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  #251  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 12:57 PM
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Okay, but just can't function for the first few hours of the morning.
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  #252  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 02:11 PM
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Todays therapy session was difficult. And I still feel down about it. I feel tired, lonely and hopeless.
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  #253  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 03:25 PM
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I've been doing really well mood wise since my latuda increase. I wake up in the mornings feeling rested and ready to face the day. I feel like getting dressed and doing things around the house not becouse I have to but becouse I want to. My back pain is getting worse and I've backed off how many days I go to exercise groups.
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  #254  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 06:12 PM
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I'm on the verge of academic dismissal, but there's still hope and a solution. When I told my mom about it, she didn't seem as cold as I thought she was, and on top of that, I was finally able to cry my eyes out. Not only did my feelings towards my mom change for the better, but when the crying ended, I felt human again. I felt like I had real emotions and not pre-programmed reactions.
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  #255  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 06:16 PM
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tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
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My coworker's grandma passed away yesterday. She was very close to her. I feel bad because she is sick, and right now we are on mandatory overtime at work. It made me think about seeing my grandma while I can. The whole thing is very sad. I am also sick and trying to get through the day.

And to top it off the animal control people gave me a notice saying that my dog isn't licensed. It's one of those things that I meant to do but didn't get around to.
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  #256  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 06:28 PM
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I got a message this morning telling me I had missed an appointment. I hadn't and decided to challenge the person who had sent the message. I got an apology but I still feel like the damage has been done. Everyone will remember that I missed an appointment not that there was a mistake that had nothing to do with me.

Later on today I had a meeting with someone who, instead of doing their job, wanted to tell me how great CBT is and that it will be a sure fire cure for me. The experience was right up there with the usual platitudes, get more sleep, eat better, take some exercise, etc, etc, etc. I just hated the assumptions that a total stranger was making about me.
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  #257  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 08:11 PM
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Exhausted..... cold chills, achey for last couple days. Think I'll just go o bed!
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  #258  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 08:28 PM
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Better today-cautiously optimistic. Ran some errands & cleaned the oven
Going to tackle cleaning the carpet tomorrow. My moods are still running somewhat amok but I'm trying to ignore that & just move forward. Thanks for the hugs I am planning on wrapping up this cleaning frenzy Friday & then take some me time (which at this point is anything that doesn't involve cleaning. Take care all
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  #259  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 08:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl View Post
Possible trigger:

It's complicated.
I know exactly how you feel!
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  #260  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 09:03 PM
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One of the girls in the nursing area quit last week so now we are all working 12 hour days. I am so exhausted I feel like I am ready to drop.
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  #261  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 09:52 PM
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I looked on line to see if I could find local Pt's. Found 3 different ones within 5 miles. I may try calling them tomorrow. Don't know if I need a referral or not. I hate healthcare. At least I will only need to worry about paying my co-pay. I had met my deductible by mid Feb. Talk about sad. Had a sort of okay day today. Hope everyone else did too...if not there's always a shot at tomorrow.
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  #262  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 06:29 AM
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It's noon and I'm still in bed. I feel so horible. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. But I don't have the energy to get out of bed. I finally stopped crying. I feel so sad and lonely. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel better. I had therapy yesterday, so I have to wait a week to see her again. I'm jealous on my T. She seems to have most things that I want in life. Or wanted. I don't know what I want. I just don't want to be me. I don't want to feel what I feel. I'm so tired.
The medicine is't working. What will the psyhiatrist say next week? Will he up my dose? Maybe I'm just imuune to anti-depressive. It that possible? How will I ever feel better?

There isn't any up in today.
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  #263  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 06:35 AM
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Still sick with a cold. Mood wise, I guess I'm doing okay. My T yesterday said she thinks I'm doing better. I guess that kind of surprised me. See my pdoc today, so we'll see if he has any medication revision suggestions.
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  #264  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 08:36 AM
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Anxiety thru the roof. Grandma is being rushed to a major hospital for a ruptured aorta. She's going into open heart surgery as soon as she gets there.
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  #265  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 11:05 AM
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Didn't sleep well at all last night. I forgot to take my Saphris before I went to bed; once I was settled in I remembered but, struck by laziness and exhaustion, I thought "Screw it!" and went to sleep without it. Big mistake. I took it this morning and it has a sedative effect so I'm going to be hurting no matter what I do. That's not even counting what the Fibromyalgia is doing to me.
I have an appointment with my pdoc today. I feel out of it. I'd like to go back to bed but I'm fairly certain a nap would turn into me missing my appointment.
I must not forget to tell her about jury duty.

Sorry for the rambling. Hope everyone else can pull through today.
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  #266  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigersassy View Post
Anxiety thru the roof. Grandma is being rushed to a major hospital for a ruptured aorta. She's going into open heart surgery as soon as she gets there.
I had a dissected aorta. Basically the aorta shredded. They have come a long way medical wise. You and your grandmother are in my prayers.
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  #267  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 01:52 PM
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well someone from the work program or whatever its called is going to ring me tomorrow so i will prob have to start community service next monday. this means ill have to stop taking the anti depressents because i wont be able to get to the doctors to get anymore, and they were just starting to work too ah well

apparantly its only 4 months not 6. or at least thats what my adviser said but she knew next to NOTHING about it. i suppose i will find out tomorrow. i just hope they do tell me everything and not holding stuff back to keep me in the dark (like the woman at the dole was clearly doing because she rang the place and shes sent loads of people there for the past year so she has to know whats happening

meh whatever this how things are and i have to accept it and deal with it... somehow...
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  #268  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 03:55 PM
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Today's been really bad. Financial problems are overwhelming, and since work got cancelled because of weather, I've had nothing to do except lay in bed and cry.
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  #269  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 04:26 PM
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I mailed a complain about the treatment I received in a facility. It probably wouldn't make any difference. And it might be to late. But I want their bosses to know how bad they treated me. I want an apology.

And I finally got out of bed. Still feel very bad.
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  #270  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 05:19 PM
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I feel sick n tired
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  #271  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 05:33 PM
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Swallowed by a black hole. No one cares, I am completely alone in this world. When that truth slaps me upside the head again and again, it makes carrying on just that much harder. Life sucks right now
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  #272  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted by dandylin View Post
Swallowed by a black hole. No one cares, I am completely alone in this world. When that truth slaps me upside the head again and again, it makes carrying on just that much harder. Life sucks right now
I feel much the same way you do at the moment. Hugs.
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  #273  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 06:42 PM
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Thursday is therapy day, it always leaves my mind racing. I avoid eye contact whenever possible, today my T made me keep eye contact, I didn't like that much. I disliked it so much that now I want to stop seeing her, I don't want eye contact with the world, I want to hide and be left alone.
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  #274  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe View Post
Thursday is therapy day, it always leaves my mind racing. I avoid eye contact whenever possible, today my T made me keep eye contact, I didn't like that much. I disliked it so much that now I want to stop seeing her, I don't want eye contact with the world, I want to hide and be left alone.
I understand. But I think we need to not be left alone.
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  #275  
Old Mar 05, 2015, 06:49 PM
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Had an okay day aside from back pain and mild body image issues.
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