I feel really emotionless and unpassionate lately. I'm scared.

I don't know what has been wrong with me for the past week or so. I feel like I just don't really feel anything. I used to be really passionate about things, I knew exactly what I believed and what I wanted, and now I'm just kind of here. I used to be I guess what you'd call a hopeless romantic...I'd get really sad and lonely because I didn't have anyone..When a chiropractor suggested I get a massage, I went specifically looking for a male massage therapist b/c I was craving tender male touch and thought that would be one way to get it since I'm not dating somebody. Now I can't even fathom why I did that. I used to be really passionate about my political views, and now I can't even remember why I held them. I see posts made by the political pages I'm a fan of on Facebook, and I'm just like, "Last week, it would have enraged me that CNN was paying more attention to the boys who raped that one girl than the victim. This week, I don't really care either way." I don't really know what I want anymore either. My dad asked me if I wanted to come with him on a trip in a few weeks..normally I would have a reason why I either really wanted to or didn't feel like going, but now I'm just like, "I guess I'll go...I don't know...I don't care either way."

This is really scary. What's wrong with me, and is there a chance I'll snap out of this? I feel like a robot or something.

When I get like that I am usually depressed. There are certain times of the season that will put me into an emotionless space. I usually try exersice or getting outside into nature. I will also make an effort to talk to friends. It usually only resolved the feelings of depression for a short time. Talking to my t helps also. I take medication for depression and anxiety and I know that helps. This feeling usually last me about a week or so and than I just snap out of it. But I never rely on snapping out of it. I always make some effort to bring my spirit up. Like now I think about kayaking when I find myself getting in a depressed mood. That always perks me up and gives me something to look forward to. Have you talked to you t about how you are feeling? Sometimes it just helps to hear your own thoughts being said out loud. Feel better.

Thank you for your response. No, I haven't spoken to anybody about it because it's only been maybe a week, and plus I can't...I sound too crazy. I don't feel like I'm depressed either...the thought that this is caused by depression sounds strange to me. I'm just confused, don't feel like myself, running around on auto-pilot, and don't really know what I think or feel about anything. I'm worried something is wrong with my brain, but I just had an MRI about 4 months ago. Maybe it's hormonal and I'll snap out of it once my hormone levels fluctuate, I don't know. I'll try exercising; thank you again.

in your first post in this thread you asked whats wrong with you...

Im sorry but we cant tell you whats wrong with you, only you can tell us whats wrong with you.. to find out whats wrong you might want to contact a treatment provider in your off line location.

What I can say is that one thing that jumped out at me is that you said in this post that this has only been happening for about a week...

when things like this begin happening to me I look at what has changed...

example if I suddenly feel strange but I know its only been happening a week or so, I back track to see if I can find the first time it happened to me.. when did I start feeling this way last week, was there something that stressed me out, was I coming down with or did I have a cold, did I get into an argument with someone....I keep asking myself questions until I discover that event that caused me to start feeling this way.

another thing I do is contact my treatment providers because there are many different things that can cause a person to feel emotionless, unpassionate ....medications, diet, fluids, lack of sleep, stress, ...if you google the terms feeling emotionless and the terms feeling unpassionate you will find that there are well over a million reasons a person can feel this way. some are completely normal and others are psychical or mental health issues, some are medication issues....

my suggestion contact your treatment providers, they can help you discover why you are suddenly feeling this way.

Thank you for your response as well. I realized that I underestimated how long I've been feeling like this. It started shortly before I met with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time for lunch, which happened about 2 weeks ago, so I guess it's been more like 2.5 weeks.


I have an idea of what may have triggered it, but it's stupid. Idk, maybe.

I can't really talk to someone about it b/c I can't really even describe it. I don't have the words. I did the best I could in my post here, but even that's not really that accurate. I'm just really confused in my head and can't think straight I guess. I guess I should mention that I have a ton of neurological symptoms that have gone undiagnosed. One of them is that I have a lot of cognitive difficulties that I didn't use to have, although this feeling is on another level. My neurologist said there was nothing abnormal on my MRI other than a small spot that he thinks is too small to be the cause of my symptoms. So he sent me to a neuropsychologist to have my cognitive functioning tested, and since I scored average to above average on all of those tests, they're just telling me there's nothing wrong with me. But there is; my brain isn't working right. I can't think straight for anything. I can't remember words. I make a ton of typos that I have to go back and correct while I'm typing. I feel really confused like I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm just running around on auto-pilot because I don't have any other option...I can't sleep forever, and I can't make all of my responsibilities go away just because I feel so confused. I tried responding to a message someone sent me on Facebook before, but I couldn't think of the words to type up a response. So I kept just typing stuff and then backspacing it b/c it wasn't what I meant until I got frustrated and started crying and closed the page. I feel like I'm just trapped inside of my body unable to communicate with others because my brain is too jumbled to communicate. I just want my brain to work like a normal person's again.

I can't contact my treatment providers because none of them listen to me. They all just tell me I'm perfectly healthy and too young to have problems and send me out the door.

As for the medication thing, I'm not taking any medications.

Anyway, I have no way of describing this feeling that will make any sense, so I'm just gonna go and try to get some work done. Thanks again.

Think I'm stuck like this.

Ive read your other posts today...feeling like you dont want to live, feel like you cant do /dont want to see your therapist and other things you posted....

your profile says you have depression

well guess what depression can make a person feel emotionless and un passionate and allt he other stuff you posted...and it doesnt show up on any medical tests...

my suggestion contact your treatment providers. they can help you feel less depressed, and all that you have posted today.

I just want to make something clear--I never said I don't want to live. Another poster suggested that maybe I'm just changing and becoming another person, and I said I'd rather not live than turn into the type of person who couldn't care less about anything. Not that I don't want to live. I do, and I don't think that what I'm feeling like lately is me/who I am. I just wanted to express how strongly I didn't like the suggestion that I'm just turning into a cold, unfeeling person and it's perfectly normal...in a sense, that suggestion feels insulting to me.

Anyway, though, thanks for your input. I wish I had words to explain where I'm coming from better, but I don't, so I understand why you can't understand why I don't want to go to a therapist. I can't expect people to read my mind.

Before I was diagnosed with DID I thought I was losing myself. It felt like my mind was breaking apart. I wasn't able to be around people for fear I would say or do something out of charactor. I couldn't think. Things I new were gone. My thoughts ragged in my head. My sleep patterns changed, I felt like I was under attack from within. I than started to withdraw from friends and family. I could barely show up for work and when I did I would often find myself in my car parked in some desolate area having a panic attack. I couldn't breath. I reached out to a friend who is a psychologist. He is someone I trust with my life. He gave me time to be safe. Time to slow the noise in my head. I started to take a low dose of anti depressant Zoloft and a low dose of anxiety medication. (I don't like medication) But I needed to slow things down so I could regain myself. The medication took about two weeks to work but I could feel the urgency subside, my thoughts slowed, my memory, sense of self and an interesting clarity occurred. I am not a fan of medication. I am still taking the same dosage as when I started five years ago. And I only take Zoloft and Xanax. Depression causes a change in our brain chemistry and these medications help to restore the brain chemistry to normal. I would suggest you speak with you therapist and if you are willing take a low dose of an anti depressant and anti anxiety medication. I don't know if I would have committed suicide but I do know I needed a break from the turmoil in my mind. I am myself again. I still have some memory issues because some of my alters hold memories that are not available to me right now. But I am able to feel calm and work with my alters, and me being calm makes them feel calm. The medication and my therapist have helped me to get to know the members in my system. And now that they feel they are heard by me, I am not bombarded with intrusive thoughts. It is more like a dialogue now. It's a constructive and supportive relationship. I hope you sort things out. There is clarity in the future and knowing that comforts me.

That sounds a lot like me. I'm so jumbled up in my brain, I hardly have any idea what's going on anymore, but I'm trying to stay on top of things and auto-pilot my way through life the best I can because I don't have a choice. I feel like I'm just going to snap and lose my mind completely at any moment, though. This is the absolute worst time for this to happen. I'm 23 and just graduated from college about a year ago and am still living at home with my dad because of financial reasons. He's constantly telling me I need to get a better paying job and move out of his house, not to mention my sisters incessantly mock me because they think I'm pathetic for still living here (even though they're 19 and 21 and do too). I'm trying so hard to save up money so I can get away from here, but it's hard. For one, I don't have a car of my own anyway, so it'd be really hard to find work outside of the house. And for two, even if I did, I'm scared to because I'm so messed up and can hardly think straight..how the hell am I going to go to an interview when I can hardly form a sentence without tripping over my words half the time? So I do freelance jobs from home...I'm lucky that I have a friend who was offered a position as project manager for the company I'm currently contracting with, so I've been doing work from home for her. The position pays $9/hour (we have a program on our computers that tracks our hours), and we have to work at least 30 hours a week and can work up to 60. So I've been doing 60 hour weeks every single week for months, but my dad thinks it's not enough because he sees it as not "real" work. I feel like the only thing I ever get to do anymore is work, but I can't stop because I need to save up a bunch of money to get away from here.

I just don't have time for being messed up right now. I'm supposed to be looking into starting a career and the rest of my life. I'm not really allowed to have a meltdown and take a break because I'm not living in my own house. What my dad wants me to do goes. He doesn't think I have a problem at all...every time I tell him I have trouble thinking, he tells me that there's no way I graduated college with a 3.95 GPA if I have all of the cognitive problems I say I have. That's another thing...I used to be so intelligent, and now I'm so stupid. It's stressful on me to watch myself decline intellectually, and it's impossible to get people to believe that I have a problem because they look at all of the stuff I used to accomplish and how "together" I used to be.

I honestly don't think going to a therapist will solve anything. I can't anyway because of my lack of a car and the fact that my sister does everything she can to make my life miserable if I drive the car anywhere ever because she resents the fact that she can't have the car to herself because of me. But aside from that, I tried going to one a while back, and she didn't understand where I was coming from at all because I couldn't explain myself. I had a few months a while back where I felt similar to I do now...kind of...it was different but somewhat similar. So I went to a psychologist, she didn't help me, and then the feeling just kind of went away on its own. Except I guess it's back. Anyway, she just told me I had severe anxiety and said I should check myself into an asylum. She said she'd get my dad to force me if I said I didn't want to, so I never went back to her. She also blamed the situation on me and told me that if I weren't being so ridiculous, my sisters wouldn't insult and torment me all of the time. Not to mention, she asked me why I didn't leave when my dad used to beat me when I was a child...because, you know, an 8 year old can just pack her bags and leave. I also went to a neuropsychologist recently because my neurologist sent me to have my cognitive skills tested. He said I did fine on the tests and there was nothing wrong with me. So I don't think a therapist is the answer. They can't help me...they make the situation worse. Maybe some meds to help me think straight would help if I could ever get a doctor to let me try them. They won't because, again, they look at my grades from school and tell me there's nothing wrong with me cognitively.

*sigh* I'm trying to just do the same things I always did before I started feeling like this to see if I can snap myself back into my old self. I bought a ticket to see a comedian I really liked live...Bill Maher. I don't really have any interest in going, but I know a few months ago I would have jumped at the opportunity to see him live, so I'm forcing myself to go now that he's coming here. Maybe just getting away from the house for that event will help. I dunno.

I have another question.

Does anyone know if it's possible that a form of seizure disorder is causing me to have all of these weird experiences/problems? I've long suspected that I have seizures, but I can't get a doctor to test me for them. For instance, a few years back, I used to have these episodes where out of nowhere, I'd start smelling an intense burning smell, but no one else around me could smell it. One time, I woke up from a nap and ran outside of my bedroom because it smelled like the house was on fire only to find that there was absolutely nothing on fire. Or sometimes I would start to smell a chemically smell. Everything I read when I tried researching what would cause this said it was a type of seizure, but every time I express my concerns about seizures to others, they just laugh at me.

Another thing is that sometimes when I'm half asleep, I start involuntarily biting down every few seconds, and I can't control it. Everything I read said that's related to seizures too. I think I do it in my sleep too because sometimes I jolt awake because I bit my tongue really hard in my sleep. Or sometimes I wake up with this difficult to describe feeling where I'm really dizzy and feel like there's a bunch of pressure in my eyes and I'm about to lose consciousness...I wonder if that could be a form of seizure too..not sure what else it could be.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone knows if seizures could cause me to have these periods where I feel the complete opposite of myself. Not saying I do have seizures, but it's something that has crossed my mind.

Im sorry but we can not tell you whether you are having seizures or not, only your treatment providers can do that...

In general for some people yes these same symptoms can be because of a seizure disorder, for others it isnt..

if you google your symptoms you will find millions upon millions of medical and mental and normal things your symptoms can be.

Im going to be blunt here...I have read your other posts and I see that your doctors have tried to set up tests to find out whats going on in your head, but you keep refusing to go through with doing those tests...
http://forums.psychcentral.com/new-m...ml#post2426857

theres a saying in mental health ...you cant help those who wont help their self......

what that means is that your doctors are trying to help you but you refuse their help so of course they cant do anything for you...

welll the same goes for here...we cant diagnose you, it is you that must tell us what your diagnosis's are and what your problems are...

we can tell you whether we have had the same problems and what our own doctors called it in us but theres thousands of members here so that means theres thousands of people who may have the same symptoms but their doctors called the same symptom by thousands of different normal, diseases, disordered things.

if you want help then get those tests done that they are trying to set up for you to do and you keep refusing to do..

the way to get your doctors to help you is by you helping you self by following what your doctors want you to do..

All I asked was whether it was POSSIBLE. If you couldn't answer that simple question, you didn't have to respond at all just to chastise me based on a very old post of mine. I don't refuse to get tests done anymore. That post you pulled up is very old. Yes, I went several years where I didn't have any medical tests done because these symptoms started when I was barely a teenager, and I was terrified and had no support. Not to mention my mom was very sick for many of those years, and I didn't want to burden my family any further when my dad was already always complaining about my mom's medical bills, so I kept the health problems I was having to myself. And yes I was afraid to seek medical treatment as an adult after that because I had waited so long and let my symptoms get so bad, and again, I had no support. Thanks for reminding me of what my situation *used* to be; I've been actively trying to put that behind me so I can focus on getting better now. I wish I could go back in time and change that, but I can't and don't need it used against me now..it only serves to make it even more difficult for me to get help without people judging me for decisions I've made in the past. I've been through many tests since then and have had to fight to get doctors to be willing to give me any tests because they don't think it's necessary to give me them because "I'm young." I've been to two neurologists, and they refuse to test me for seizures. I asked my GP if I could get my hormones tested, and she told me no because there isn't a need to test them. I already mentioned that I've been to two different psychologists who couldn't help. So yes I have to ask questions of people who have had experiences similar to mine because the doctors don't want to help me. All I asked was whether a seizure disorder could account for the issues I have...that did not warrant digging through my old posts and publicly accusing me of not wanting to help myself. Sorry that I have apparently offended you by trying to seek information. I'll leave you alone and will continue to suffer with these issues by myself until I find a doctor who figures out what's going on or figure out a way to fix it myself. This place has not been the supportive environment it is advertised to be for me. I no longer feel welcome nor safe posting here after reading your post and the way you linked something I posted a long time ago for all to see.

I'm going to quit posting here now that you have embarrassed me by pulling up and drawing attention to a very old post of mine. That was unnecessary, and I have requested that a moderator remove the post. Happy Easter. Bye.

I admit I dont always read the dates in which something has been posted Im sorry if the post I referenced was an old one. the reason I posted the way I did is that all your posts seem to be the same way where you are asking us to make a diagnosis of your problems and many of us have told you we cant tell you whether what you have is one thing or another or make any diagnosis.. and that everything you ask is it possible to can go either way

for some people everything you post is possible and for others everything you posted isnt possible. just googleing your symptoms will show you how diverse trying to diagnose what a symptom is can be, for every symptom a person has, that symptom can be millions of different things and have millions of possibilities. so yea every thing you post.... can or cant ....be possible depending on your own history, accompanying symptoms and what ever else is involved with diagnosing whether a symptom is possibly this or that.

the only way to know for sure what a symptom is pointing to and whether something is possible in you is by contacting your treatment providers.

we cant tell you any more than that except to say if we have had the same symptoms and what our own treatment providers called it in us... your same symptoms were called at least 10-15 different diagnosises in me depending upon accompanying symptoms.. like hallucinations, delusions, anemia, heart problem, sleep problems, and many more.

to find out if something is possible in you, you will need to contact your treatment provider.

You sound depressed and not clear who or what you want. There are many beautiful ways to feelless lonely then just being w people. Give a write back if like