[Mountaindewed]

My mom says I'm not eating enough. I swear my therapist better not suggest anything because I don't even want to talk about food with her. Everything is disgusting me.

[Blueberrybook]

Some days I feel I'll never be over this

[Blueberrybook]

Have been depressed, have lost some weight not eating enough for my activity level. Mostly just apathy, hungry but just don't feel like eating. Most of the time with my ED I was always hungry and always felt like (wished) I could eat and eat and not gain an ounce. But I had lunch today even if I didn't exactly want to. Small wins, I guess.

[Blueberrybook]

Exercising way too much lately...

How is everyone else doing? Anyone else find the holidays god-awful for EDs? All these get-togethers, meals, eating. I HATE it!

[MuddyBoots]

I'm managing. Thoughts of purging after eating have been popping in a little more frequently than normal. I still am having a lot of difficulty eating, but good old Mary Jane has been helping me out with that when we get together. 80% of what I ate for a week after Thanksgiving was stuffing haha my poop looked funky.

[Blueberrybook]

I am exercising too much lately. Had a doctor's appt, lost some weight. ED thoughts like that. I am still a normal BMI for my height, but low normal now.

[MuddyBoots]

I'm in a cycle of restricting (yeah, restricting, I'm not going to even bother claiming "low appetite" because if I probably could eat), but then saying "oh, that's unhealthy" and smoking weed to make eating easier, and then feeling guilty about eating too much (although it's not true binging) and purging.

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry about that muddy. It's a hard habit to break. I dealt with that type of ED, not bingeing but eating close to normally then purging, though through excessive exercise in my case. It is such a hard cycle to break.

[Blueberrybook]

Almost done with the holidays, thank goodness though we are having a late extended family Christmas with my family on the 28th. Which I'd rather not. There's always the issue of food and then people scrutinizing me, my senseless dad saying things like, "You look like you've gained some weight. You look good." Absolutely the WRONG thing to say to anyone with an ED. Or my aunt saying, "Have you lost weight since last year?" and then lecturing me on my weight even though she herself is morbidly obese. And this aunt lectures me on my parenting of my daughter even though she has no kids herself. Food everywhere, food out all day, house too full of people and you can't even go for a walk because they live in an area with no leash laws and people have all sorts of mean dogs just roaming loose all over the place.

Yeah, can't wait for that to be over.

[Blueberrybook]

I know "fat" is not a feeling...but I feel fat today. I already feel guilty for baking banana bread, and it hasn't even come out of the oven yet!

[unaluna]

Oh, i think fat is definitely a feeling. At a certain point, i was like, oh! I finally AM as fat as i always felt!

[Blueberrybook]

I hope everyone is doing well. I had to take a rest day from exercise today because of not feeling well, and I feel guilty & anxious about it. ED/OCD combined I think. I really hate that.

[MuddyBoots]

My mom's on another one of her weight loss pushes. I'm triggered. Purged last night.

[Mountaindewed]

I am on a very strict diet for medical reasons so now there are literally bad and good safe/unsafe foods. So I hope this doesn't become an issue. I ate something yesterday morning that caused issues all day. I feel better now though

[Blueberrybook]

This morning I went walking in the cold even though I knew it would flare up my Raynauud's (and boy, did it ever!). I was feeling guilty about doing pilates for exercise (and hence not burning as many calories). Sometimes my exercise gets so extreme, it's as if I want to punish my body.

[Blueberrybook]

Reeled it in today and stuck with pilates. Not nearly as much calorie burn but it's good for toning and probably helps me stay at a healthy weight with those long power walks I've been doing lately.

[Moose72]

I was just told by a nutritionist that I’m severely restricting my food intake. I used to be underweight but I had muscle because of martial arts. Now I have medical reasons I can’t do those anymore. My brain wants it to be like it was 20 years ago but I have serious medical issues from my body storing everything I eat now even though it isn’t much. She said my body is using my muscles for energy even though I am obese according to my primary dr. Life was different before psych meds 20 years ago. I dunno. I am just shocked because she seems to be making me out to be anorexic in my behaviors but I still am much bigger than 20 years ago. This is all so new to me and I’m shocked. I have so many medical problems from being this higher weight it’s not funny! I have liver issues from it and am having a liver biopsy a week from tomorrow because things are so out of control. I blame the 20 years of psych meds. Lately my whole body hurts like I’ve been working out hard. I even went to the dr for all over body aches but every test was negative. I feel like I have the flu. My nutritionist I just started seeing says my body is storing everything I do eat though it isn’t much and using my muscles for fuel. Lately I am very cold. I shiver and can’t warm up. My body temperature is very low too. I needed a hot shower and a hot drink and getting under two blankets and wearing a sweatshirt and jeans to bed just to not shiver yesterday.

[Blueberrybook]

You don't do your body any favors undereating and just cause yourself more medical issues. Though sometimes there are underlying issues like thyroid, iron anemia, lack of sleep contributing to issues as well. There can be issues like fibromyalgia causing severe body aches, and that really doesn't have a firm medical test for diagnosis, just pain at pressure points. Have you seen a rheumatologist? Rheumatologists diagnose issues such as fibro, arthritis, lupus that can cause some of those same issues, so you should rule those out too. I have fibromyalgia and when it flares up, it causes me a lot of pain. I am on Cymbalta (prescribed by pdoc though), and that has helped my fibro and neuropathy. And some things like peripheral neuropathy (which can be caused by prediabetes though mine is idiopathic with no definitive cause) can cause issues with being cold. For example, my feet are always cold from the neuropathy even during summer, and I live in Texas. My body is often very cold during my menstrual cycle at the beginning and midway through no matter the season. And if you're at the age for perimenopause that can cause all sorts of hormone issues too.

But undereating makes everything worse. Bad eating habits don't help anything. All that does is slow your metabolism so that your body burns fewer calories daily resulting in weight gain. Though if the restriction is bad enough you do lose weight such as in anorexia & certain ED behaviors; you can look at Holocaust survivors, people living without adequate food sources in 3rd world countries and see what prolonged starvation does to the body. I still have problems associated with ED behavior such as grinding my teeth (especially at night) which I am told started due to a lack of vitamins during my ED. That has caused me a fortune in dental work, so many crowns I can't even count, teeth breaking off, root canals. Better off nipping bad eating habits in the bud; the longer it goes on, the harder & harder it is to recover. And I still fight to be rid of the ED thoughts as I have posted on this forum, so yes, make an effort to eat enough calories even if you are not hungry or you feel you are really overeating. Trust me, your body will feel so much better physically. It also helps sleep problems and your overall mental health.

[Moose72]

I was diagnosed with arthritis. And I have hypo thyroid. The body aches make me want to sleep in though I get up and go to bed at normal times I will go back to sleep after a couple hours because the muscle soreness exhausts me. I just ate some prosciutto and a few cashews with some milk. I bought some bottled water with electrolytes that I’ve kept with me. Yes I am in perimenopause. My periods were monthly and now my last one was 3 months ago. I grind my teeth too. I wear a bite splint at night.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I just ate some prosciutto and a few cashews with some milk.

Prosciutto is the porn of deli meats - it has no redeeming nutritional value!

If i eat ANY meat on the hoof, it aggravates my arthritis. Lately ive been having rice or quinoa bowls with a block of silken extra firn tofu for protein, with veg or a Tasty Bites pkg or salad dressing. The tofu is completely bland but the sauce makes it okay.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Prosciutto is the porn of deli meats - it has no redeeming nutritional value!

If i eat ANY meat on the hoof, it aggravates my arthritis. Lately ive been having rice or quinoa bowls with a block of silken extra firn tofu for protein, with veg or a Tasty Bites pkg or salad dressing. The tofu is completely bland but the sauce makes it okay.

Good thing it’s gone then. My nutritionist didn’t say I had to eat anything specific just that I had to eat regular meals as all I was eating was one small meal a day.

[Blueberrybook]

I really need to learn to listen to my body. I forced myself to walk longer than I should have even though physically I was exhausted. I know some of it is still rooted in the ED thinking of "I've got to exercise X much to burn off X calories". Maybe some OCD too but I also think ED as well. It still makes me happy when I see smaller numbers on the scale even though I don't need to lose weight. Sigh. Scales are evil!

[Mountaindewed]

I tried eating prosscito or whatever one time until I realized I felt like I was eating boogers or something.

[Blueberrybook]

My weight is bordering on the edge of "I've really got to be careful now, need to eat more." And there's a part of me that feels like, oh what's the harm if I lose another pound or two? I'm not at a critical point by all means but maybe a bit close to teetering.

[Mountaindewed]

My current issue isn't an eating disorder but the meds I've started have reduced my appetite a lot and I'm going hours without eating and also skipping meals because of the meds and the issue itself. Its not an issue right now but I think I need to pay attention to it.