[GreyGoose]

You know all those wonderful chemicals/hormones that surge through your brain during moments of sheer pleasure and make you feel euphoric, ecstatic, elated, motivated, etc?. I'm talking about the kind of chemicals that make thier presence felt when you've been dirt poor your entire life and suddenly you hit the lottery for 50 million dollars. Or the kind of jubillant rush you get when your long-lost pet has finally been found. Maybe you hav'nt been with another person for 10 years and all of a sudden you find yourself dating a beautiful woman/man. Or still yet, you get really engrossed in a project and become very focused and motivated with it.

Well, all of that has been missing for me for a l-o-n-g time. I want those feeling/chemicals back. I want to feel highly motivated and ambitious again. I want my serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine back and I want to be able to take an interest again in the things I used to enjoy. I have lots of wonderful pets, projects I've been "meaning" to do, lots of realy cool software programs I want to learn, and quite a few things around the house that need to be done.

I run on auto-pilot most of the time as I mentioned once before. I have lost interest in everything. It's like I have become this robot/zombie who does things just because I know they need to be done but derive no pleasure from them, nor do I feel the least bit motivated as I'm doing them. On the RARE days when I do feel even the slightest motivation, I try to pack everything I can into my day - even freezing cookie dough, paying bills in advance, etc because I know that once I start going downhill again, I won't have the motivation to do anything.

I suffer from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) in addition to OCD, Anxiety, etc and I was on Ritalin as a kid so I'm wondering if I should ask my doc for something like this again (perhaps Straterra?). Anyway, I just felt like sharing and getting some feedback from the rest of you on this. Does depression make you feel this way?.

- Regards

[(JD)]

Yes, I think I remember those feelings....

For sure, ask your doc about this! Your system might need more than what doctors think it does,

just to have those balanced chemicals.

[SpazKatt]

I'm sorry *hugs*

[GreyGoose]

I realize that this is completely off-topic but I have been wondering about something ever since I joined this forum. Is this a Christian forum?. The reason I ask is because you folks seem especially cheerful and friendly compared to other forums I've been to and I see a number of people who have spiritual references in thier sigs. You people just seem so...er...happy and full of joy even though this is supposed to be a room full of depressed people:-)

[SpazKatt]

I do not consider myself "christian"

[(JD)]

LOL. Well many of us are ppl of faith. I personally am a Christian, but I have my really sad days too...

What "makes" this such a great support site is that DocJohn requires it to be, and most ppl here really do want it to be. Those who don't know how to support another person soon learn, or leave. sigh.

I know what you mean by other places where ppl say they are Christians or believers in a Higher Power, but treat everyone like dogs. Or worse. It's very difficult for me to go there and see it...I can only imagine how God "feels" about them!

Glad you found us here, though.



Having faith in a Supreme being helps your brain chemicals too, IMHO. That, all in all, someone else is in power and that you don't have to be perfect, don't have to have all the answers... and support like this ... that helps those chemicals be produced also!

[SpazKatt]

I didn't mean for my response to seem so cold... eep, I do not practice any faith in particular, however I am accepting of all faiths and I feel that I do have a strong sense of spirituality. Kind of like my own personal religion and reltaionship with god that I keep between god and myself.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Is this a Christian forum?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Nope. If you read the community quidelines, you'll see DocJohn actually asks us to limit discussion of religion here. This is simply because people have such "strong opinions" on the topic.... just like politics!

I've met people of all faiths here, and definately people of ALL faiths or no faith are welcome with open hearts. This is a place for support and discussion of mental health issues. We all use whatever coping mechanisms help us to survive! I use journaling, dog kisses, volunteer work, and the concepts found in Buddhism.

Great question!

emmy

[kimmydawn]

grey goose,

i know exactly what you're talking about. i was a complete walking/talking zombie for over 2 1/2 years. i hesitate to state why because i don't want to put across the wrong message about meds...a delicate and individual subject.

i just wanted to let you know...it can change. along with the strong "good" feelings coming back, though, the equally strong depressive/anxiety feelings came back for me as well. it's a delicate balance and hard to maintain. but i asked my family which they would prefer ( a already knew how i felt ) and they said they would much rather have me the way i am now...crying, screaming, laughing, playing...than the way i was before. that was all i needed.

i wish you well and hope you find the balance you need i your life. you explained that so well. you're very good with words.

kd

[GreyGoose]

I'm having a "sex-is-sinful" scruptulosity-type crisis in my life right now that is driving me mad. This has been going on for amost 5 months. I have a healthy, STD-free (and knock-out beautiful) girlfriend and she makes me so hot it's unreal but oh no, I can't do THAT because it's "immoral", "sinful" and "evil" and I will be "punished". I mean (gasp!) the thought that people are actually having sex out there and I'd like to be one of them is just an "abomination"!. I almost feel like I'm being teased and repressed all all at the same time. I'm given the "urge" to have sex but I can't use it. I also don't want to get married for some very personal (non-selfish) reasons that I won't get into here so I'm just kind of stuck in a rut. I was raised in a very strict, religious setting so sex is like the most evil thing a person can possibly do (ie; you must be married first, missionary-position only, done in the dark so you can't see the "naughty bits", a few quick "thrusts" and try not to enjoy it too much, etc). Yes, I'm being VERY blunt, sarcastic and a bit fasicious but I'm also being HONEST. My life really sucks lately because of this. If this is'nt really how "things are" then someone please set me straight but that's just how I've felt. Maybe it's my OCD acting up or perhaps I'm just way too inhibited/prudish/conservative and had a really screwed up upbringing. Maybe I'm the only person on this earth who has these feelings/problems??.

- Regards

[SpazKatt]

Grey goose I get those feelings too! it's like I'm a horrible person because I'm having sex. I'm 21 and I still feel like I should not be having thoughts however I am of the age! I never had sex when I was a minor, yet I am concerned that I will be punished for my "naughty deeds" *hugs* maybe there is a therapist who has expertise in religion you could talk to about this???

[kimmydawn]

Grey Goose,

remind me please, are you in therapy???

kd

[GreyGoose]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Grey Goose,

remind me please, are you in therapy???

kd

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No, I'm not. The first (and only) time I saw a psych he made me feel really uncomfortable and scared. It's a long story and I feel like crap right now. I will tell the story later if that's ok. I'm sorry. It's been a bad week. I am not a bad person but this stuff is really making me miserable.

[kimmydawn]

Grey,

I do NOT think you a bad person at all! I think you're a person in a great deal of pain and who's dealt with much in life.

I think your issues are real. I want to say to you...my first experience with a t was HORRIBLE...also traumatic. I didn't know why I felt so traumatized. I realize now that it was due to PTSD and the therapist had no clues.

I encourage you to (when you feel like you can) investigate and seek out another t. one who specializes and can allow you to move at your own pace. I'll be forever grateful to my t now, and so glad that I took that leap. I was NEVER going to go to t again. Wow, now I can't imagine having never gone back. My quality of life has been saved.

peace to you.

kd

[GreyGoose]

I'll post later once I manage to pull myself together again. In the interum, thank's for all the friendship and support :-)

((((((((((HUGS 2 ALL OF U))))))))))

[flowers601]

Grey,

I feel so much like you!!! OMG.. wanna go get some coffee and cry with me?

I, just 2 weeks ago was told I had Adult ADD and Depression. How I put it... Its that feeling you get on the first warm spring day when you are bouncing off the walls with excitement wanting to do something? I haven't felt that in so long.

I have seen a T twice now and all I have managed to do is feel worse when I leave. I am not on any meds yet because I cant see the Dr until Mid Jan.

I just want to feel good, happy again. Nothing excites me anymore. My Mom just came out to visit from Illinois for the holiday. It was "nice". I just posted under the Add forum that I am normally the social butterfly, the one everyone wants to be around because of my upbeat energy. WHERE THE HELL DID IT GO? I feel every day I loose myself even more.

One day we will find ourselves again.. we are there .. just clouded that's all.

Try to find a good T.. that might help. But you are not alone!

Kathy

[Rebound]

GG, if this helps, I think I have a fairly complete knowledge of the bible. If there's one thing I have learned, it is that too many people inflict half baked notions as religious doctrine upon the young or ignorant. The bible does not condemn sexual activity. It condemns sexual activity among those who do not care for each other. If you don't believe me, just read the Song of Solomon. Maybe if you give it a good read your feelings that sex is wrong will change. I hope so. It pains me to see so many so-called fundamentalists who have such limited understanding of the bible. Please understand, I do not refer to you, but those to whom you may have entrused spiritual guidance.

I am truly sorry you are having such trouble. Since I believe it is unlikely that your upbringing is solely responsible, I strongly recommend therapy to help you with this; however, if that is not an option, for whatever reason, the best defence is still a good offence. Get your hands on a bible and educate yourself. Just my 2 cents. Hope it helps and doesn't sound too preachy. I'm sorry if it does, but someone has to take a stand against all the hypocritical bs being spouted by all these "you're going to hell" so-called christians. Christianity is all about loving one another, not making people feel bad about having perfectly natural feelings.

[(JD)]

<font color="blue">Grey, regardless of the religious principles being felt, the fact that your behavior is upsetting you means it needs to be addressed. Feeling bad about yourself, or your activities, is a tough path. Since you don't have a T, you're trying to work through this on your own, and that's tougher.

We can't get into who believes what on this site. We can only say how God or our beliefs affect us. For someone (like you) having doubts about your faith and your actions, it would only add to your frustration to hear differing religious points of view.

You must go from what you were taught, to what God will allow for you, in your life. It's ok to be celebate, and might be a good place for you right now. If your girlfriend is a true friend, she will understand. Backing off from something causing turmoil, to reevaluate it from time to time, is a good thing.

Yes, the human body is made that way, once you start having sexual relations, it craves more. What you are experiencing in that realm is nothing new. And your Bible also speaks to that: self discipline. You need to decide if your upset for this is coming from outside yourself, or inside. If outside, do you respect those people's opinions on other topics? And if inside, from your upbringing, or from God. And then, reason out what is right for you, for right now.

I don't think you're a bad person for having these feelings. In fact, I think it's good that you are re evaluating what you are doing. We all have to do that, especially for something that is causing turmoil in our lives.

[Myzen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I realize that this is completely off-topic but I have been wondering about something ever since I joined this forum. Is this a Christian forum?. The reason I ask is because you folks seem especially cheerful and friendly compared to other forums I've been to and I see a number of people who have spiritual references in thier sigs. You people just seem so...er...happy and full of joy even though this is supposed to be a room full of depressed people:-)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Grey,

That's a good point. I've been around here for a while and I hadn't even thought of it!

I guess I'm just interested in helping out in any way that I can and getting some perspective on my own stuff in the process. The name 'Myzen' is a clue to my worldview, and I find that this form of Buddhism is very open and agnostic, which suits me fine.

My Dad did enough preaching to last until the end of time and beyond, so I don't bother with that approach. Maybe a quote by Jack Kerouac sums me up - "All I have to offer the world is my own confusion."

Well, it's not quite as dire as that, I do believe that we can find some strength within ourselves, even when we're faced with the heaviest difficulties. We do lose our way, sometimes for very long periods, and then we have to try to get back. Sharing helps.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen