[Petra5ed]

I hate my life.

[Rose76]

Doing good. Keeping busy. It's amazing what you can accomplish, if you just try.

[tigerlily84]

Feeling okay today, healthwise and moodwise. lol pretty sure that "moodwise" isn't a word, but who cares? I think I'll try to search for jobs today.

Made it through my first ECT treatment this morning! If it weren't for my husband convincing me, I never would have left this house and would have bailed once I got to the hospital. I had so much anxiety I didn't sleep a wink last night, not for one second. Going back to bed now to rest. Feeling kind of tired and headachy. I know Friday's appointment won't be anywhere near as much anxiety-provoking. Just glad I forced myself to do it.

[regretful]

Originally Posted by newgal2

Made it through my first ECT treatment this morning! If it weren't for my husband convincing me, I never would have left this house and would have bailed once I got to the hospital. I had so much anxiety I didn't sleep a wink last night, not for one second. Going back to bed now to rest. Feeling kind of tired and headachy. I know Friday's appointment won't be anywhere near as much anxiety-provoking. Just glad I forced myself to do it.

I'm hopeful for you! Glad that you made it through the first session.

[hope2010]

I am so overwhelmed, high anxiety level, reality slap me in the face, I have depression, anxiety, recovered from breast cancer few months ago, and now my the man I love, my partner in life might have cancer. I can't wait for his appointment with his pulmonary doctor, see what he has to say to us, what is next. Hopefully would not be cancer. I still have hope.

I am so sad that hurts.

[Hellion]

Well had a mix up with an appointment to be assessed for if EMDR would be a good treatment for my PTSD...long story short missed appointment, over the mental health place giving me the wrong date and time...not the first time there have been mix ups and hassles with this place. So anyways that really pissed me off, had a hard time not going off on the desk clerk who picked up and informed me I missed it.....and had some pretty strong thoughts of wanting to just end it right there or break something or do something that likely would have got some unwanted attention this happened as I was going home from somewhere so was afraid of losing it before I could get home and calm down.

So over-all kinda feeling like s*** but trying to muddle through and take it easy.

[willow10]

Went out and got a couple of books to read and that is about it for today.

[TheOriginalMe]

One more day left before work on Wednesday. I have felt so physically ill today, low abdo pain, low back pain, nausea and I nearly fainted. I get somatic symptoms a lot, so I'm assuming that is what these are, but it would be absolutely typical of my messed up life to get ill right now. Despite hoping these symptoms are somatic, anxiety keeps taking over and I convince myself I'm bleeding internally. I want to take painkillers but I'm convinced paracetamol will destroy my liver, ibuprofen will detroy my stomach and naproxen will give me a heart attack. I have the codeine that I didn't take after my op two weeks ago but I'm not sure taking an opiate for what is probably somatic pain is a good idea. Right now I long for a few days of comfortable emotional numbness and apathy.

[lilypup]

Went to yoga today and took a birthday cake over for my evil mother.

[veiledregret1234]

All in all a pretty good day. I accomplished something the guys at the office thought I couldn't. I only cried twice and despite a dozen things falling in the vicinity of, nothing actually hit me in the head.

[tigerlily84]

Feeling better. Lighter. I had a very good conversation with my sister in law. I talked about things that have been weighing me down for years. I think I feel hopeful.

[Melinae]

bad day for me. i was a hermit... triggered by something yesterday... did not apply for work or speak to anyone. not in a good place : -(

[Hellion]

Why the hell I actually thought I'd be given the right day and time to make it to a therapy appointment to start some PTSD therapy, or at least be assessed for if the therapist thought it would help....and i actually thought it would go smoothly and I'd go to it and then be able to decide from there about continuing or not...I should have known something would come up to screw with it such as being told to show up on the wrong day and thus missing the appointment due to some mix up on the part of the mental health center...now not even sure I want to bother rescheduling, what's the bloody point so i can run into more hassle with it? It was like a big kick while I'm down and I am supposed to just be calm about it and rescedule, well missed that boat I got up the stupid motivation and guts to make the effort to initially schedule it and show up in the first place and it was really hard they should have did a better job, not sure I have it in me to brush it off and do it again.

[TheLastChapter]

Had the realization today that it is not the end of the world to not always be successful in life. Sometimes its ok to not succeed in what you put your mind to. Sometimes you need to have to take that step back and realize that you are only human and life sucks. Today I am trying to make the best out of everything. I will face the world the best I can with a smile on my face. Today will be better than yesterday.

[dandylin]

I wish I could explain to my family that the onslaught of negative thrown at me in the morning; effects me the entire day. I do not look forward for the time they come home.

And today, again, my husband's co-worker will be staying with us for a couple of nights because she can't afford a hotel. She's a hot mess of mental health issues and makes me insane

[regretful]

It still strikes me as remarkable that only a year ago I was sitting on top of the world. The descent into depression was so fast - almost not noticeable at first...now, mired in it for the last year. Trying the medication route again. I just regret some decisions that I've made that have made life very, very difficult...

[Wade_Wilson]

Doing some things that used to make me happy, making me feel good again, even if its just for a little. Im glad i get to experience some relief once and a while

[tokiwartooth]

Mentally I'm better than I was. The Cymbalta seems to be helping. I just got off of antibiotics, and now I have a yeast infection. It feels like there could be a UTI as well, but it could just be a really bad yeast infection. It doesn't burn when I pee, but I'm in terrible discomfort around my pelvic area. I will probably head to the urgent care center after work if it doesn't let up. It started yesterday when I started itching and burning like crazy, and then the pain started around dinner time. Every time I take antibiotics this happens. It's like trading one sickness for another.

[Bark]

I really don't like to be late. But the tiredness... I struggled to wake up, then to get out of bed, then to get ready.... I weighed my options. I went to class. My professor was less than happy. He was almost yelling at me in front of the class. Isn't the first time. In any case, next time I'm late (even by less than five minutes, which is how late I am), I'll have to skip class. Maybe I'll be able to sit in a corner outside and listen.

I've spent the whole day exhausted. Is it my fault? If I just eat better, don't snooze my alarm... everything will be fine?

I feel my body getting progressively more exhausted as the days go by. I'm expecting a crash.

Today has been a very difficult day. Of course the depression continues, but the anxiety has been really bad. Just not wanting to exist anymore.

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by Bark

I really don't like to be late. But the tiredness... I struggled to wake up, then to get out of bed, then to get ready.... I weighed my options. I went to class. My professor was less than happy. He was almost yelling at me in front of the class. Isn't the first time. In any case, next time I'm late (even by less than five minutes, which is how late I am), I'll have to skip class. Maybe I'll be able to sit in a corner outside and listen.

I've spent the whole day exhausted. Is it my fault? If I just eat better, don't snooze my alarm... everything will be fine?

I feel my body getting progressively more exhausted as the days go by. I'm expecting a crash.

5 minutes? I was once 15 minutes late to class and the professor didn't say anything. I think that if you were anymore than 10 minutes late then then the professor may have had a case for being upset, but if you're only 5 minutes late I would say that's excessive. Even so, he could have asked to see you after class; he didn't have to do that in front of everyone. I'm sorry.

I don't think that it's you're fault for being so tired. You've had a rough month. I know you mentioned before that you only take the pain medication if it becomes unbearable, but is it possible that this new med may be reason for your fatigue? Also, if you are following your pdoc's advice regarding going to bed at the same time and you're still tired, it might be time to see your GP. Be kind to yourself.

[tigerlily84]

I cleaned my coffeepot and watched a movie today. I feel okay so far. Nothing to report, really.

[TheOriginalMe]

Tired and anxious with the return to work looming closer and closer. I have to try this, if I don't then I've given up as it will be hard to get another job once I'm over 50, but over 50 and with mental health issues then no chance. I just hope I don't end up being fired or put on a disciplinary which have both happened before when I've gone back to work after a long absence for depression. Luckily, the anti discrimination laws are better now, but they are just laws and they get broken.

[TheLastChapter]

Well what I thought was going to be a good day has taken a huge turn for the worst. As the day continues into night I am starting to feel more and more alone. Like there is nothing to live for anymore. The problem is that I know that starting tomorrow I will not only be by myself more often, but I will have to take care of my younger brother also. Just knowing how much responsibility I will be taking on so quickly somewhat frightens me. I dont want to be alone either. With him at school I will have no one. Like I said, today started out alright, but as the day has turned into night, it has sucked majorly.