eating disorder's daily check in spot

Overate at a church potluck today. I'm feeling very guilty and anxious that other people might have noticed and be judging me. And I'm feeling bad about how much weight I've gained since last Christmas, and stressed that I might accidentally overeat at Christmas dinner with my family and have to go through the exact same thing as Thanksgiving when everyone teased me for getting fat.

I haven't really been able to access my desire to recover for the past few weeks. Skipped two of three meals yesterday. What I do "want" to eat is all semi-solids so I don't have to feel full. Emotional regulation at a low.

I am shocked that I haven't gained more than the little bit that I have over the holidays since it felt like I was always eating.....but I guess the days in between those eating helped keep it lower than I thought it was going to be. I have actually eaten whole plate full's of dinner & not left anything. I didn't pile the plate high & I didn't go back for seconds at the buffets but I ate & felt comfortable...never pushed eating to where I felt too full......this cold weather must be helping wear off the calories also & I keep my home temp lower because I can't afford the heating bill otherwise & use a space heater in my bedroom & bathroom to keep warm in those rooms.

I have to be careful about getting too cold because the cold triggers my migraines. I know that the weight I gained will be easily lost when I end up having my oral surgery soon.......so not going to worry about it at this point even though I felt much heaver than what the scaled actually weighed......that was a huge surprise.

Worried that I'm developing 'new' ED behaviors.

I haven't posted in this thread in a long time, either. Mainly because I seem to be either lapsing or relapsing. Time will tell, I guess. Either way, it's always embarrassing to admit that. I am trying to fight, but I am struggling. Isolation seems to be the beast that causes me to fall the hardest.

Ugh, sick with a horrible cold & feeling the chills & just not feeling like eating food with all the crud from the cold.....need to drink fluids & really need hot tea because I have the chills & really just want to go to bed.......then I scheduled the oral surgery for next friday but don't think I'm going to be well enough long enough & need some good feeling time before I totally destroy my eating having all my teeth removed......this cold has already started the weight loss happening & food doesn't even settle well ATM.......not a good place to be at this point in time.....I have too much that has to be done to feel crapy on top of it. or not have energy from not eating.

You can know what you need but it's not always easy to force it to happen

I just binge so bad last night. I have been going through a lot of major life stresses and feel very lonely

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

First post!

I'm having a hard time with urges to restrict today. Fridays are big trigger days for me. I keep telling myself that if I eat today, I wont end up in the hospital in a few months down the line.

Hope everyone else is well!!

Saturdays are hard for me, too! (haha, are there really any days that aren't difficult for one reason or another?!) The combination of a lot of unstructured time and anxiety about the upcoming week make Saturdays really unpleasant for me. I've historically been called out and "intervention-ed" for engaging in ed behaviors on Saturdays, too.

Edit to add: I did pretty good with my eating yesterday, though it was hard. So there's no reason why I can't kick *** today, right?

It's scary how normal it feels to use disordered behaviors sometimes. I'm wondering if I need to get help again.

Pulling myself back together after a bit of a slip... I purged a few times, but didn't today so that's another step forward. Still struggling with restriction though

I binged on a safe food and feel awful. Both physically (way too much fiber) and emotionally. Guess I have one less safe food now.

Its been.... An awful week. Massively stressful things happening, my t canceled cuz she's sick, I was pretty far iNto recovery and now I'm sliding again and losing weight. I was hoping therapy would push me back on track but it got canceled and now I'm all alone

I've been crying for hours. I'm so fat, I can't believe I let this happen. I hate my life.

Breakmystride- I'm right there with you... Good luck

first post in here.
I'm struggling right now. Doing a play so I need to eat something to be able to perform but it's so hard. I'm on a waiting list for treatment. Hopefully that will help but I don't know how to get through the next few months while I'm waiting.

One day at a time. Today is a new day.

Saw my dietician today. I've lost more weight without trying. I started a new job Thanksgiving and it is physically demanding. She thinks that is why I am losing weight. I am not in the danger zone yet, however we don't want me getting there either. I work 12 hour days and get home around 8-8:30pm and don't want to eat a heavy meal, so I don't eat. I also have this thought that eating after a certain time isn't good for me. I know that this is the ED talking and not a rational thought.

Blugh, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, not looking forward to it. :/ :/ Appointments with her are anxiety city.

I used to work 12s. It is very difficult to keep a normal sleep and eat schedule with those hours. I had to eat throughout the day if I had any hope of getting all my calories in. I hope it gets easier for you.

Third consecutive day of 2000+ cals in recovery. I feel like I'm eating all the time and I always feel full. It makes me tired so I end up napping after my larger meals. It's like the holidays everyday.

I hope you get the treatment you need. The waiting is the worst. Hang in there.

It's good that you know the difference!! That's so huge!
Bodies are so frustrating. The same thing happened with me when I started a (part time, mostly sitting/desk!) job last year. That weight loss sneaks up on ya!

Hello and good evening/good day everyone here on the ED thread. Boy I so DETEST and HATE that feeling of being ''fat''. Yes, I know that ex~anorexic people who'd been at a low weight for a long time, tend to feel mega huge even if they have only gained one pound in weight. I certainly don't make light of this, as I know the feeling well, it's like loosing absolute control of yourself. Even if you have never, or are not a light weight, if you've been bulimic, you will also feel mega fat when you don't throw up. I totally understand how you are all feeling, I've been there, done it and now got the tee shirts!! I've lost control for now, I think I have although I haven't weighed myself lately, I just ''feel'' as though I have. Good luck peeps and don't forget to come back!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Got out of the hospital after being in it for nearly a month. I GAINED nearly 20 pounds. You don't have to ask how my mind is doing after so much weight being gained. I'm anxious all the time.