I was on another website asking others if they had anger issues and people responded as to how and what they did when they were angry. Most of them talked about screaming, throwing & breaking things and kicking big punching bags. I thought that was odd because my anger isn't like that. I'm more of a bad attitude angry person. You know. I'm a little snarly, low self esteemed, defensive brat. I posted that I guess I was more reserved with my anger 'cause I didn't let it out like that but I wish I could and I would have to try to. One poster, who I think doesn't like me, wrote about how her sister being the same way and that she thought she was prissy and she couldn't stand her... Okay, I focused on the prissy part and realized-OMG! I'm PRISSY!
Am I? I don't know. In any case-I'm going to try to break some plates and smash some walls in or something 'cause I think that might help me out of my prissy, bad attitude depression.
What are your thoughts?

Okay, maybe I should get a big punching bag instead. The others sound too destructive now that I had time to think about it. Although, I've been thinking of getting into mosiacs and that requires breaking dishes. Yay! I think I'll look more seriously into mosiacing.

[finestitcher]

Irritability and anger are a part of depression. Everyone handles irritability and anger differently. I am an irritable person when my depression is bad. But, I can get pretty angry also. I don't break things, but I am very grumpy. If I can have a good cry that does diminish the feelings though.

I don't recommend breaking or throwing anything, but I do hear that a punching bag of beating the wall/sofa/bed with a pillow helps sometimes.

I had my fill of broken things and holes in walls via my son!!

I understand what your saying about holes in the walls and broken things. I've decided to skip that option. I just feel like I need to physically react to my anger more, you know? Roll my sleeves up and get down and dirty with it. Quit being so prissy and reserved about it. Sock it in the face and stomp on it's ugly head kind of a thing.

[finestitcher]

ab, I am a quiet person in some respects. Striking out would not be something I would personally do. Partly due to my past with the men in my life (read "New Here" below for an thumbnail explanation of this if you like). I have had my fill of that kind of behavior in my life, so I personally would not resort to it.

Some of us are prissy or some other word that may apply, because of our emotional history. Don't let your brother influence you into doing things that don't feel right to you!!

Oh no, it wasn't my brother, it was a poster from another site.

What you said makes a lot of sense about being who we are because of experiences but I don't like who I am so I'm going to try to break my mold.
I'm going to read your "new here" post.
(((((((Hugs))))))))Thanks for listening.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Pickle ))))))))))))))))

[pegasus]

'Depression with an attitude' is much better than losing control and smashing things.

(((((((((( Pickle )))))))))))

(((((((((((FUZZYBEAR!!!!!)))))))))))

No, !!!!

Yeah, I keep think about smashing things and honestly, it's not going to come easy for me. I think taking aggression out while I'm exercising is probably the best way to go about it.
Thanks Pegasus

[Jacquard]

My thought is that instead of deciding whether to be openly aggressive or passive-aggressive, you should focus on reducing, and ultimately eliminating, that aggressive response entirely.

One thing that's important about anger is whether or not it's rational. We often have an unstated belief that all anger is bad. If the anger is coming from someone mistreating you or undue stress in your environment, the feeling of anger is your brain trying to motivate you to act. If that's the case, then dealing with the source of the anger is my suggestion.

If the anger is irrational, such as when the source is no longer present or even when there's no identifiable source, just realizing that you're acting irrationally can help. That said, even irrational anger is your brain trying to motivate you to act to fix some problem.

So yeah, I guess I'm saying that if you see anger as a symptom rather than a problem unto itself, you might be able to assert more control over it.

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pickle said:
Okay, maybe I should get a big punching bag...

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I resent the idea of using a punching bag. It feels as though I am getting permission from somebody to express anger in that directed a fashion, whereas I want to express anger in my own way, where I really feel that I am angry at someone or something that really deserves it.

That's true Jacquard-my problem is impatience. I have NO patience. It seems to run in my family though. We're all angry in one way or another-we get it from my bio-father who was an abuser to us and our Mom.
What if it's hereditary? Isn't anger also a hereditary thing? Like they say "bad seed" or "runs in the family"?
All of us are trying to control it but it's been a struggle for us all. It's funny 'cause my Mom is the total opposite-rarely gets mad or impatient. Why do we all have to take after the jackass parent?
I guess this would fall under irrational anger then because nothing really provokes it. Except little stupid things that shouldn't get me so angry but the bigger things, I really don't have much of a tempered reaction too. Oddly enough.

Hi Pach, lol, I understand what you're saying~But I think you'd be safer and better off beating the heck out of the punching bag. First, it doesn't punch back and second, it can't fire you from your job. lol.

[stefano]

Uhm, it may sound rude but the naked truth is that the punching bag doesn't work because it can't feel pain. You can't hurt it. It seems to me that anger is the urge to transfer one's pain to somebody else.

Hi Stefano,
I have to disagree with you because I really don't want to hurt anyone. I just get a lot of frustrated energy and/or adrenaline stored up inside of me that needs to be released. I think physical activity on an object instead of a person does/will work for me. If I'd hurt someone emotionally or physically, I'd end up feeling really bad and guilty about it and it really wouldn't do me much good. Although, I think men could be different so what you said may make perfectly good sence when it comes to men. Men just seem to have this violent gene that not too many women I know possess. Maybe that's just the way I see things because my abuser was a man. I don't know but I really don't feel the need to hurt anyone. I'd rather get hugs.

[pachyderm]

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Pickle said:
I don't know but I really don't feel the need to hurt anyone. I'd rather get hugs.

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[stefano]

Yes, I suppose it must be different for women.
Or maybe the difference is between frustration (due to inactivity, both phisical and mental) and anger (due to feeling hurt and insulted).

But to be honest, I do want to hurt someone when they're really getting on my nerves.

I hit my dog when he ran across the street to chase a cat and was almost eaten by a pitbull. I ran after him and screamed and hollered like a mad woman and everyone in the park stopped what they were doing and looked at me running across the field. I was sooooo mad at him, I dragged him calmly into the car, cursing at him under my breath and then I punched his behind and he yelped. I felt sooooo bad about it.

[finestitcher]

Anger, Pain and Depression

Anger, pain and depression are sometimes perceived as one big emotion, but when you don’t distinguish between them, they could end up fueling each other.

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/...lar_depression

Includes: Ways to keep anger from feeding your depression.

Thank you FineStitcher for your support and the article.

[breemarie]

I have anger issues too pickle. Don't beat yourself up. At least you recognize it and know that you need to change. I need help too but I have no idea what to do and when I was in therapy the therapist didn't have any suggestions either. My anger has chased just about everyone out of my life. It is causing health problems and may eventually kill me if I don't get a handle on it. Again, I have no idea how. I know you don't like being this way because neither do I. I can't stand myself and I know I'm a drag to talk to or be around. All I can say is maybe try self help books and see if they have any suggestions, that is what I'm going to try. I can't really scream or break things because my neighbors will think I'm crazy which they probably already do because they hear me yelling and slamming doors. I could use a punching bag I think that would help because there are days that I want to trash my entire apartment. I have done things like knocked tables over and threw things which isn't mature but I feel out of control sometimes. Hang in there Pickle and don't be so hard on yourself. You are not alone. I hope things get better for you.

Bree.

Thanks BreeMarie.

There are not a lot of therapists who specialize in anger management around where I live-I haven't found one, at least not any that I can afford. I've looked for anger management classes and I've looked for support groups. I can't find any. And of course, anger isn't one of PC's favorite topics. So, I'm up sheets creek without a paddle as far as trying to get help is concerned. I feel like I am totally on my own but it's not like I'm not trying, anyway. I'm exercising, I'm trying to meditate, I'm always mindful of my attitude and try my best to control it but some people just go out of their way to kick you when they can plainly see that you're having a hard time but oh my, when I kick back then I'm the bad person. I think, no, I KNOW Stefano is right. I'd feel alot better if I could rip somebody's freaking head off. Yeah. He's got the right idea. There's anger management for ya'. It's worth a try.

Grrrrr.

[ally88]

I get so upset sometimes that I get outragously angry and punch things, throw things and kick things. sometimes it relieves my anger, and sometimes doesnt. although it changes nothing. i would be doing it more, if it did. But yes, it may help you, to do that. this may sound weird but it makes you feel better sometimes by just letting lose of your feelings and losing all control. And then afterwards you feel as though you've made your point and your kinda out of energy also.