[dcs_no1_fan]

I hate how I feel right now things were going so well in my life I went to the doc & got help with my ED then then we moved to a lovely new house & things are going really good I have put on over a stone in weight & everyone tells me that I look great for it.

But why cant I see it I hate my body & the way I look all I can see is fat every were I have started to take slimming tablets again & working out even though I have disabilities that make it nearly impossible to do I look at the photos that I took when I was at my lowest & I like It & want to look like that again but with a bit more weight off me would be nice.

Why do I feel like this again?
I hate feeling so FAT & down all the time
Can anyone help me to feel better I wish I was happy with my self but I just cant be & no one understands how I feel

Hi,
Somewhere along the way somebody told you either directly or indirectly that you were a peice of crap who didn't deserve to be loved and you believed them. And you still believe them. It's not the fat you hate-it's not you you hate-it's that feeling of not being lovable that you're hating on. Lose all the weight you want-do it until you can't lift your head off your pillow but you're still not going to feel good about yourself. You're putting an ice pack on your head to treat an ingrown toe nail by trying to starve that bad feeling out of you. (((((((((((Dcs_no1_fan)))))))))))))))

please try to love you....

(I understand the feeling of hate.)

[dcs_no1_fan]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pickle said:
Hi,
Somewhere along the way somebody told you either directly or indirectly that you were a peice of crap who didn't deserve to be loved and you believed them.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

My sister told me from as little as I can remeber that I was Thick, Fat & Ugly & that I would never get anywere in life & yes I do beleive that I know it was only because she was fatter thatn me as I was always so skinny but I still cant get this hate out of my head

[dcs_no1_fan]

thanks freewill I will try to love my but I just cant do it I try everyday & even with all the love & support from my husband & kids I just cant seem to do it

[Direction]

I think the realization that it really is deeper than just the food is a big step...

[Irine]

it`s gonna take time and self work...........i agree with Direction!
but do you feel that way just about the weight or about other things as well?

you went to a therapist?

i just don`t understand: you are skinny or fat?
you were always thin and then your sister brainwashed you about being fat?

[louloubelle]

I know how you feel. I recently lost a ton of weight, and now some people are commenting that I'm looking a little thin. But I really don't see it. I still feel like "just a few more pounds". I once went out with a guy who told me I am ugly and fat and I won't ever get anyone like him. I then starved myself for days to lose weight and when I told him he actually said to me "maybe you need to starve yourself a bit more then". People like that are jerks and don't know what they are talking about. I still look in the mirror and see ugly, even though twice in the past month someone has asked if I was a model. try as I might its hard for me to see that. Let people who love you be your guide. If they really feel you look too thin, they are probably right, as we ourselves will never see it. So trust those who love and care about you, and talk to those who will support you. It's important for you and your kids that you are healthy and well.

[dcs_no1_fan]

Thanks everyone for your replys I know that your right its just hard I didnt see a T I wanted to do it on my own now its to late I wish that I had.
I know that deep down my sister just wanted to be me I am 121 lb at the moment & she is probley about 250 lb she has always been a big girl but she has always seamed happy I wish that I was.