[Kiya]

had a DID friend go into DBT... because she injured in dissociative states, they told her that dissociating would be her "behavior to monitor and stop" and that when she dissociated, she would have to leave group and leave one-on-one until she got control (which is like ha ha ha). Needless to say, it didn't work out for her. I also wish you better luck Gr3tta.

[Kiya]

Clarity - I'm glad you could stand up for yourself and really take a stand at work. That takes guts! Hoping you find a good job soon!

We are doing something different. I'll let em check in every now and then- maybe.

Steve

I hate it when he does that. Typical egotistical male syndrome. He's actually out voted, even with those of his own kind? Ugh! Lol.

This is such a hard way to exist. Sometimes a deep deep sleep makes better sense then being alive and awake in this craziness.

Who needs enemies when we have inner battles? A black eye will heal, inner pain doesn't.

-_-

Let us get real. I'm here to make things happen. We can sit around and wish this or that all week long doing nothing about it, I'm here to make it happen. True I can be a cold fish, but that's the trade off....nothing's funny at the moment.

We're seperated from our partner but live in the same house (it takes both of our income to get by), the place is a shambles, the body's gained too much weight, we need more work action, things needs fixin, shall I go on?

Can we find a balance between "outs" and "ins"? It doesn't seem like it. No ones motivated like I am, I get the job done, and it looks like a lot of work from here on.

So with that being said, we are now taking care of business. I'm the leader now. It's not like I'm not in total control because I can feel the others fighting to get out, but it has to be this way. The others do their job and we'll be all right. What ever happens happens. We will see!

Oh noooo! The worker didn't show up for work today and I ended up there! Omg, I'm pretending to act like him, but I'm slipping up and acting like myself- Shelly. I keep catching myself but it's not going well. I know what's going on, at least it's cleaning and painting- anyone can do that, but I'm afraid of doing anymore than that.

At least it's with Old Ms Linberg (80) and she isn't catching on I think. I hope the worker gets up. We had too much grape juice last night (embarrassing). I was late but I found an excuse to leave but have to go back in a while. Maybe if I drink more coffee?

Omg! Lol. We haven't done anything today so far because Ms Linberg won't quit talking! Which of course I'm fine with.

Only 3 more hours to go. If I take a 2 hour lunch, we will be done!

I guess I'm out because I'm a happy one. The last time we felt like this, the worker growled and snapped at her.

We've realized that we have to be nice.

Okay, the worker said he would of took the day off....and he did! Lol

It was fun getting out. We went and had burgers and posted above. Went shopping, painted a room, and now we are drinking some grape juice.

We are watching football. I like football, it's like guys in tights beating each other up over a ball.

[Claritytoo]

Still feeling depressed over the death of my dog. She was with me for 12 years. I am renovating my bathroom to keep busy but it is this time of day when I think of her most.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Still feeling depressed over the death of my dog. She was with me for 12 years. I am renovating my bathroom to keep busy but it is this time of day when I think of her most.

So sorry to hear about your dog Claritytoo 😥 Those damned canines are the best friends we'll ever have. I still miss my two every day, and they've been gone nearly 20 years. I really feel for ya Hun x

I'm in a low.

Possible trigger:

Do you ever feel like you have too many responsibilities to just say eff it and let go of life?

Too much crazy at home, work, relationships, parenting, family, inside.

When I want too, others won't let me. We weren't meant to be.

[darkpurplesecrets]

Feeling really out of sorts. So scared but trying hard not to be or at least not to show it. Mind feels like it is racing with thoughts that make no sense or make so much sense that it is pushing me into utter silence. Trying to hide within a shutdown yet scared to be alone. What a confusing state not only to ourselves but to anyone trying to care. Leaving for a trip in the morning, a trip where it feels the world now does not exist. Trying so had to stay positive and focused, but focus seems to not be possible or at least very difficult. Crying help me yet there is nothing anyone can do. So silently crying no one can hear you knowing full well this is a choice we have made, even so the terror and upset within both myself and those within is pushing silence to a level we have known before, a silence so devastating and alone, a silence where life felt too much to go on. Just feel scared and silent.............................................................

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Justagir1

So sorry to hear about your dog Claritytoo 😥 Those damned canines are the best friends we'll ever have. I still miss my two every day, and they've been gone nearly 20 years. I really feel for ya Hun x

Thanks for the kindness. I have been thinking about this depressed mood I am experiencing. It's not like clinical depression but it is like a depressive funk I seem to be stuck in. I don't recall this mood lasting more than a few days. It's now been a few weeks. I am not sure what to make of it. I sometimes feel like crying out of no where. I can still appreciate a sunny day and the sounds of birds in the trees but soon after I am back in the funk. I don't feel like I am switching from good mood to funk, more like a break in the funk because something around is cool or warm. These are times when I wish I had someone to curl up with.

[AlbertaBeefy]

Hi folks. It's been a month since I checked in. Sorry.

Only able to work about 10 days of the past 30, so paycheques don't look too good.

On the plus side - I have found a new therapist who might be a good fit. I've met with her 3 weeks in a row now. The downside is my insurance doesn't cover her (She's a social-worker instead of a psychologist). But I haven't found any psychologists who I 'fit' with and who work with DID.

This new therapist - trauma/traumatic-dissociation is basically ALL she does.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by AlbertaBeefy

Hi folks. It's been a month since I checked in. Sorry.

Only able to work about 10 days of the past 30, so paycheques don't look too good.

On the plus side - I have found a new therapist who might be a good fit. I've met with her 3 weeks in a row now. The downside is my insurance doesn't cover her (She's a social-worker instead of a psychologist). But I haven't found any psychologists who I 'fit' with and who work with DID.

This new therapist - trauma/traumatic-dissociation is basically ALL she does.

I too have found the best DID therapists to be social workers! Wish you had it covered! I will be changing insurances to try and get the one I need to work with. Best to you!

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Still feeling depressed over the death of my dog. She was with me for 12 years. I am renovating my bathroom to keep busy but it is this time of day when I think of her most.

awwww ((((((((Clarity)))))))))

[Kiya]

(((((((((((DPS))))))))))))
Hoping the trip with go over well.
Take care!

[Kiya]

Irritated. Somewhere between 'I have needs, needs aren't getting met, it could be worse, at least I can get by on my own, and f it." Think that sums it up.

[Claritytoo]

Yesterday, again feeling really depressed, I recalled a friend of mine telling me that last year when he was depressed his GP prescribed vitamin D. I also was thinking about how much I worked out side in the bright sun all summer getting plenty of vitamin D. So last night I took some extra vitamin D and I began to feel much better. This morning I woke up still missing my Emma but not feeling such a depressed funk. I take an antidepressant once a day and wasn't about to increase that. I am hoping I might have jumped started my own positive body chemistry by taking the vitamin D. I will ask my Dr about the benefits or possible negatives of extra vitamin D. I just wanted to share this with the community. And say thanks for the positive words. They did help and I didn't feel so alone.

[AlbertaBeefy]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Yesterday, again feeling really depressed, I recalled a friend of mine telling me that last year when he was depressed his GP prescribed vitamin D. I also was thinking about how much I worked out side in the bright sun all summer getting plenty of vitamin D. So last night I took some extra vitamin D and I began to feel much better. This morning I woke up still missing my Emma but not feeling such a depressed funk. I take an antidepressant once a day and wasn't about to increase that. I am hoping I might have jumped started my own positive body chemistry by taking the vitamin D. I will ask my Dr about the benefits or possible negatives of extra vitamin D. I just wanted to share this with the community. And say thanks for the positive words. They did help and I didn't feel so alone.

There's considerable research as well as anecdotal evidence showing B12 and Folic acid can help with depression as well.

When my wife came off anti-depressives she found B12 *very* beneficial.

And "Hi" everyone. Not much sleep last night, but doing more-or-less OK so far.

Originally Posted by AlbertaBeefy

There's considerable research as well as anecdotal evidence showing B12 and Folic acid can help with depression as well.

When my wife came off anti-depressives she found B12 *very* beneficial.

And "Hi" everyone. Not much sleep last night, but doing more-or-less OK so far.

not much sleep sucks. (story of my life though)

been feeling relatively good, though nothing special or to write home about.

somewhere not quite happy, but not quite depressed either

It's like every time I get back on here, all my avatars, stories, sayings have been changed

My profile page was all black! It took forever to find the edit button. I hear laughing in the background.

Why can't they just leave well alone! It takes so much work to put it back to where I liked it in the first place, if I can remember

Call me lazy!

There should be a save style button so everyone can have their own at the touch of a button. Hmmm, I might pass that thought along to the programmers!

You know, all things considered, it's kinda funny because other than ourselves, who else gets to deal with stuff like this?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Maintaining as Scarlett! Yay! Happy to be back and somewhat in control, but everything is different from when I was last front and center...I'm sad and confused. This is not my world...and I am terrified that I'm gonna get locked away again, when Holly is "fixed".... Even My Rockstar is not the man I remember... it's not fair!! I'm having serious trust issues with Vicki. She has changed. She hides stuff from me, she is cold and distant, acts like she is the boss of me!! I can't find Holly anymore...There are others I am ok with but they are NOT MY FAMILY...everything is a mess. I feel used. : (

[Georgia Bridge]

Be not here.
Me be left-overs.
Everything go gray.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Bad last few days lots of confusion and stress got scared family party wanted to go but couldn't cope needed to run. Vicki helped. She went and I hid. Saddness and anger at myself and scared of my Rockstar (husband) cuz he kept insisting I was saying stuff I wasn't saying and doing things I am unaware of purposefully and that we are all trying to push him away. Idk who or what changed him... something bad lives in there the bad wants to destroy our happiness. He was even mean to Vicki too. Woke up shaking and foggy today. Didn't feel like me. Everybody has been SO noisy and bugging me to come out all day and nite!! I just needed to be alone!! Freaked out. Calmed down. Couldn't think like Jello brain. My Rockstar was nice again tonite but got upset that I was distracted couldnt Block out all the chatter...He understands but just wants it to be us as much as I do... no sleep tonite tried to write but the noise wouldn't stop!! Can't even watch a movie. It seems to be getting quieter now. Maybe I'll be able to relax. I hope I get sleep and wake up in the body back to normal. *sigh... too much... Everyday is a work in progress...last few..were DEF not forward.. grrr. ~Scarlett◇