confessions of little turtle with love

You will get better! Trust the doctors.

I think I need a mood stabilizer but I'll try to trust them.

Don't stress yourself, that's the important thing.

erti---be careful of what doctors do and say...
the diagnosis they give..
the drugs they prescribe...

is it going to work for you...
are you experiencing side effects...
what is going on in your life...

Thanks. I'm waiting for my doctors appointment and talk to my pdoc about adding a mood stabilizer

Where is Fuzzybear today?

Big hug to you Fuzzy, catch you when your next on the bus.

A Big Good Morning to L.T., and Miss Fuzzy!!!!!!!

hi everyone

I really like that this thread is a safe place where we
can connect with each other...I like the bus thing but
it is not necessary.....I like to make confessions...

love is patient
love is kind

hi fuzzy!

Hi Fuzzy

I believe I've turned into a "Jekyll and Hyde" after my stay in hospital and all the drugs they gave me that turned me into also a prescription "addict".

when I was younger when I went to the doctor...
it was THE DOCTOR KNOWS BEST...
but now I am not so sure...
I am almost 87 yo...and I really have to think about
what is the best for me not what is best for the doctor.....

and I am a doctor..and sometimes I did not do what was best
for my patient...I didn't know any better...I made mistakes..

If not the doctor, who will treat your condition? They may not be perfect, but then again who is 100% honest and godly? It's not that they're brainwashed, it's pharmaceutical companies pulling their strings. Not their fault. The best I'd do is visit my doctor and do whatever he tells me to do and take whatever he prescribes. Not that I am on long-term prescriptions anyway, despite being so unhealthy. Pdoc constantly changes meds, so I won't consider them "long-term prescription."

i did the best i could at the clinics and hospitals..
i fought all the lousy things that were going on...
i refused to see drug reps....i refused to see patients q15mins..
i was a problem doctor....and i took the high ground..
but my mental illness was not pretty...it makes me very sad
that i suffered so much...but i saw and see so many people suffering more
than i did...i feel very sorry for depressed people...i wish i could help more..

i will try to help right now------
i believe that we are not eating healthy..
and we are not having healthy physical activity...
and we are relying too much on psych meds...
and our brains are taking a beating for 2 reasons---
we are not getting the micronutrients that our brain needs
and the psych drugs when taken too long are damaging
our brain...

maybe i can makeup for all the things i didn't know before...
i must speak out for then it will help me feel a little better...

Exactly. You, and I am pretty sure, many (although not all) psych docs do their best.

Of course it's a fact we need more nutrition, healthy lifestyle, exercise, positivity, leisure and rest to keep mental illness at bay. But some people like me can only rely on psych drugs. My doctor knows way more about brain damage than I do and I am pretty sure he switches to placebos after I am on antipsychotics on while. So yes, not all psych docs are pill pumpers. The only thing I find rather cold about him is he doesn't talk much to me, motivates me and tells me I am okay, but not too much therapy. Perhaps because I eventually come to know his intentions and I am like, "Oh he gave therapy to me, that must be a lie."


Yes the healthcare system needs a massive change. I won't deny that. But I wouldn't exactly tell a schizophrenic patient to be cautious of their doctor anyway, because what will happen, will happen. The patient is no doctor and they do not have the first idea about meds, so what will resisting a potentially good treatment plan will do?

Edit : Read this article on the website of Royal College of Psychiatrists.

lonely chemist....please read MAD IN AMERICA by Robert whitaker...
i would be interested in what you think about American psychiatry...

I am so happy that we can post on this confessions thread safely..
that we can say the way it is for us without being judged..

that book by Robert whitaker MAD IN AMERICA is a very disturbing book to read...
but I have learned a lot about how disturbed people have been treated over the years..I think money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and power are a huge problem....we patients may be getting screwed ....not everyone...

I am very unhappy to see most of us getting 15 minute appts and some psych drugs
without trying to understand why we are disturbed..

why are we disturbed...what is causing our unhappiness and loss of hope..
how can we regain hope...how can we get feeling better...

I have a mental illness....I am depressed...I take celexa...I see my psychiatrist
next month...I probably wont be able to talk with him about how disturbed I am
about psychiatry...in fact it is hard to say it here...

but I hate deception...I hate to see people hurt...I hate to see my friends
being hurt and given false hope...there is real hope out there but it has
to do with LOVE..

It's just how things are, imperfect. Think about theory -- what goes in your head, your own perception -- and practice -- what actually happens, with the eye of a camera, nobody is watching the recording -- A chemical reaction is never actually complete theoretically as the rate of reaction decreases with decreasing concentration of reactants, but in practice it is convenient to consider the reaction completely when its rate reaches to ALMOST zero.

Same goes for mental illness and your perception of the medical world. Money is a negative catalyst but psychiatrists still save lives, longer it may take. Remember the oath of Hippocratus?

I think I am drifting towards pre-diabetes....
on my vacation I had a lot of sugar and salt and fat..
my brain is not back to my usual unhappy state...

I can't believe how many oreo thins I ate...and all the lays
potato chips...no wonder my brain is screwed up....

i guess it is what it is....
I try every day to fix THE PAST...
I try to package it and put it away...
but I have not been been able to change anything...
it just is...I have not been able to leave it behind...
it was so messy...I try to clean it up...but I can't..
I have a mental illness..i am depressed...
but today I am still alive...I have been very fortunate..
I don't want to die...I want to feel good...
I will go to the library..

I too try to fix the past.

Just the thought of becoming a doctor gives me so much pain because it requires fitness I do not have, and it is not my fault even by a bit I do not have it. And it's a big fk you to me because it isn't only for me I want to be a doctor... and people call me stupid for that. Let alone be a doctor, I cannot have a productive life.

(In case you're wondering, if I have given up once again, nope, Imma still give the medical entrance exam, but I am posting here my thoughts on my depression.)