Originally Posted by WishIWereAStone

Thankful for this site to be able to come to. Trying to be thankful for other things in my life as well. Power of positive thinking????

Yeah, it is good that this site exists, so we know that out there in the world there are other people who suffer as well and that they perhaps will give us a hug if tell that we have a bad day!

[Sunflower123]

Feeling happy today and being productive. That’s good because I’m having surgery Monday to remove the defective lapband and I don’t know what the downtime is. Surely, not too many days. Have recently started walking my dog regularly and want to start going to the gym more frequently. There was no pain and no complications putting it in but my mid torso was a truly frightening bloom of colors which made me quesy.

So happy to get this thing out. I’m already looking forward to having turkey for Thanksgiving. Yay!!!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by katydid777

Ended up very early about 4 something because of bad dreams. My husband, and I went for a long ride on the softail, to visit a couple of old friends. The ride was wonderful, but we found out that a close friend that we have known for more than 25 years, passed away last month. This was a major shock to us. We thought he would to a ripe old age. He had a massive heart attack at the age of 62. He was always in a good mood, and was a Jimmy Buffett type, the type person that you would see living on the beach, in his shorts, and sandals, not up here working himself to death. Love, Thoughts, And Prayers to all who knew him. Today my day is sad.

I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a great guy.

[regretful]

It really is a struggle, at times, to keep my mind from running too far into the future or dwelling on the past (hence, my moniker). Rough sleep; up at 3 AM, riddled with worries. A meditation that I listened to a few times helped, but then I got into the office to face a host of problems, mainly financial, that cause me nothing but grief. Doing my best to stay focused, and avoid thinking that it's a catastrophe, because it isn't. I wish all of you well and at least a moment's peace today.

[mulan]

Not an amazing day today. But keep going on. Tomorrow I have a day off, a strike. I am not sure of my main reasons: better working conditions (for my future) or only for a resting day. Both, but resting plays a bigger part in my decision than it should. I am not even sure if the strike is going to get us something... Money rules the world, and it never seems to be enough of it to make what matters run smoothly.
I am thinking about hitting the gym later today, even if I feel tired.

[Angelique67]

I'm tense today but my oldest living girl friend called last night and she sounded great! It cheered me up.

In a few minutes I have to change my coil and fill my tank. The only hard part is getting the base back on level.

[Patagonia]

Horrid dream last nite that has bothered me all day. It's haunting me

(((Trigger!!))))

I watched my second child die & it was the worst feeling I've ever had in a dream!

Then towards the end this overwhelming feeling was it was the universal payback for my past. This was payment in full and now what do I do. The sobs that escaped my mouth were only heard by me. No one else.

I can't let this go.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Horrid dream last nite that has bothered me all day. It's haunting me

(((Trigger!!))))

I watched my second child die & it was the worst feeling I've ever had in a dream!

Then towards the end this overwhelming feeling was it was the universal payback for my past. This was payment in full and now what do I do. The sobs that escaped my mouth were only heard by me. No one else.

I can't let this go.

Sounds awful, Patagonia. I read one of your other posts, so I've some idea what you're going through at the moment. You seem lovely, and I'm sorry you're being made to feel guilty for being ill.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by katydid777

Ended up very early about 4 something because of bad dreams. My husband, and I went for a long ride on the softail, to visit a couple of old friends. The ride was wonderful, but we found out that a close friend that we have known for more than 25 years, passed away last month. This was a major shock to us. We thought he would to a ripe old age. He had a massive heart attack at the age of 62. He was always in a good mood, and was a Jimmy Buffett type, the type person that you would see living on the beach, in his shorts, and sandals, not up here working himself to death. Love, Thoughts, And Prayers to all who knew him. Today my day is sad.

Condolences to you, K.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by WishIWereAStone

Poor night's sleep last night, but trying to be productive at work. Thankful for this site to be able to come to. Trying to be thankful for other things in my life as well. Power of positive thinking????

I feel grateful for this forum, too.

Before I joined, I thought there might be arguing and big egos clashing. But not at all.

Most people seem honest and modest.

It's nice

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I feel grateful for this forum, too.

Before I joined, I thought there might be arguing and big egos clashing. But not at all.

Most people seem honest and modest.

It's nice

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

And I didn't know the forum would have its own comforting, unselfish, thoughtful, intelligent, courageous and beautiful Fuzzy Bear

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

And I didn't know the forum would have its own comforting, unselfish, thoughtful, intelligent, courageous and beautiful Fuzzy Bear

Aww thank you

((((((( Purple,Violet,Blue )))))))

This day has been a mix, slow in motivation to do important things. But got them done at last. I have paid some bills. Feel terrible, but behind that I have some sort of a hope that I'm going in the right direction. Have decided that after breakfast tomorrow, I will go for a walk outside for about 30 minutes.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Good luck, Singer. Tell us how it goes

[mulan]

One thing I hate, and I hate it a lot (I know I use superlatives too much, don't know why, mainly writing) is that other people have things going on in their lives and I don't.
It makes me feel ashamed rather than inferior. Ashamed they discover there's nothing that I like, that there is nothing I know about, that I have no hobbies... I don't want others to see how uninteresting I am, how devoid of a personality I am.
It is something everybody is supose to have, right? Something that makes them unique. Just don't notice I am weird and a no goal person.
I don't know music or movies or much about history or politics... I try, sometimes... There's much in theory I would like to know, in fact too much. I acknowledge I can't know the world so fast... but not even slowly. I don't know, I look at my father and he knows so much about many things. He doesn't have superior studies but he was so curious when he was young, he read so much...and I have spent toons of my time studying and don't even know that very well.
He was the young man I wish I was: curious, in search, sociable, adventurous, cult... I am so uninformed...

[Etherin]

Originally Posted by mulan

One thing I hate, and I hate it a lot (I know I use superlatives too much, don't know why, mainly writing) is that other people have things going on in their lives and I don't.
It makes me feel ashamed rather than inferior. Ashamed they discover there's nothing that I like, that there is nothing I know about, that I have no hobbies... I don't want others to see how uninteresting I am, how devoid of a personality I am.

I feel similarly. I see people creating and meeting their goals and doing things that they enjoy. Meanwhile, I, too, have no motivation, no interest in doing much, no hobbies...it's terrible. Basically wasting life. What are we to do?

Originally Posted by mulan

One thing I hate, and I hate it a lot (I know I use superlatives too much, don't know why, mainly writing) is that other people have things going on in their lives and I don't.
It makes me feel ashamed rather than inferior. Ashamed they discover there's nothing that I like, that there is nothing I know about, that I have no hobbies... I don't want others to see how uninteresting I am, how devoid of a personality I am.
It is something everybody is supose to have, right? Something that makes them unique. Just don't notice I am weird and a no goal person.
I don't know music or movies or much about history or politics... I try, sometimes... There's much in theory I would like to know, in fact too much. I acknowledge I can't know the world so fast... but not even slowly. I don't know, I look at my father and he knows so much about many things. He doesn't have superior studies but he was so curious when he was young, he read so much...and I have spent toons of my time studying and don't even know that very well.
He was the young man I wish I was: curious, in search, sociable, adventurous, cult... I am so uninformed...

I pretty much feel the same way. I feel that my life as of now is full with being busy. With work, domestic things, and things that I want to do for myself. On the other hand, I feel like my busyness can be detrimental to my social life.

At work people talk about their friends and family that they do things with. When I'm at the pool area where I live, I am almost all of the time alone there, which I don't mind that much. But when there's other people there, they seem to be in a group having fun while I'm just sitting there going "duh".

I feel like my life is alright, but I feel very unfortunate with my social life. It's like I am totally unlucky in that area of my life.

Another typical day for me today at work and stuff. I forgot my work badge today and just realized it when I pulled in to work. At least the security guards were nice to me and were helpful to get me a temporary badge. I just left my badge behind at home. Funny thing was that I heard that song "Badge" by Cream on the radio on the way in to work.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Etherin

I feel similarly. I see people creating and meeting their goals and doing things that they enjoy. Meanwhile, I, too, have no motivation, no interest in doing much, no hobbies...it's terrible. Basically wasting life. What are we to do?

I sympathize too. I love talking to other people especially around my age & they go on & on about all these things their doing blah blah & how extraordinarily busy they are! I just nod my head & think to myself....I haven't used the word "busy" since college.
Yeah definitely taking up space in this life for no good reason.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I feel grateful for this forum, too.


Before I joined, I thought there might be arguing and big egos clashing. But not at all.


Most people seem honest and modest.


It's nice

I am very grateful to have pc too although to most I'm sure all I ever do is complain! But I come here a great deal to "talk."
I don't talk to anyone...day in & day out. Feel like my brain is turning into sludge.
So I like to always come here & "see" everyone.

[Rose76]

Today was absolutely not awful. That's actually a big step in the right direction. So I feel sort of okay. My S.O. did some impatient snappin' at me, but I just kept moving on to "the next thing." It was better than getting stuck in the moment when I feel hurt.

[katydid777]

So far this morning is ok. I had to take my little Chihuahua to the vet yesterday to have bloodwork done because he is on 3 medications. They ended up charging me over 250 dollars. I guess it is time to find a new vet, because I can't afford that kind of bill, even my Dr apts don't cost that much.

[nikon]

I haven't checked in for a couple of days. I've been struggling with intense anger, but had routine bloods done and it turns out I have high testosterone levels, so that is possibly a reason (although anger is not a new problem). the anger has been so bad i get physically exhausted from it, and i wouldn't be totally honest with my therapist or pdoc about the extent because they would probably freak out. i'm obsessing a lot about my weight and my body, which is also exhausting me emotionally and mentally. still trying to keep up the meditation. i have been having casual thoughts about self harming - similar to previous ones i wrote about, of thinking about suicide even when i'm not emotionally feeling in a low space. just like a casual "oh that seems like an ok idea". i know they are ridiculous thoughts, and sometimes i realise that i actually miss chaos and crave the chaos and drama of everything going wrong all the time. like when i'm angry, i want to get into a fight. i never just feel satisfied with a good enough day, quietness, everything being normal, and going to bed like any ordinary person. something in me just wants the chaos.

[Rose76]

Morning off to a good start.