eating disorder's daily check in spot

I honestly don't believe what "they say" the bottom line is that ED's are so totally individual & they can be just as damaging in their individuality as they are when they are "text book" BS.

I would say that usually people who restrict because they don't want food in their body or in my case, when I get stressed I get so sick feeling that I can't tolerate eating so binging wouldn't be an option........I restricted & for awhile & also used laxitives which was about the stupidest thing I could have done....but then I wasn't very wise & I didn't care if I was wise at that time anyway.

Had ice cream for dinner after having pot luck at church for lunch. Feel so disgusting now and it is hours later. I need to stop eating like this.

I wouldn't believe the "status quo" so to speak.

I have been down the hell hole and back multiple times and weighed everywhere from 310 to 110 (at 5'7"). So it's definitely possible, and it sucks.

Made dinner plans this evening, next evening, and Thursday evening. I'm determined to fight back against this incredibly powerful impulse to restrict. One unwanted meal at a time.

Having a hard time these days. I think I have thrush from taking a really strong antibiotic and prednisone at the same time. Everything tastes funny and it feels like I have cotton in my mouth. I can't see my GP until Thursday at the earliest.

I got hyponatremia and bronchitis and I think the antibios are giving me a "weight gain"... stressing out. It's hard to think logically when the numbers aren't where you want them.

I don't have thrush, thankfully. My GP thinks it is my acid reflux acting up from the antibiotic. So she said to take my Prilosec twice a day for a week and see how I feel after that.

I bought two new pairs of jeans in two different sizes because my jeans are getting tight. Both pairs of the new jeans fit. I don't like what size they are and wish they were different sizes or at least both the same size. The only plus is that they were $5.00 each on the clearance rack.

I also found out how much I weigh and that I have been putting on weight consistently for a few months. I am so afraid that I am going to get fatter.

I am having serious issues at work this week and it's a breeding ground for my eating disorder. Nothing like a healthy dose of insecurity and being targeted by others to make all impulses to control food, body, weight, etc. stronger than recent history.

Today did not go well in the ED world. :/

Found out how much I weigh has sent me into a huge tailspin. I haven't had anything to eat in almost 24hrs and would keep going except that I live with my parents and eat dinner with them. I really don't want to eat. I need to lose this extra weight.

Hating this weight gain. I just want to stop eating again or purging. I know I shouldn't but I'm miserable. And I'm tired of fighting this.

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I have a friend living with me for the next couple to make sure I'm eating regularly. This is the only thing keeping me out of the hospital rn. It has been a bad week...

I'm just such a mess. SO FRUSTRATED today. I can't eat normally, it's always either not enough or way too much.

Rough week. Nutritionist appointment this am that was all right. I weigh-in at the end of session without knowing what the results are. My N tells me I'm under my goal range now - this was actually surprising to me. I am that disconnected. I don't see it and I don't notice. I know what I am and am not eating and know it is logical... but I don't feel it.

Trying to psych myself up to order lunch. It shouldn't be this difficult. I feel so... lost.

Having a miserable time in IOP hating the fact that I know with recovery comes weight gain. I'm trying so hard not to purge, I just feel like giving up

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I lost my ability to throw up. I tried for 15 min. My glands are now swollen and my throat is sore. I also lost my gag reflex. It has been a rotten week and my bulimia is back to full swing. Made it a month free one time.

I can't even open my cupboard without having a panic attack I need someone to cook for me. Bleh. I hate this. I want to eat, I feel hunger, why can't I just put food in my mouth without freaking out over it like a normal person?

A few days ago I had a panic attack at the grocery store because I couldn't handle the thought of eating. Yesterday and today I can't stop eating. Then my roommate made a comment about how much I eat, and I'm so ashamed I just want to curl up in bed and cry.

Bingeing and purging a lot more. I really hate all this weight gain. I lost a lot of weight at the beginning of the year due to anxiety. I needed to gain some of it back, but I've gained more than I needed. Ugh. Now I'm heavier than ever.

Miserable. I went grocery shopping and freaked out. It was all I could do to not start crying. I hate this.

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Today was a little better. We had potluck at church and I took very small portions. I even ate some desserts. I had a bowl of homemade gluten free mac and cheese for dinner about 30mins ago.

Had a good day today didnt purge day 2 so proud of myself but I also havent had anything really to eat kinda in a restrictive phase of ed. Bck to IOP tmrw ugh I hate that place

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I thought today was a better food day. It felt almost normal. But tracking it at the end of the day for a food journal... I'm still way, way off. In that place of eating too much for the ED to be happy but far too little for recovery to be happy. :/ Any my scale officially died, so I don't have the solace of knowing my numbers.

I've been over-eating every single day and I feel awful about it. At this point, I'd rather go back to having a restrictive eating disorder than to deal with this.

breakmystride: I am right there with you. I have found myself going from severely restricting to over-eating a few days later. I hate the cycle. I keep gaining weight and can't stand that, which causes me to want to restrict more. If only I could get back to my "safe" weight I would be happy.

I think I have looked at all of the food in the house in the past 15 minutes but I haven't eaten anything in nearly 5 hours (a snack) and my last real meal was almost ten hours ago. I am so hungry why can't I make myself eat I want to be asleep.