[Nammu]

Originally Posted by msbunnyryu

Bored. The day been pretty lazy and boring. Nothing happened really. If this keep going, I might not able to hold on.

to PC and the depression forum.

[regretful]

Thinking that some day I might wake up and find that this was all a terrible vivid nightmare, but I know that is not true...it's reality, and it's just depressing.

Feeling blue today, as usual. It's more of a melancholy, a sadness, that my life is what it has become. The only consolation for today is that my husband has off from work and we plan on doing some things together: going to an AA meeting, out to lunch, doing some grocery shopping. Not too exciting but something to do nevertheless - - reasons to get out of the house and away from this monotony that has become my life.

[MotherMarcus]

Just a couple of off days. Nothing major. It's been cold and rainy so I haven't ridden my bicycle.

[Rose76]

singing happily this morning.

[StarStrike]

I cried myself to sleep last night, thinking about a hurtful thing my dad's fiance said to me while my dad was present. "You need to dress like a woman." But all of my clothes came from the female gender section of the shop. So what if you won't catch me in a dress or a skirt and I like wearing joggers and skinny jeans. So what if I like hoodies and geeky t-shirts. My dad agreed with her. She's so emotionally abusive and yet, it's at night when it hits me and I start sobbing silently. I'm a tomboy. It's who I am. But who I am is wrong in her eyes. Today I just moped around all day in college. I can still feel the impact of it all.

[eggplantlife]

I'm by myself. I don't know what to do. I know there are things to do, but not doing them. Would like company. Called ex-husband. Not picking up phone. Woke up feeling good, seem to be going down, but I need to figure out something to uplift me.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by StarStrike

I cried myself to sleep last night, thinking about a hurtful thing my dad's fiance said to me while my dad was present. "You need to dress like a woman." But all of my clothes came from the female gender section of the shop. So what if you won't catch me in a dress or a skirt and I like wearing joggers and skinny jeans. So what if I like hoodies and geeky t-shirts. My dad agreed with her. She's so emotionally abusive and yet, it's at night when it hits me and I start sobbing silently. I'm a tomboy. It's who I am. But who I am is wrong in her eyes. Today I just moped around all day in college. I can still feel the impact of it all.

I can feel your pain. I'm the same way. Went through the same thing. Don't let anyone tell you who you are is wrong. If they can't see how wonderfully unique and beautiful you are when you are you its their loss. I'm not just saying that. Its something that I have to fight to believe (sometimes I still have issues). You just have to believe it for 1 minute at a time. (((((hugs))))) I had to cut my parents out of my life because of how they are, might be something to think about (not for everyone though). I wish you peace.

Tig

[tired_girl90]

Not looking forward to work today... Time to put on my everything's fine face

[Clara22]

Yesterday, I had some news about SS. It seems they came to my neighborhood to gather information (neighbor testimonies) to approve my disability pension. Apparently it went well. It is always an ordeal to depend on neighbor testimony for disability eligibility, it is a bad method of data confirmation but I am relieved the process took place and went well, according to one of the neighbors that was interrogated by SS.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by StarStrike

I cried myself to sleep last night, thinking about a hurtful thing my dad's fiance said to me while my dad was present. "You need to dress like a woman." But all of my clothes came from the female gender section of the shop. So what if you won't catch me in a dress or a skirt and I like wearing joggers and skinny jeans. So what if I like hoodies and geeky t-shirts. My dad agreed with her. She's so emotionally abusive and yet, it's at night when it hits me and I start sobbing silently. I'm a tomboy. It's who I am. But who I am is wrong in her eyes. Today I just moped around all day in college. I can still feel the impact of it all.

Hey StarStrike, this is her loss not yours. She's missing out on knowing an intelligent girl who's thoughtful and caring. Her loss is our forum's gain and you are doing just fine as you are.

[TheOriginalMe]

I've heard of a double whammy, even a triple whammy, but I'm up to a quadruple whammy

1: Depression
2: Meds making underlying physical condition worse, so doc reduces dose of a/d - Depression deepens
3: Second physical condition results in severe anaemia and associated Depression
4: Meds to treat new physical condition cause (you've guessed it) Depression

I am so unhappy, but being able to care about that unhappiness is beyond me. Maybe if I don't take my new med, I'll eventually bleed myself into oblivion. Would a DNR notice count if it was written whilst depressed?

[Bigmike727]

Well today could have gone better, my father doesn't want to help me with the costs of my education at all. He was never there for me anyway.

[msbunnyryu]

Today went the same as yesterday. Boring and lazy as usual. My mom told me that I should go out and hang out with people. But, I like being in my room. I like being alone.

[bluedolphin92]

Well it's certainly been awhile. I need to stop taking such long breaks from this place, I doubt people ever really remember me when I come back around here!

Anyway, I've been okay lately, I suppose. Got all A's for the first time since starting college, so I'm pretty happy about that. Also, I kissed a guy I've had a crush on since January on the last Friday before finals week. Pretty excited about that because it indicates that he at least kind of likes me back. But also wishing I'd done something sooner. Now that we're on summer break all I can really do is worry that I'll just end up getting hurt...again Really hope something comes of it once school starts up again, and I don't let my own insecurities mess everything up.

[regretful]

Miserable...miserable....miserable...

When depression is in effect (as it is now), even the little things seem like major problems that are going to last forever...misery...

[dandylin]

Is my mental health status so fragile that a comment from a family member can send me spiraling? The answer is yes.

[Pikku Myy]

Feeling a bit more positive this morning

[tokiwartooth]

I'm missing him, I need to see him.

Just feeling extremely lonely and defeated by this depression today. The boredom and feelings of useless continue. I think depression is magnifying every slightly negative thing in my life. I hate this and wish it would end.