[Mountaindewed]

It’s gloomy and fall like outside but all it’s doing is making me avoid my scary podcasts. I’m not really feeling any depression today. I haven’t for awhile.

I was really prepared for **** to really hit the fan. But it hasn’t.

[cinnamonsun]

Things are finally looking up. I've been on a waiting list for therapy since June. Next week, I finally will begin therapy. I feel a deep sense of gratitude. My depression is slowly getting better after making some hard choices to make changes in my life. I feel relieved and liberated. Today I felt more awake and had more energy than I've had in a while. My inner self-talk has been loving and encouraging today.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by cinnamonsun

I have grief and sadness in my heart for what I've had to let go of. But also, optimism that I can meet new people and find a new community. I miss, more than anything, having a creative outlet. Where I can share my poetry, writing, creativity, and randomly inspired thoughts. I am seeking a new place to do this. I'm sure one can be found.

Change is scary and can leave you breathless and vulnerable because it's unfamiliar. It never feels that good to leave a comfort zone. And your mind might say a lot of things that are untrue about why you need this change. But deep down, we all need change sometimes, right? If we are to grow and evolve. I think stagnation can be more suffocating than change. This is what I'm thinking about this morning with my tea.

Thank you!! I feel so much of what you say! Please stick around!

I'm feeling some ups and downs about my upcoming trip. I still have some anxiety about going, but I feel like I must do it. I spent some time this afternoon getting stuff together.

Today I was on the phone with my only friend and sister. Those two are the only people I have to converse with. For some reason I felt like speaking to those two depressed me. I seem to want other people in my life and not be so reliant on them. I get the feeling that my friend and sister feel the same way about me. I guess we're hanging on to each other because that's all there is for us.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by regretful

It is such a sense of despair that I feel. I was weeping last night for the first time in quite a while; maybe that's a sign of progress because I'm actually "feeling" this depression now? I do hope so. As usual, I wish all of you well in your struggle with this invisible and persistent annoying monster.

Thank you! And God bless you! I can so relate!

I have to say goodbye to someone today I've known for a long time. she's coming to see me later. I have a card for her, and we're probably going to have a hug

I hate goodbyes, but needs must..

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah I’m pretty depressed today. I’m not sure why. I woke up like this then things just happened one after another. I keep thinking I’ll feel better after I take a nap. Often I do feel better. But I keep fighting it.

[Buffy01]

I wish my sister and niece and my niece boyfriend would stop being rude to me and hurting my feelings. Or blaming me for things that they did.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I wish my sister and niece and my niece boyfriend would stop being rude to me and hurting my feelings. Or blaming me for things that they did.

I'm so sorry, Buffy. I think I can make some voodoo dolls that will get rid of this problem.

[regretful]

Friday morning. Not much has changed. Difficult sleep last night. And facing, daily, the challenges of keeping a business running in these trying times; complicating matters is that I've lost interest in the business years ago. I think that this is the source of my depression - because prior to owning a business, I did not experience these lows. I wish all of you well in your personal struggle with this invisible beast.

My day is just starting as of right now. I felt depressed this morning. Tomorrow is a big day for me. I'm going on a trip, a couple thousand miles away from home for a week. I'm going through pre-travel anxiety I guess. I plan to do a lot of small stuff to get ready.

[Pavlov's Cat]

I have been having emotional depression.

[Breaking Dawn]

I have quite a number of backburner missions/responsibilities nagging me all the time. So my laziness (or whatever) is making me sad & ashamed of myself. I have recently succeeded at accomplishing some difficult (for me) goals. I felt uplifted by that. But today one of my backburner things feels like an emergency, so I have a lot of anxiety about that, & it's my own fault. I'm hoping so much that I will fix this very soon.

[Deilla]

I have a mix of emotions today. I'm relieved that my sister will be fine, I'm sad for a friend and I'm anxious about leaving my house for a drive. The anxiety is the worse thing. I feel bad that it's winning.

depressed.

no special reason... just the usual **** all going on and the usual 0 sleep

highlight of today I think is going to get my paddington bear dvd (it should be coming this afternoon)

it even comes with a soft paddington bear stuffed toy.. and I have to say, I'm thrilled. I just hope the dvd lives up to how good it is

once again I am an adult woman escaping in to the land of the child. **** it, it's worth it and beats my present life

I cancelled my trip early this morning. I can't believe I did that! I went to bed last night and didn't sleep. I didn't feel easy about going on that trip. I have mixed emotions. I feel a sense of relief but at the same time I feel bad about myself for cancelling out. I guess it's for the best for me. I feel heartbroken right now.

[Deilla]

Today I feel terrible. I slept most of the day. I woke at 5 pm to fix food and wash dishes. Now I'm ready to go back to bed.

I'm feeling better this morning than I did yesterday. I got a much better night's sleep last night than the night before so I think it helped. Yesterday I was "weepy" throughout the whole day, feeling terrible about cancelling my trip. There were even some tears out of my eyes when I went bike riding. Yesterday, while I was preparing and having dinner, I was listening to an album by Ludovico Einaudi and it seemed to have hit the spot. I normally would have been listening to "rockin'" music, but I was so depressed at that time.

Today is starting off OK even though it's early. I hope this will be a good day. I'm still reeling from cancelling the trip yesterday a little bit. Oh, and by the way, I will be getting a full refund from the airline and a partial refund from a pre-payment with the car rental. So not much of a loss with this cancellation.

[Deilla]

I feel much better today. I got dressed and went on a drive. It was pleasant out. A little chilly. But nice and sunny. I played my game for a while, and now I'm getting ready to watch some concerts.

[cinnamonsun]

Another day where I've woken up with a headache and feel utterly exhausted. I'm looking forward to my first day of therapy tomorrow. I truly believe I'm dealing with clinical depression and need a lot of help.

I'm feeling so-so to depressed today so far. I did some light shopping this morning and went to the bank. When I got to the teller at the bank, she asked me how my trip went. I had forgotten that last Friday, I went to the bank and had that teller at that time. For some reason, I didn't recognize her. I told her this morning that my trip was cancelled. I felt bad answering to what happened.

I have a half a day to go yet and it's just the usual coming up later on. Nothing exciting.

[Breaking Dawn]

This is the right place to report my ups & downs these days. I keep going upward & feeling better, feeling hope, & then down I go. This particular moment hurts a lot, but I know I will start feeling better in a while.

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah the depression is there today. I don’t know how many times I’ve listened to the songs Halls by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness and Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus because they are so relatable to how I’ve been feeling. I fall asleep with them every night. I even have a flavor that describes this feeling. Mint. I know it’s kinda a strange flavor but every time I eat or drink mint flavored stuff I remember her. I also have a type of tea too. I drank 3 mugs of it today. I wanted to get rid of the box though too.

If I just gave up these 2 songs and 4 foods I think things would be better. But at the same time I can’t tell if maybe these things are helping me cope as well. I need to talk about it in the morning.

I just took 160 mil of Geodon and 20 mil of melatonin and I used my sleep lotion. So I’m hoping to just pass out until the morning.

[Rose76]

l've been doing pretty okay for the past few weeks.

[hvert]

My husband has been sending me house ads all morning. It's stressing me out. He wants to look at them. Part of me wants to move, part of me doesn't. The real estate market here is just nuts and I am not sure I want to deal with it.