[Nammu]

Just marking time while waiting to hear from my daughter and mom how mom's heart tests went yesterday and today. She had most of the tests yesterday but no results until today. Can't decide whether to pack just in case she needs surgery or if that would be borrowing trouble.

[hope2010]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

very hungry. my meds make me starving. i think its the Seroquel.

I am in the same situation, hungry, very hungry after taken Seroquel at night. My psychiatrist says it is Seroquel and that it is up to me to stop taken and try something else. To be honest Seroquel work very well for me that I am taking the side effects with caution but I am not going to stop taking.

Thank you for tell us about it, I know we are not alone here, but is always good to share our daily life.

[AnomalousCarrotCake]

I just cried my eyes out. Spent the past half hour or so bawling my head off. I wished it helped more than it does. Now I just feel swollen and worn out.

I have therapy this afternoon. Wish I could've timed this crying fit in time for the session -- maybe it would've helped? I don't know.

I want to run away. Only there's nowhere to run. I feel like no one really understands me, understands my grief; understands that I don't fit in here. I'm sad because I also don't know where I fit in.

I tried hard to be liked and accepted here, even if I didn't know what my role was here. Then I gave up once it was clear no one appreciated what I did. It really doesn't matter any more.

[Smileonmyface]

relieved. colonoscopy was ok and i can eat again. exhausted and lonely. just kind of waiting for the day to be done so the kids go to bed and i can lie on the couch.

I am not in a good place atm.

Originally Posted by hope2010

I am in the same situation, hungry, very hungry after taken Seroquel at night. My psychiatrist says it is Seroquel and that it is up to me to stop taken and try something else. To be honest Seroquel work very well for me that I am taking the side effects with caution but I am not going to stop taking.

Thank you for tell us about it, I know we are not alone here, but is always good to share our daily life.

yes Seroquel seems to be working very well for me too.

Originally Posted by AnomalousCarrotCake

I just cried my eyes out. Spent the past half hour or so bawling my head off. I wished it helped more than it does. Now I just feel swollen and worn out.

I have therapy this afternoon. Wish I could've timed this crying fit in time for the session -- maybe it would've helped? I don't know.

I want to run away. Only there's nowhere to run. I feel like no one really understands me, understands my grief; understands that I don't fit in here. I'm sad because I also don't know where I fit in.

I tried hard to be liked and accepted here, even if I didn't know what my role was here. Then I gave up once it was clear no one appreciated what I did. It really doesn't matter any more.

I understand your feeling of wanting to run away. I feel like that all the time. And where to go? Just escape somewhere, anywhere. To make it all go away.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I am not in a good place atm.

[Angelique67]

Quitting smoking is an ongoing struggle. I'm not certain I'm going to make it but I'll keep trying. I feel so lost. Like I'm spinning in an outer circle of hell. I'm so afraid.

[TheOriginalMe]

Very tired after 3 hours sleep last night, hoping for 6 hours tonight.

[Turtlesoup]

Laid back day so far-my husband had some meetings & PT t o go to so I finished a book, let the cat sleep on me & watched a movie. I did tidy up the kitchen & laundry area & make the bed. Had some horrific nightmares though last night yikes one was very disturbing-bleh. At least I feel good even with the creepy dreams. Probably watching too much Buffy & Hannibal oh yeah & Criminal Minds lol-hope everyone here has a good evening.

[AnomalousCarrotCake]

Originally Posted by Zayabean

I understand your feeling of wanting to run away. I feel like that all the time. And where to go? Just escape somewhere, anywhere. To make it all go away.

Thanks for this. Yes, I want a change. I wish I could step into a different life and a better way of living. Even if it was someplace very different.

[bronzeowl]

I feel like I wake up, just so I can go back to sleep. My days are running together. I wish I had some ups to report, but I don't. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

[tigerlily84]

I'm not sure if I'm exactly depressed, but I don't feel completely stable either. That doesn't make much sense, but it's the only way I can really describe my mental state. Things could be worse, I know that, so I'm not complaining. I'm just in this weird in-between place I guess. Maybe this is as good as it gets.

So, my ups today: I went for a walk with my coworker, marking 3 days in a row. And today I went farther than I had before. So that was good. I also had lunch with my mom, and I felt like I was rather productive at work.

Downs: Throughout it all, I feel disconnected. And I've felt that way for a while. I'm not sure what it means, but I don't think it's good. I just feel like I'm not here. Like nothing really matters.

[herethennow]

Possible trigger:

I JUST WANT TO DIE.

I guess I'm doing okay so far today. It's Friday, which means I have a lot of time on my hands (no volunteering today). I have some errands to run and will probably go to the AA meeting, but that's about all that's on the agenda for the day. Maybe I should finish the dusting today.

I decided not to go running this a.m. since it's only 6 degrees out with the windchill. Tomorrow's supposed to be warmer, so I'll get my third day for the week in then.

rollercoastering too much i'm so unstable.

[boomerango]

tearful today. new medication combination (duloxetine + bupropion) isn't helping after 2 weeks. Trying to be patient.

Very depressed today. I feel so hopeless and joyless. There is nothing in life I derive any real pleasure out of anymore. It's all just a bland gray. Every day is exactly the same as the last, with only minor differences - it's been that way for several months now . And the days all run together... sometimes I catch myself thinking of something that happened, wondering, did that happen last week or last month? Because there is no difference. And I never have anything to look forward to. There aren't any 'ups' for me. I'm only getting worse.

Possible trigger:

I think about dying a lot. I want to go. I see no benefit in staying here, where I am miserable and alone. The only reason I don't is because of my family. But I need a reason to live besides other people. Family's not enough anymore. They do not care about my feelings or my mental illness. They don't support me in any way emotionally. I might as well just say it - I'm alone.

[dandylin]

I'm ok...I guess

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Very depressed today. I feel so hopeless and joyless. There is nothing in life I derive any real pleasure out of anymore. It's all just a bland gray. Every day is exactly the same as the last, with only minor differences - it's been that way for several months now . And the days all run together... sometimes I catch myself thinking of something that happened, wondering, did that happen last week or last month? Because there is no difference. And I never have anything to look forward to. There aren't any 'ups' for me. I'm only getting worse.

Possible trigger:

I think about dying a lot. I want to go. I see no benefit in staying here, where I am miserable and alone. The only reason I don't is because of my family. But I need a reason to live besides other people. Family's not enough anymore. They do not care about my feelings or my mental illness. They don't support me in any way emotionally. I might as well just say it - I'm alone.

[Smileonmyface]

really down today. took my kids to storytime at the library and didn't talk to anyone there as usual. felt unattractive and unlikable and felt like no one wants to talk to me anyway. went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine and it took a long time didn't interact with anyone there either. home again. laundry, dishes, need to throw together dinner. on a positive note put Easter stickers on the window and made rice krispie treats that my three year old liked.

[tigerlily84]

I think I pulled a muscle in my back this morning - all before I even got out of bed. It made trying to concentrate at work today very difficult. And my aunt is calling me, wanting me to go to a get together for my grandmother's birthday on Sunday. The problem is that she keeps calling at odd hours, like in the middle of the day when I am at work, or at 11pm when I am trying to go to sleep. When someone calls over and over again it really irritates me. Once is enough. I'll be honest, I was trying to avoid her call, and I also just plain didn't feel like talking to her. I don't feel up to having a conversation. It's exhausting.

[Rose76]

Still having tummy problems, but not depressed.

Today was just my average low-level depression. The kind that discolors all my days. No major problems today. No joys either.