Another night, was happy, paid for a movie with my "roomate"... what a jerk. He's ruined my good mood. Accusing, insulting, making life as hard as possible when I feel happy. He obviously always had problems, and he needs to be alone. I need a new home. I don't want to go to my dad's and have no car. I'm broke. One day at a time.

[3rd rock]

I'm very angry and sad. I think it's due to medication changes. I'm also rather despondent on not being able to move away from my hometown because of job/financial problems and the need to buy a new truck before leaving.

Today I was feeling pretty good at work. But then I got home and a totally different story. I had ordered shirts for work and they came in. It turned out that I got the wrong order. So I'll have to get that straightened out. And then I got working out and threw my back out. I had just started the workout when it happened. I felt like I was rushing to do the exercises because I was getting a late start and was pissed off about it. I'll either start in on it again on Wednesday, if I feel alright by then, or next week. I felt awful tonight both physically and emotionally because of getting hurt. I'm in so much pain right now in my lower back.

Today was better. Got some cleaning and organizing my things to pack to move. Maybe my dad will let me drive him around if I clean and cook for him.

I don't want to leave though. I have a chance for work in the city and my elder son already lives with my dad for helping w everything. Summer will soon end and winter is a difficulty to get around in the rural area.

3rd rock,, I can kind of relate. Hope your book sales help soon.

I slept pretty good last night, so I felt alright today. I have not slept well lately. When I first got up I felt wonderful because I had a good night's sleep and no pain or soreness in my back. But unfortunately, my back pain crept up later on. It feels better now but still hurts a bit. I felt depressed because of my sore back today.

Took a bike ride after work. My back was hurting while riding a little bit. But afterwards it felt better. Went to the hot tub early this evening and it helped it a bit more.

I should try to get to the pool today, down the road. I'm very sore from falling and hitting my head knees and hips. Trying to get my amitriptyline faxed in because it helps with pain. I'm not depressed, just tired of my living situation. My younger sounds good, talked to him today, he's got his own place. Life keeps going. My fun today was getting some cat grass seeds, because my cat likes to eat houseplants.

A very slow day at work today. Some people made little remarks that were upsetting. No big deal but just unpleasant. Took a bike ride after work instead of working out today like I would have done. My lower back is still sore. It's improving, but a nuisance.

[3rd rock]

I don't like the fact that all the late-night comedy shows are almost 100% political nowadays. They've become unwatchable.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

3rd rock,, I can kind of relate. Hope your book sales help soon.

Thank you for your encouragement. I'm hopeful that the release of the 3rd book in my series will increase sales.

[Deilla]

Feel pretty good today. I bought some new art books with cool assignments. Can't wait to get started and improve my skills. Listened to some affirmations this morning. Want to try to do that every day. Goal is to flush out negative self talk.

Well I didn't get to the pool. Pharmacy messed up my meds. I feel depressed right now. Tired, needed something to help with pain and sleep.

Depressed and went for cookies and milk today.

Also, I brought my bike in for a tune up. I feel a little brighter this week.

I was pretty busy today making reservations for my trip next month. I was able to book the airline, car rental, and lodging. Really looking forward to it. But there are times when I feel a little bit of remorse and even wondering if I'm going to make it until then.

Feeling pretty depressed and down physically. My back is still stiff but getting better. I didn't work out, but I went for a bike ride. Also I felt tired, sore at the back and gassy (it's embarrassing for me to say that).

[3rd rock]

Pretty sad these past few days.

Was very busy today. Did the laundry early in the early morning and it went well for the first time in a while. When I went shopping I took a neighbor with me. He didn't have a car. He seems alright but I don't feel like I want to hang with him much. He doesn't seem to be the type that I enjoy. Nothing much else to report about.

[3rd rock]

I really hope sales pick up towards the end of this month, otherwise this is going to be the worst month I've had since March.

[Deilla]

Feeling depressed this morning. Too many irritating problems. Things beyond my control like computers messing up, monitors failing, accounts getting screwed up, etc. I'm trying to look at the positives but I'm not having much luck. I just want to sleep all day.

[3rd rock]

I can't wait until I finish this novel, then I can get onto writing something that may actually sell.

Another day of not fitting in. Don't feel like being responsible or doing too much of anything. I am bloated and tired and sad and a little big angry. I feel like I am spending too much time in highlight. I need to find a low light and rest.

[Deilla]

Dealing with family problems tonight. And I'm stressed already about this week. I have to go to the pharmacy to pick up meds. I haven't left the house in a month. Feels like my world is falling apart. I just don't want to leave my house. I don't know. Maybe when I start the trip I might feel better. I guess right now I need to try be present.

[TunedOut]

Going to see my sweet lovely sister in 36 hours for a few days. Mourning our lost youth, mourning my children's youth, I understand why she has always cried when I leave. Years between visits usually. She's the best.

An OK day today. Nothing much socially. Got a haircut this morning. Went for a 2 and half hour bike ride today. That's about it.

[rhinoinpain]

It's been a crazy day. Full of highs, brought on by meditation, relaxation, affirmations, binaural beats and more. And then some crazy low lows, brought on by my bad side, refusing to respond or change with all this extra positivity I'm feeding myself and my brain lately. The lil people inside wanna remain badass, angry, crushed by sorrow, depressed, violent, etc, while I'm trying to be an optimistic person now, full of God's light and blessings being showered onto me by the Universe. It's hard to get all of us on board with the changes. But it's IN with the new, OUT with old, tired, useless patterns, so I'm sorry bad people inside me, you had your chance at the wheel and now it's the turn of positive thoughts, patterns, skills and more!