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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,215
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.7k hugs
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#241
__________________ Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
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#242
Thinking that some day I might wake up and find that this was all a terrible vivid nightmare, but I know that is not true...it's reality, and it's just depressing.
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![]() dandylin, nakitakunai, Nammu, StarStrike, ToeJam
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#243
Feeling blue today, as usual. It's more of a melancholy, a sadness, that my life is what it has become. The only consolation for today is that my husband has off from work and we plan on doing some things together: going to an AA meeting, out to lunch, doing some grocery shopping. Not too exciting but something to do nevertheless - - reasons to get out of the house and away from this monotony that has become my life.
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![]() dandylin, nakitakunai, Nammu, regretful, StarStrike, ToeJam
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Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 363
16 380 hugs
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#244
Just a couple of off days. Nothing major. It's been cold and rainy so I haven't ridden my bicycle.
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,459 hugs
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#245
singing happily this morning.
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![]() dandylin, StarStrike
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Shooting Star
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
10 2,057 hugs
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#246
I cried myself to sleep last night, thinking about a hurtful thing my dad's fiance said to me while my dad was present. "You need to dress like a woman." But all of my clothes came from the female gender section of the shop. So what if you won't catch me in a dress or a skirt and I like wearing joggers and skinny jeans. So what if I like hoodies and geeky t-shirts. My dad agreed with her. She's so emotionally abusive and yet, it's at night when it hits me and I start sobbing silently. I'm a tomboy. It's who I am. But who I am is wrong in her eyes. Today I just moped around all day in college. I can still feel the impact of it all.
__________________ "Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
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![]() eggplantlife, nakitakunai, Nammu, regretful, TheOriginalMe, tired_girl90
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
10 334 hugs
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#247
I'm by myself. I don't know what to do. I know there are things to do, but not doing them. Would like company. Called ex-husband. Not picking up phone. Woke up feeling good, seem to be going down, but I need to figure out something to uplift me.
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![]() nakitakunai, Nammu, StarStrike
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
17 600 hugs
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#248
Quote:
Tig __________________ PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin ![]() |
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![]() nakitakunai
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Member
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 28
13 32 hugs
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#249
Not looking forward to work today...
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![]() nakitakunai, Nammu
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Posts: 2,188
11 5,526 hugs
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#250
Yesterday, I had some news about SS. It seems they came to my neighborhood to gather information (neighbor testimonies) to approve my disability pension. Apparently it went well. It is always an ordeal to depend on neighbor testimony for disability eligibility, it is a bad method of data confirmation but I am relieved the process took place and went well, according to one of the neighbors that was interrogated by SS.
__________________ Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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![]() nakitakunai, StarStrike
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,785
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.2k hugs
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#251
Quote:
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![]() tigersassy
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,785
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.2k hugs
given ![]() |
#252
I've heard of a double whammy, even a triple whammy, but I'm up to a quadruple whammy
![]() 1: Depression 2: Meds making underlying physical condition worse, so doc reduces dose of a/d - Depression deepens 3: Second physical condition results in severe anaemia and associated Depression 4: Meds to treat new physical condition cause (you've guessed it) Depression I am so unhappy, but being able to care about that unhappiness is beyond me. Maybe if I don't take my new med, I'll eventually bleed myself into oblivion. Would a DNR notice count if it was written whilst depressed? __________________ ![]() |
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![]() dandylin, nakitakunai, Nammu, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
10 111 hugs
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#253
Well today could have gone better, my father doesn't want to help me with the costs of my education at all. He was never there for me anyway.
__________________ Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin ![]() |
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![]() dandylin, nakitakunai, StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Account Suspended
Member Since May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 63
10 3 hugs
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#254
Today went the same as yesterday. Boring and lazy as usual. My mom told me that I should go out and hang out with people. But, I like being in my room. I like being alone.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 168
12 71 hugs
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#255
Well it's certainly been awhile. I need to stop taking such long breaks from this place, I doubt people ever really remember me when I come back around here!
Anyway, I've been okay lately, I suppose. Got all A's for the first time since starting college, so I'm pretty happy about that. Also, I kissed a guy I've had a crush on since January on the last Friday before finals week. Pretty excited about that because it indicates that he at least kind of likes me back. But also wishing I'd done something sooner. Now that we're on summer break all I can really do is worry that I'll just end up getting hurt...again ![]() __________________ "The rain keeps crawling down the glass. The good times never seem to last. Close your eyes and let the thought pass."
'Prodigal' by Porcupine Tree ![]() |
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![]() dandylin
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
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#256
Miserable...miserable....miserable...
When depression is in effect (as it is now), even the little things seem like major problems that are going to last forever...misery... |
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![]() dandylin, Pikku Myy, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 451
14 947 hugs
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#257
Is my mental health status so fragile that a comment from a family member can send me spiraling? The answer is yes.
__________________ I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
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![]() Pikku Myy, regretful, StarStrike
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: US
Posts: 3,103
15 4,904 hugs
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#258
Feeling a bit more positive this morning
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![]() dandylin, regretful, StarStrike
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,638
11 979 hugs
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#259
I'm missing him, I need to see him.
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![]() dandylin, StarStrike
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#260
Just feeling extremely lonely and defeated by this depression today. The boredom and feelings of useless continue. I think depression is magnifying every slightly negative thing in my life. I hate this and wish it would end.
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![]() chromegirl, Nammu, regretful, StarStrike
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