So much for professional help

I've languished for since Sat Night on a hospital ward waiting for a psych bed to open up.

They thought I was a danger to myself and held me on a 72 hour warrant.

I have left the premises and AM NOW home.

Why? The words "Nursing home" came up and they are treating me not as a psych patient, but as a disabled person who needs taking care of.

The psychiatrist can spare a little time for me. She thinks I'm upset because I'm intelligent and can't do the things that normal, intelligent, people do.

Go to HELL!!!

How is putting me in a nursing home going to make me happy? These people have lived their lives making my life miserable. Now they want to take away my freedom because my despair is causing me to act as any other depressed person would.

My body may be betraying me,but so is the medical profession again, and again and again. They promise results and deliver dirt. They put me through hell.
Oh and she doesn't think it's necessary to desensitize me...she hasn't read what I"VE Posted here has she.

I left my clothes, my morphine and my coat to come back here. I will have no attendant and no nurse and I will be in pain...but I am at peace now...I will bury everything that has happened deep down inside and forget all this.

I can't bear the hospital anymore, so i ran away.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.

I feel for you; I get caught up in my own struggles and my own pain sometimes, but I'm not sure I know what that is in comparison with yours...you spoke of burying everything that has happened and "forget all this" if only it was that easy; our bodies and our minds won't let us forget.
Thinking of you,
Hang in there,
Jon

Hi, I did a long post and it appears to be lost in space. I will try to recap. It is not fair the way you were treated. Our culture has very little understanding of disabilities or emotional issues. You have both to deal with. You don't need to go to a nursing home. You have a right to make up your own mind about where you want to receive what kind of daily assistance. You also have a right to fight like heck for yourself and get what you need. When I am this depressed I can't fight with the cat let alone a system. Is there someone who can help advocate with you? That always makes me feel less alone. Good for you for taking care of yourself. I am concerned that you do not have your morphine because that in it'self can make things about a trillion times worse. Any way of getting it? Have a peaceful evening and a better tomorrow. Peace.

{{{{{{{{{{{Michelle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm sorry that it's so bad for you. Please let somebody help you. If they don't get it right, then tell them so, or find someone else. Can you call your attendant or a friend and tell them your situation? They could at least get you your morphine, right? You don't deserve to have to be miserable like this, and your life can get better. You have so much to contribute to the world.

Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>

Hi hamstergirl... I'm sorry that everything seems to be working against you when you try to find some help.

I wanted to add that the idea of an advocate might be a good idea. Specifically asking Father Murphy to go along to the hospital with you and act on your behalf. This would require first of all letting Father Murphy know the whole story, how bad you feel, and the things that you have been hiding from him. I still think that is a good idea by itself.

Let him know what things you find acceptable. Let him know you won't go to a nursing home as that isn't the problem. He may have more clout than you in having them get you the proper help even if that takes more time. He might for example be able to insist that they hold you until a psychiatrist or therapist could see you, rather than just shifting you off to a nursing home.

I know if may be hard to let him come along but he may be the best person to do so. His role in life is helping and guiding people, and he'll be looking out for what is best for you, not what is the most convenient way for the hospital to process you. He will also have your heart and spirit in mind rather than just medical facts. If you can let him in it may make the hospital experience more comfortable for you to have someone there with you.

For right now you probably don't want to think about that so quickly, but do think about what may help you and taking the step to talk to Father Murphy may still be the best step you can take.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

Michelle, are you out there? Has anyone heard anything? I hope you're ok!
Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>

Sorry, but running away from problems will never work

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hamstergirl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I understand you not wanting to go to a nursing home. I'm really young, but I have chondromalacia/osteoarthritis. Some days I can have so much pain! Having a disability of any degree gives someone a perspective that others can't truly understand. If I were in your position, I know for positive that going to a nursing home would only make me more depressed and upset! I hated the feeling that I couldn't always do things that others could with ease. It still bothers me that I can't play with my kids the way I used to. Instead, I have to ask my older child to help the younger one climb and crawl through the playland. Here I am so young, and I honestly don't know what my future holds. I don't see much how a nursing home would help you mentally at all. There has to be a compromise that you and your doc could work out. Curious...have you ever printed your posts from here and shown them to her? Maybe she'd better understand. So often people are more expressive with their emotions online than in therapy. I really hope you do okay. And I hope your pain lessens--physically and emotionally. Don't take these questions the wrong way, but...How do you feel about your own abilities? If you were happier and more at-ease, would you consider a nursing home for care/rehab then? Could it be that you are afraid? I'm sorry to ask, but I'm trying to think of ways to help you, no matter how small.