

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

so sick of things going bad!!! i wonder when at least i will have some peace!

no peace you should hang out with your dad an uncle an try to have fun or you should go to the gym an ask out the big headed guy that thinks hes all that an a bag of chips it would b great fun

my father is the biggest son of a ***** that checks every file i have in my laptop... can somebody please kill me already????

I am in similar situation and longer.

If you want to change, you have to do and try something different. And nothing will change over night, it takes time.

I am seeing a therapist and it helps. I used to see other therapist, but they doesn't work. It's not easy, to try and find the right therapist.

I can relate to having years go by without any positive change.
((((((elektra))))))))

all i ever asked was to ****ing die. why is it so hard

Got the same question. ((((((elektra)))))))

We all are going to die, eventually, this is the only certainty I have. Then, what to do in between and dealing with all what has been given to me is the hardest part. On top of that now I am facing the consequences of wrong decisions made in the past. I struggle finding the extra motivation I need to live a decent life. I don't even waste my time thinking about how much easier is living for other people. I just cannot find the strength I used to have. I do not know if you can relate to this

so tired of living on nothing

I can relate. I've been in a trapped (for lack of a better word) situation now for about a year or more now. Just try to keep hanging in there--I'm trying to.

I am sooo tired, after work on Friday I have been on my sofa the whole weekend.

My flat is a tip, barely holding onto my job and failing my course, everything I do turns to **** and I am just shattered (mentally and physically)!

I can't see a way out, Doctor wants to put me on a higher dose of pills, but I can't be bothered to get there!

You are not alone!!

My Key To Talk

can somebody tell me what to do with my life? i really dont know

What are some possibilities?

when i think i can have tiny bit of peace my ****ing so called father ****s me over again. so tired of this shi.t

What happened?

i exist thats what happened . that alone is a huge mistake

Your feeling of worthlessness invades everything that you do.

Do you want to tell what happened with your father?

The feeling of worthlessness is very real and valid. It is a feeling though. The thought of it and reality of it is a lie.

looll really?? im a ****ing nobody. everyone ****s with me and i need to suck it up. everyone treats me like an idiot. no one loves me and i have no friends sooo am i SOMETHING?????