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#676
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Today is the first day of my retirement or "temporary sabbatical". It feels more like a "stay cation" than retiring. For a lot of years, I had never taken more than a week off, except when I had major surgery six years ago. I was out for a month and a half at that time. So far I haven't done much. I have appointments with doctors later on this week. At least I can catch up on it. Today has been a gloomy kind of day.
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![]() Breaking Dawn, mssweatypalms, T4bbyCat
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#677
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I’m feeling a bit today but it’s not too bad. I’m hoping with the fact that it’s summer instead of last year when it was fall followed by my SAD and last years bad and scary pandemic surge that the post op stuff won’t be as bad this time.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Breaking Dawn, mssweatypalms, T4bbyCat
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#678
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I haven’t been doing the greatest. I need to get into a routine and work towards feeling better, but I just kind of get lost in my own mind. I know the things I need to do, but can’t find the energy to do them, even if they would help me out in the long term. I’ll have to really work on it. I think writing about how I’m feeling may be a good starting point, but that’s for another time with a different level of depth, I guess. I’m already tired. lol
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![]() Breaking Dawn, T4bbyCat
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#679
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I was in a good mood for a lot of the day. Then I was in pain. I took a pain med and I got super happy and loopy. Now I’ve kind of just crashed a bit mental health wise not to mention I’m now physically exhausted.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Breaking Dawn, T4bbyCat
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#680
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Depressed today. It started because I woke up at dawn after less than 3 hours sleep. Couldn't go back to sleep, except for a few minutes here and there. Plus, as always, I woke up sore.
Think I'll go back to bed. |
![]() Breaking Dawn, T4bbyCat
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#681
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Some set backs have happened since later yesterday and earlier today that got me down. I guess in retirement, things go wrong just as much as when working. Yesterday I split up with the only friend I had. We've split up before and got back together. But then things are said and we are back splitting up again. I feel like I really need a friend at a time like this.
This morning I had an appointment for an eye exam. When I got to the place, I found out that the place didn't honor my insurance that I had. I drove a bit of a ways to get there and then no eye exam. So I rescheduled for Thursday somewhere else. After that, things went alright. So far I've been very busy and have all kinds of things lined up to do in the next few days. So no real boredom right now for me. |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Lillydog63
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#682
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Been awake since before 3 a.m. This is getting me really down.
Being down doesn't last forever. It blows over. That's what's getting me through. |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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#683
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I have bad days these past few days. Today, I failed to get an appoinment, so I have to wait for unknown period again... And that's if I can get it next time. Along with other bad things, I want to talk to someone right now, but I don't have anyone to talk to.
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![]() Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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#684
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My antidepressants have been working really well lately and I have been feeling positive most days despite some anxiety and delusions. But I kind of "practice" positivity, too, by focusing a lot on gratitude. (I tend to journal on gratitude most days.)
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Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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![]() leomama
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#685
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I'm doing okay today. I am staying busy and talking with friends. It's helping.
__________________
‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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![]() Rose76
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#686
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Well I started back on a mood stabilizer. I was taking it in the morning but now in thinking to take it in the evening due to the drowsiness side effect.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#687
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The week is just about over, being the first whole week of retirement. I remembered on my single weeks off from work, I would get very depressed on Thursday & Friday because that nice week off was coming to an end. Funny how yesterday and today, I feel just like that. So I guess it still hasn't sunk in to me yet that I'm not going to a job for a good while, at least.
Lately, in the last couple of days, I have been feeling a little more depressed than I thought I would. I feel bad for feeling that way. As of now, there had been two loses as the job ended for me in which I really enjoyed until a couple of months ago when it changed, and losing the only friend I had due to some intense disagreements. I had a couple of doctor appointments this week for check-ups and they were both fine. However I have an appointment for next Monday to a dermatologist for a check up. I have not had some good results in the past with it, as I had some skin cancers removed. It wasn't much but it's a nuisance. Also today I got a call from the eye exam I had yesterday and it turned out that, as I paid for the service yesterday, there was an additional charge that was forgotten on the bill. I couldn't believe it. |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#688
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I am slightly bummed but it’s not terrible. I think my opiates were making my depression and paranoia bad. Since I’ve been off them things have been ok. I don’t seem to have the post op depression I was worried about. I think it may be because this surgery was in the summer and the last one was in October which was right when my SAD was starting and I had quarantine depression as well. Not to mention that terrible scary Covid surge happened around that time where 4 thousand people a day were dying.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Rose76
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#689
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I'm not doing too good at all. Getting fully vaccinated has not restored me to normal living as much as I thought it would. I only sleep about 3 hours at night. Then I'm up for hours and watch the sun rise. Then I'm alternating napping and dosing for short spurts. I finally felt rested by 5 p.m. So there is no circadian rhythym. This creates a sense of chaos. No daily structure. I'm not sticking to my plan of going to the gym, and I'm very deconditioned. I'm sore most of the time and just let chores go undone. My place is quite a mess.
I feel like asking for more pain med and/or something for sleep. I don't dare because I don't want to get labeled as med-seeking. Friends call, and I don't even want to pick up the phone. I thought, by now, I'ld be traveling to visit family. It just doesn't interest me much. Sometimes I think I should get a dog. |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#690
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I'm very depressed today. Things aren't working out. I'm alone and feel lonely. I have nothing to do.
__________________
‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#691
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Well I’ve been on lamictal since Monday. I’m working ft at a demanding and stressful job and my daughters been home all week. I’m trying to rekindle things with my ex fiancé and it’s slow going. That’s more for the relationship forum.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Yzen
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#692
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I'm still depressed and lonely. I have no one. I'm trying to work on projects but it's not helping. I want to quit all my projects and give up. Nothing is going to improve my situation.
__________________
‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Kelly68, Yzen
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#693
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I've recently been thinking some small insect has been biting me, I'm depressed because I know now that's not what it is, it's happening in my hands and feet. It has to be diabetic neuropathy. I've been careless about my blood sugar levels. If this is what I look forward to, along with all the other pains, I'm not going to be too happy. I've stopped asking for opiods. Now I'll stick to that, but that depresses me too. I've been really *****y, it's been a week since I had my last dose.
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![]() Breaking Dawn
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#694
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Very difficult at times. But I still see the light at the end of my tunnel.
__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * ![]() |
![]() Kelly68
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#695
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Having a hard time dealing with things today. I'm feeling very out of it. It's very hard for me to discuss and open up in the forums because of very negative experiences I won't get into, but I wish I could utilize this site as it's designed. It's hard enough finding one thread where I feel comfortable to share in general. Hope everyone else is doing OK. I should probably consider getting back on my meds and therapy. I don't know how I slowly got out of that habit, but anyway...
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![]() Breaking Dawn, Kelly68
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#696
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It’s been off and on but for the last 2 hours I’ve been feeling really depressed. I don’t know what I need or even what I want. I don’t feel like doing any retail therapy or any other unhealthy behaviors. This started last Friday right after I got out of surgery. So maybe I’m having post op depression. I’m not supposed to be dealing with PMS for another 6 days. So it’s not that. I just feel down and I don’t know why.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Kelly68
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#697
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A different kind of Saturday for me this time. I cleaned this morning, but before that, I made a batch of spaghetti sauce that should last me a month. No shopping and doing the laundry today; as I have done it that way for about 30 years. So it seemed strange.
Nothing much for tonight except to watch a movie, like I always do. I have things coming up to do tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday. |
![]() Breaking Dawn, Kelly68
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![]() Breaking Dawn
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#698
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Things are rough right now. I’m wondering if I’m having an existential crisis. My mom opened the blinds herself in my room because I’ve just been wallowing in the dark all day and she says it’s not good to not have any sunlight. I won’t go to the grocery store with her either. My headphones are ready for pickup at Target and I’ll go tomorrow to get them. Usually I want to pick up stuff immediately that’s come in. I haven’t eaten much today because I haven’t had any desire to eat. I’ve basically just eaten crackers today. I had some noodles though and some frozen grapes. Basically I just don’t have the energy and this happened right after my surgery on Friday. I didn’t think it would be this bad since it’s summer and not fall unlike the last one. So I don’t have any SAD or pandemic fatigue this time. But the post op depression is still bad.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#699
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It's been a bumpy ride for me yesterday and today. Yesterday I went for a check-up at the dermatologist and a biopsy had to be taken. No result yet but I doubt that it's going to be good news.
Today I got up very early to bring my car in for service. I've had a loud grinding noise on the front end. It's been a good while since I've had any work done on it. They found the problem is and there are other problems that I wasn't aware of. So this is going to be costly. Well it's a good thing I got a lot of unused vacation time that I cashed in on. If it were not for that, I would have to dip into my special savings fund a lot. But I will have to dip into it a little bit. I'm feeling very tired and depressed now. I haven't slept well lately, either. For some strange reason June, over the years for me, has not been a kind month. It seems like bad things happen at this time of year. |
![]() Breaking Dawn
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#700
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Quote:
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__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * ![]() |
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