Driving and Dissociation

when i drive i tend to dissociate ....and its not the kind where we always do where we forget how we got there kinda thing but something gets us there....for me...its completely ....nothing...not there...blank....and i got into a really bad accident that way...i mean ER bad....and i got my license suspended for 6 months which i was really happy about.....but i couldnt just tell everyone i blanked out....first of all no body would believe me...besides...i didnt even know what dissociation meant...but now that i saw this on here i knew exactly what happened...but now everyone wants me to drive and i have my license back...but im so scared....i dont know what to do...does anyone have any ideas to either keep from dissociating? (i really dont know how to stop it, or understand why i do it so badly when i drive) or ways/or excuses to never drive again...im trying to save peoples lives here....including myself...i mean im trying to be responsible....but people keep pushing me to drive and get a car....i dont know..im scared...help!!

Well it's understandable that you are worried about driving again after what happened.

Maybe an idea to have someone else with you in the car, the first time you go back to driving, someone to calm you down.

Try and use things to keep you grounded while driving. I have a marble in my car that rolls around and taps when I go round a bend!..............It helps to keep me in the here-and-now.

Hope you have a T to share this with.

Take care.

Whew, inny, that's a tough on and I'm so glad that you're accepting of the concerns there.

I like pegasus' idea. It would work if you're open with those in your life that you're a dissociator? If so, might that work?

If not (which I understand because I've told little), then I don't know that I would drive at all until something's been worked out with the part of me that's driving...to share the experience for the benefit of all including those in other cars.

I wish you well on this, hon. Please let us know what you're doing there?

KD

(((Inny)))

You must be so scared. I know there are times I am like where am I am - where was I going - what time is it. This scared the bejesus out of me. Fourtunely I have not ever had an accident because of this I can't even imagine. Do you have a T?

Sorry this happened to you hon.

((((((((((((((( inny )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((((Inny))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that this is happening and people are pushing you to drive. I can only imagine how scary that is. I think having someone with you is a good idea. Maybe a T could help you with your dissociation and then it will be safer to drive. I am glad you are being safe. Take care.

BB

((((((((((((( Inny ))))))))))))

That must be so scary for you

Maybe for now, you could tell people that you're too scared to drive again, or you're not ready for it? Then they might get off your back until you've decided how you're going to approach the problem.

thank you so much!!!

((((pegasus))) I like the idea of someone else in car with me, they just cant leave ...lol ever....i do like the idea of a marble ...i cant use music though cuz that makes my dissociation worse...so perhaps i will use the marble and see what happens...

((((Kimmydawn)))) your right....i havent told anyone actually....i tried to talk to my boyfriend....but i dont think he...actually understands...grasps the whole concept....to him, your "there" ..there is no concept of being nowhere....but im trying...

(((Purplemoon))) Im so glad that you never had an accident due to it ...and i am praying that you never do...its terrifying isnt it? I didnt snap out of it until i realized i was skidding into another car....not pretty....

(((((Fuzzybear))))) thanks so much for your support

(((((Bipolar Bear))))) Yea, your right about the T, i need someone to help me through this, however i dont have one ....the first one quit on me after the third session, so....i dont know any others yet in this area...im still trying to look for one....

((((Silver queen)))) ive tried telling people im to scared....and they keep telling me that i just need to get back on the horse.....and i want to say....well would you get back on a horse...then go really fast....then have someone put a blindfold over your eyes? No? I think not....sigh....

and im not even really worried about myself....im more worried about everyone else....i dont want anyone at all to get hurt...not even to have bruise....and if something really really bad happens to someone else...i would never ever ever forgive myself...and what happens when i have children......i wish i was rich enough to have a driver......

thanks so much again everyone for all of your support...it means alot to me....

I have a part that drives as well. She is rather.. .hmm.. .she can be a bit "controlling" at times, and she makes quite sure that nobody else besides the two of us drive. There are safeguards she uses, but once you're actually driving if no one is in charge, it could get hairy. Perhaps, if you can identify a mature, adult part you guys could work out a system. I don't know how mine did it, but it seems to work pretty well. The only thing that kind of freaks me out is sometimes I'll "come aware" in the car and not recall starting, or I'll be the one to start driving and then find myself somewhere I don't remember going to.

((((gracey))) i dont know if i have parts or not....its all fuzzy....i barely just learned about dissocation ....im very new to all of this...all i know it that there are times where i cant "come back" or i dont remember....or ....i cant control what im doing....its all very weird to me....all very embarrassing to say the least....

I do some dissociating while driving as well, and just yesterday was in a very near scrape that could have been very serious, and sure the other driver was swearing the Hell out at me!
For me, when I drive, which I must do, I try to focus all the time on my surroundings, aware of the rear mirrors to right and left, my speed, forcing myself to stay focused on all the factors of safety. I am supposed to drive 3.5 hours to my daughter's house in the next week, and have realized lately that I don't enjoy driving because it is much work for me, remaining focused....but!!! I must! If you are going to drive, Inny...try practicing as I do on remaining focused on all the factors.
Patty

Hi Inny,

I am a singleton, but I do dissociate sometimes. I use cold to help me through panic attacks and to help me stay focused. If you turn your ac up really high and have something ice cold to drink or touch it would help you.

I really like Pegasus' idea about the marble.

I salute you for trying to keep both you and others safe. The only thing I can think of is to talk to your pdoc and t about this. Explain the situation and see what they think.

I remember having panic attacks that were totally out of control and my father would force me to go get things for him. The effect of me was horrific. Stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone push you to do something with which you arnen't comfortable.

Hugs,

Jan

My T had me buy a kitchen timer and keep it on my visor. I would reset it every fifteen minutes.

((((Seeker)))) Im so glad you werent hurt!! And your absolutely right....safe driving should be practiced at all times....i do that...it just sneaks up on me .....i dont know how....

(((((January)))) I do need to get a therapist and pdoc....do you suggest i should get one before i start driving? I dont even know why i dissociate while i drive....as for something cold...perhaps an ice pack on my leg or arm would work.....
i dont know about a cold drink...but an ice pack might work...
and your right i do need to stand up for myself

((((Petunia)))) thats a great idea about a kitchen timer....i guess i could use my cell phone and just hit the snooze button and it will keep going off and get louder every time it has to ring....i should try that ....

((((((((((((inacorner)))))))

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I don't remember driving for the most part but because I never really have, I didn't really think about it until recently.

I have been in an accident but it was very minor and at a time when my son was just hospitalized and so there was more stress than usual so I think that contributed to it.

I did speak to my T about it but we kind of came to the conclusion that whatever my brain is doing, it is working for the most part (There have been instances that daughter has disagreed though).

I would say if you are afraid to drive, do what you can do to not drive until you are comfortable to do so. I've just not really given a lot of thought to it because I have always kind of ended up places and never really thought about it being odd (which makes me rather odd I think lol).

I agree with Jan that a therapist of some kind might be able to help you figure things out and help you get stronger in taking care of self (I say that with a voice speaking to myself as well because I do struggle with being able to do that and I understand how hard that is...)

Best of luck as you figure things out.

((((((( Inny ))))))))

I really think you should get professional help. An ice pack is a wonderful idea. I liked Petunia's idea about the timer. Cold works for me, maybe the timer or marble would work for you, but you need professional help to see why you're dissociating and how you can stay safe in the here and now.

Hugs,

Jan

(((((Wanttoheal)))) Yea, it probably isnt too worrying as long as you continue to get where you are safely....thats why i am worried though....i shut down i guess....i am unable to do anything at all...and what i noticed is that my foot got heavy and i apparently started speeding....i didnt have any control cuz its like i wasnt there...and all i know is when i "woke up" i was going 10 miles over the speed limit (i always go the speed limit) and i was so scared seeing this stopped car coming up faster and faster at me....

((((January))) i think i should get someones help too....i guess the problem is i need to learn how to either stop dissociating ...or learn how to control it....

even as i talk about it i feel like im on the edge of a cliff ( i get that feel everytime i start dissociating...ive noticed this)

InAcorner,
I just wanted to say that I also am knew to understanding that I have had probably for half of my life DID....I didn't realize that is waht is was until therapy..My therapist recognized it well three of them did and I wasn't told until I was hospitalized this year that I actually had it when I admitted stuff that was going on..I guess I had changed allot during sessions that I wasn't present with...I actually though have been to the point whereas I didn't know until this last week that I had an accident that I have told NO ONE about until I have read your thread that I was NOT driving and until pulled up into the driveway realized I did something wrong...I know what I did cuz I had 2 passengers and luckily NO ONE else was involved....I did over 5thousand dollard damage to the car I just got five days before..I didn't even know how it happened still don't...I was so scared to drive afterwards..I am also struggling with that and now that I have lost a couple of hours this last week I know things are happening more...I understand your being worried and heisitant and Me so far I am just being plain honest...I know I know that may be hard people may look at you differently I am married three kids and stuff but I figure I don't like you want to kill someone else or ME!!! I like the marble Idea too...Usually I have the three kids so that keeps me alert!!!! Thank goodness but I don't drive that much for that reason...I wish I could be of more help..Just wanted you to know that your not alone in this...Best to U, Nerak

{{{{{Inny}}}}} sweetie, there are many kinds of DID that aren't MPD.

Driving is a trigger for us too, the most likely time for us to diss out Fortunately, Seven has learned to drive relatively safely, but we still diss out totally sometimes & get totally lost & have accidents. Don't ever try to explain to the cops or insurance companies.

Please PM us Inny darling, we have info on this subject

Sorry to be so late answering

((Inny))

I dissociate plenty. I think the ideas of using the marble for sound or a timer are good ones. You can train your mind to respond to the sound as a pull to the hear and now. Staying in the present is the challenge, and I think that driving can be somewhat hypnotic so it triggers us.

However, if you don't want to drive, then don't. Simply tell people that you don't want to drive Who cares if they want you to? Tell them you have anxiety because of the accident, then maybe they will help you find a T?

Don't do what you don't feel safe doing. Your safety comes first.

Best of luck and take gentle care.