[Rose76]

This morning I was still stuck in the quicksand. What's disappointing is that I was doing so well for quite a while.

I did start cleaning the kitchen a while ago. Right now I'm taking a break. Once I get my place picked up, I'll probably feel a whole lot better. I have days of unwashed dishes to contend with. I hate when things pile up like that.

This depressive episode has lasted the past several days. I wasn't even sad. I just had no motivation to do anything. I'll probably be alright by this evening, now that I've started picking up after myself. I'm so disgusted that this tailspin happened. I want to get back to where I was.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

This morning I was still stuck in the quicksand. What's disappointing is that I was doing so well for quite a while.

I did start cleaning the kitchen a while ago. Right now I'm taking a break. Once I get my place picked up, I'll probably feel a whole lot better. I have days of unwashed dishes to contend with. I hate when things pile up like that.

This depressive episode has lasted the past several days. I wasn't even sad. I just had no motivation to do anything. I'll probably be alright by this evening, now that I've started picking up after myself. I'm so disgusted that this tailspin happened. I want to get back to where I was.

I feel like that all the time now.

[captaineo]

Hi Friends. This week is a tough one for me. More than 6 years since my divorce and this 24th my eldest turns 13 years old and I will not be able to see her or share her birthday with her. I am trying my best to stay close to them somehow though. It is extremely hard, but somehow I can still write, get up, and do some work. But still not able to thrive again like I once had the chance to, still just surviving one day at a time. And I am thankful for that to God, my fellow friends on this platform, some of you know my story already. Divorce can really destroy someone's life, To be honest, I think God is helping me, I do not know how I would keep going on.
God bless you all.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by captaineo

Hi Friends. This week is a tough one for me. More than 6 years since my divorce and this 24th my eldest turns 13 years old and I will not be able to see her or share her birthday with her. I am trying my best to stay close to them somehow though. It is extremely hard, but somehow I can still write, get up, and do some work. But still not able to thrive again like I once had the chance to, still just surviving one day at a time. And I am thankful for that to God, my fellow friends on this platform, some of you know my story already. Divorce can really destroy someone's life, To be honest, I think God is helping me, I do not know how I would keep going on.
God bless you all.

Hang in there. Your doing amazing.

[will19]

Feeling discouraged lately. It feels like I'm on a losing team or something like that. Things that I hope for doesn't seem to materialize. It's like rooting for a team who constantly loses.

I have two new neighbors moving in; one next to me and another two doors down. I've seen them and they don't look like my type.

I didn't sleep well last night. There was a lot of noise from a couple moving in two doors down from me. They were constantly moving stuff and banging. It went on until about 11. And then I had back pain on the lower back and going down to my knee. So that kept me awake, too.

I did some errands this morning. The stores were pretty crowded. I tend to not like crowds that much.

I'm sorry for being so down. I'm feeling like I'll have to somehow re-invent my life, I guess. I don't know if that will work or not. It seems like the place I'm living at is going downhill. That's too bad.

[T4bbyCat]

Just in time for Thanksgiving, I wonder why people who never contact me suddenly ask me for money I don't have. Hm...

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by T4bbyCat

Just in time for Thanksgiving, I wonder why people who never contact me suddenly ask me for money I don't have. Hm...

My family does the same thing.

[Rosi700]

Am dropping my post here: This has been a day when I wasn't able to use my tools against depression. A new day is coming tomorrow. I have a big hope on being able to do better tomorrow. New start then ...

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by will19

Feeling discouraged lately. It feels like I'm on a losing team or something like that. Things that I hope for doesn't seem to materialize. It's like rooting for a team who constantly loses.

I have two new neighbors moving in; one next to me and another two doors down. I've seen them and they don't look like my type.

I didn't sleep well last night. There was a lot of noise from a couple moving in two doors down from me. They were constantly moving stuff and banging. It went on until about 11. And then I had back pain on the lower back and going down to my knee. So that kept me awake, too.

I did some errands this morning. The stores were pretty crowded. I tend to not like crowds that much.

I'm sorry for being so down. I'm feeling like I'll have to somehow re-invent my life, I guess. I don't know if that will work or not. It seems like the place I'm living at is going downhill. That's too bad.

Hi @will19. I'm sorry for how you are struggling and feeling like you are struggling in vain. I once read an allegory about the devil. The devil was telling the narrator about the strategies he uses to undermine human beings. He was showing off the various tools he had in his work shed. He pointed to a table and said the tool on that table was his absolute most favorite tool to employ when he wanted to ruin a human life. The tool was labeled "DISCOURAGEMENT." This story resonated with me because I've had a long history of battling depressive episodes, and those episodes tend to be dripping with strong feelings of being very discouraged. I don't think I give up easily. That's what gets so discouraging. If you put in a lot of sustained effort and have little satisfaction to show for it, you get demoralized. I don't know what is the antidote for that, so I'm not offering you any advice. My point is just that discouragement really eats away at a person's soul. I can totally see where "the devil" must get a real kick out of it. I'm not pushing any religious point of view. I'm not into that, and I see the devil as a fictitious character. That's why I describe the story above as an "allegory." It may be a "fable" - like Aesop's fables - but one can find some truth in fables. I did in this one.

Long continued discouragement leads to depression, which tends to make a person not want to get out of bed. (I speak for myself.) But that's not you, Will. I've been so impressed at how you stick to your routine of bike-riding. When you mention going for a long bike ride, I take my hat off to you. I can just see where that would really pi$$ off any devil hoping to own your soul. It's a kind of "win" that you do have. I know you want more from life, and I'm sad that you are deprived of more fulfillment. But know one thing: cruising along for miles on your bike, you are a person who has not surrendered to that inner demon. Cruise on! Frustrate the enemy, and savor the victory.

I took my own bike out of storage and put it on the patio. Needs repair and a tune up . . . maybe new tires. I'll get to it . . . eventually. Kind of cold out right now. I'm so out of shape. I really need the exercise, and not just for my physical health. Sitting here in front of the TV, in my pajamas, I'm letting that devil gain on me. It's time to spit in his face.

[Rose76]

Well, I'm out of the trough. Two days ago, I started picking up around the house. Washed the dishes, changed the bed sheets. Pretty soon I was humming and singing to myself. I always do that when I start to come out of a tailspin. Now I'm a little over-amped up, and I need to calm down. I go from having no energy to being so psyched up that I don't focus productively. One doctor, a long time ago, said I was bipolar. I think he was on to something.

[will19]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Hi @will19. I'm sorry for how you are struggling and feeling like you are struggling in vain. I once read an allegory about the devil. The devil was telling the narrator about the strategies he uses to undermine human beings. He was showing off the various tools he had in his work shed. He pointed to a table and said the tool on that table was his absolute most favorite tool to employ when he wanted to ruin a human life. The tool was labeled "DISCOURAGEMENT." This story resonated with me because I've had a long history of battling depressive episodes, and those episodes tend to be dripping with strong feelings of being very discouraged. I don't think I give up easily. That's what gets so discouraging. If you put in a lot of sustained effort and have little satisfaction to show for it, you get demoralized. I don't know what is the antidote for that, so I'm not offering you any advice. My point is just that discouragement really eats away at a person's soul. I can totally see where "the devil" must get a real kick out of it. I'm not pushing any religious point of view. I'm not into that, and I see the devil as a fictitious character. That's why I describe the story above as an "allegory." It may be a "fable" - like Aesop's fables - but one can find some truth in fables. I did in this one.

Long continued discouragement leads to depression, which tends to make a person not want to get out of bed. (I speak for myself.) But that's not you, Will. I've been so impressed at how you stick to your routine of bike-riding. When you mention going for a long bike ride, I take my hat off to you. I can just see where that would really pi$$ off any devil hoping to own your soul. It's a kind of "win" that you do have. I know you want more from life, and I'm sad that you are deprived of more fulfillment. But know one thing: cruising along for miles on your bike, you are a person who has not surrendered to that inner demon. Cruise on! Frustrate the enemy, and savor the victory.

I took my own bike out of storage and put it on the patio. Needs repair and a tune up . . . maybe new tires. I'll get to it . . . eventually. Kind of cold out right now. I'm so out of shape. I really need the exercise, and not just for my physical health. Sitting here in front of the TV, in my pajamas, I'm letting that devil gain on me. It's time to spit in his face.

Thanks so much, Rose, for your post. Great analogy about the Devil. I'm a Christian and unfortunately it does happen. The Devil can use the "tool" of discouragement on others. The Bible mentions about those who had to battle discouragement; and some of them were heroes. I feel like I put forth efforts to make my life better and then those efforts just didn't pan out. Yep, that's discouragement all right! And then things just happen that's out of my control that I wished wouldn't happen.

I've noticed that you have been struggling lately. Maybe you're still grieving. That takes a lot of time and doesn't heal by itself very quickly. I can relate to your recent posting about someone who is needy. I've been through that a lot from others!

I'm very glad to hear about you taking your bike out and dusting it off so that you can get it to work and ride. Yes, bike riding to clear your head can do wonders. At least it does with me. But also, be careful if you live in an area that's not bicycle friendly. I don't mean to sound conceited but I have been exercising and riding my bike regularly since my early 20's. Recently I have come across two guys older than me who had rarely exercised for themselves for decades. Since I came along for them, they started exercising for themselves.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

Am dropping my post here: This has been a day when I wasn't able to use my tools against depression. A new day is coming tomorrow. I have a big hope on being able to do better tomorrow. New start then ...

Welcome to our forums, @Rosi700. I hope you'll be feeling better soon.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

Am dropping my post here: This has been a day when I wasn't able to use my tools against depression. A new day is coming tomorrow. I have a big hope on being able to do better tomorrow. New start then ...

Sometimes I feel this way myself.

[Rosi700]

Thank you, Breaking Dawn!

[Rosi700]

Thank you, Buffy01 !

[Rosi700]

Today has been better than yesterday. I have been able to use a few tools against my depression. Feel a bit better!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

Thank you, Buffy01 !

Your welcome

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

Today has been better than yesterday. I have been able to use a few tools against my depression. Feel a bit better!

Thank you, @Rosi700, for sharing this. It's encouraging for the rest of us, & I'm so glad you're feeling a little bit better.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Your welcome

Thank you, Buffy01 !

[Rosi700]

I have problems with my sleep!