Things just aren't good

Tomorrow we start PT. terrified! feet are our biggest trigger. I can't stand anyone even close to my feet. not even my "h".
Been having weird dreams of "S". watching other ppl do it and wishing that it was me and not them. keeps going through my head. every night I dream about it. then have dreams about g*d weird dreams. paranoid, feel like i'm losing my mind or what i have of it.

((((( Lisa )))))

I'm sorry things are so hard for you. Scary stuff for sure.

Are there any relaxation methods you have in place that might help? I know it's hard. I have certain triggers too that seem impossible to overcome. But somehow I surprise myself and get through it. I hope you do too.

As far as your dreams...this recently happened to me, same/similar subject. I was blown away by my research and found it to be...in my case...pretty accurate. I did not believe it at first. I saw my dreams as a sign of either what had happened in my life or what was about to. Still scary though, no matter how you look at things.

"As Jeremy Taylor, the world renowned Dream Worker, says "No matter how distressing these images are during the dream, they are almost certainly symbolic pictures of ways in which I am growing and changing, ways in which my life energies are being redirected from old attitudes, perceptions, and self-images.". Taylor has had several decades of experience and his ideas are based on Carl Jung's work, which elaborates how the dreaming mind is always working towards healing and wholeness."

Dreams

keep breathing, just keep breathing. go slow. slow. slow. take breaks. no hurries. ))))))) ) ) )monty girl (((( ( ((((

(((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry.

Hugs,

Jan

cried in the car. just looking out the window. hurt so much nothing can get rid of this pain inside. think, what is this all for? there's nothing. I have nothing. nothing but pain. when does it stop? I'm just tired. So tired.

(((Monty)))..be gentle with yourself..during this most vulnerable of times when the pain is so encompassing..breathe deep..slow..you are in our thoughts as you go thru this..please take care...

Thoughts are with you Monty. Wish there was more that could be offered to help.

Take great care at this time.

(((Monty)))
thinking of you

made it through PT today. My physical therapist is named Steve. He was pretty nice. I have to go 20 times. so 1 down and 19 to go. go back friday for my next visit. my foot hurt a lot and at the end they iced it down for me. still swelling in it. they going to work on my foot a lot. said there is nerver damage and their not sure if I'll be able to move the 2 small toes again. but i got through. did a lot of breathing.

yep, breathing breathing breathing. you can do it. things can improve. support the part who can deal with going there and being touched and all that goes along with pt. after my tp ran out and i didn't have to "pull mself together" to go there anymore, i discovered my parts had formed a coalition to get me through it. the disintegration of this coalition after it was no longer needed alerted me to its existance...... you will work out a way to get through all 20 treatments too!! i bet the pt will help/bring up a whole bunch of stuff you are working on, ya know, move one part and they all have to shift...... Love your hurt foot. breath and love = healing.

TY Bunny, I'm still breathing slowly. I can't even put my shoe on today. Going to try and do my exercises tonight. Got one of those rubberband things and some things to do at home. After he watched me do some exercises he came over and asked me if I could pull my thumbs down to my wrist. Said yeah and showed him. He said that I have a form of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I knew that there was a name for my condition just didn't know what it was. Was born with my one foot pigeon-toed and a hip that dislocates. So now I know the name for it.

I was kind of out of it during PT. Guess going in and out. Guess adjusting to the environment. There were a lot of ppl in there. Just breathing

Thanks Rainbowzz

Really tired and lonely. Have T tomorrow night. Scared. Was so lonely last night I even called the "m". She wouldn't talk. she has a new bf and he was coming over. nothing changes. never had time for me when I was little. why should I think that anything has changed?

H say's I spend to much time on the computer and I need to go out and find real friends. i've never had friends before. so at 33 i'm suppose to go out and get some?? yeah like that will be happening. he say's he's going to take my computer from me. if I didn't have a computer I would get out of bed. I'm either on the computer or in bed. wish ppl could understand.

Lisa,

I'm back - took a brief "can't deal with life" break from PC.

I do soooo understand. I'm 36, without real friends, and am not going out now and looking for friends IRL. Makes me feel anxious just thinking about it. What am I supposed to say, "Hi, my life is a mess just about now and I'm in perpetual crisis mode. Wanna get some coffee?"

Seriously, being able to talk to ppl here has really been, well, a lifesaver. Some of this stuff is so overwhelming and just too difficult for others who don't have DID (or PTSD or abuse) to really understand.
My hubby is only able to listen to certain aspects of my DID, but some things are just too difficult for him to even listen. I guess that is what a T is for, in addition to the ppl here.

Are you still having time off from work? I think that might help give you time to recover from the PT.

Hope that you feel better soon-

((((hugs))))

Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth,
Sometimes those breaks are the best thing you can do for yourselves.

I think that ppl who aren't DID maybe don't understand how isolated we were as children and we don't have the social skills to have friends. I never played with children growing up unless it was my sister. Wasn't aloud to. So I have a very hard time interacting with ppl on any kind of level. Takes being able to trust ppl to be able to be friends. I don't have that much trust in ppl. But like you being here and being able to talk to ppl who understand what I'm saying is the only thing that saves me somedays.

I go back to work on the 11th of Sept. I talked to someone I know on the internet who's a PTand she said I need to talk to them about my pain. May have to slow down a little with what I'm doing now.

((((((((( Hugs ))))))))) Hope your doing better dealing.

Lisa

((((((((((monty)))))))))) I'm glad PT went better than expected. I wish for fast healing. So understand lack of social abilities. There is a similar problem here due to lack of feeling safe. Hope things look up for you soon. Thinking of you.