how to develop a hobby?

cusack10 · Sep 14, 2012, 11:36 AM

yes,i know i gotta support myself,but it has to be certain ways in doing so,or i just get burned every time i set off,i need to make sure where the obstacles are and detour them.help me.

optimize990h · Sep 14, 2012, 08:33 PM

do you think your mother will teach you how to cook food? right now, i can not think of anything else that result in success for you. There must be something that your mother would approve of and be acceptable to you as a way of socializing more.

cusack10 · Sep 14, 2012, 09:35 PM

sorry,opti,she is total unreasonable.
here is a question newly brought out by me overnight.some activities which are thoughtful and for peace of mind and with others.list some.

cusack10 · Sep 15, 2012, 02:04 AM

why they got such control on me?one,between parents and kids are domestic affairs according to china tradition,two,people don't know about psychology knowledge...

cusack10 · Sep 16, 2012, 02:16 PM

pick up a skill or art?i haven't found non profit ones.tangled by money in profit ones,the label discriminated in volunteer ones.
some communication with others,some activities with others.
have a big distance with others in mind.where are the things for peace of mind.

cusack10 · Sep 19, 2012, 07:50 AM

it's core unreasonable.it's very primitive a society in china.

cusack10 · Sep 19, 2012, 08:39 AM

no one can deal with home unsafety.

Gr3tta · Sep 21, 2012, 12:25 AM

i am very sorry the home environment feels hostile cusack. that's sad. that's also why i think it's so great you're trying to build some outside connections. that's a really awesome thing for you to do, i think.

cusack10 · Sep 21, 2012, 02:40 AM

hi,i know my goal is the right goal,my direction is the right direction,always.just lacking ways to reach it,to go forward.

Bark · Sep 21, 2012, 02:36 PM

Maybe join a book club or a discussion group, either in person and online. If you meet people online, you might be able to get together with them and meet more people.

anneo59 · Sep 22, 2012, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shezbut

(((cusack10)))

In my opinion, your Q seems pretty vague and difficult to answer.

I don't know what the environment is like in the part off China that you're in. Some parts are rather advanced, others are repressed and old-fashioned. Just in my opinion, over what I've seen on tv. What do I know??

What is your psychological diagnosis? Do you have the patience to learn new skills, or are you seeking immediate gratification? Do you want to work with another, or be able to do the hobby alone?

There are lots of different ideas ~ depending upon what you're truly interested in and able to do. If you have some patience to learn a new skill... how about bowling, shooting pool or miniature golf? These things usually involve playing with others, taking turns, and having group fun. There are also other activities that can be done alone, or with others. Like....fishing, skating or biking and hiking, photography, creative writing, book clubs, etc. I'd advise you to be honest with what your abilities and weaknesses are and make decisions based upon your answers.

Imo, there are always options! You shouldn't have to sit around hopeless, feeling unable to make true friends who can relate and care. We all deserve that in life! Just time to think out of the box ~ and, hopefully, you have the freedom to have some positive experiences in life.

Very best wishes to you!

I, too, don't know about your culture or environment, and I'm sorry that it's so difficult. I've seen some good suggestions on this thread, though. I am glad you do have PC to access, for sure! That is one good thing. I do agree, though, you may have to think outside the box on this one! The best to you!!!!

cusack10 · Sep 23, 2012, 07:08 AM

let me put it even simpliest of simpliest,my families are trying their best to destroy me,their kid,because they are sick and pervert,at the moment,my mom is.but the culture and enviroment place parents to the highest status,so as to kids must listen to parents,...filial(孝顺）。so my mom can do anything sick she wants at me without being intervened.
so that there is a huge gap where i can't hold onto any understanding,...

Perna · Sep 23, 2012, 01:23 PM

I would go to the park, watch the children in the play area and climb the hill and exercise; get yourself physically healthy and let your mind go with the hundreds of children and think about what they will learn and do when they grow up; what you would do if you were one of them to make your life come out differently now?

Maybe there will be a group exercise going on that you can join and maybe you can talk to some people; hang around the card or Majong pavilions and maybe you can find someone to talk and play with?

cusack10 · 12:12 AM

i can't start off with small things,and work them to bigger.she just can sense that,and kill the delight in its starting.
it just happened,i am so depressed.
and for 2 days,can't sleep.with this sadness,i can't go to the activity i just found anymore.

Bark · Sep 28, 2012, 03:16 PM

That's horrible, cusack. But you did find an activity, and that's good! Think of it this way, maybe: every time you start something, she makes you regret it. How about this time, say, "I'll show her, I'll keep going to this activity, no matter what she says, and she'll see how I'm enjoying myself." I know that's much easier said than done, but it looks like she hasn't actually prevented you from going, just made you feel bad. And that's a step. Try to keep going. The more you think about it, the worse you'll feel, but if you go there, at least you'll be happy while you're there.

cusack10 · Sep 30, 2012, 06:17 AM

sigh,i've tried to be good,tried to stay alive,tried to be understood...........

optimize990h · Sep 30, 2012, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cusack10

sigh,i've tried to be good,tried to stay alive,tried to be understood...........

I hope you are feeling better. There is a pen pal social club here at PC, I do not know if that type of activity would be helpful to you.

If I find other ideas, I will post those ideas in this thread.

anneo59 · Oct 01, 2012, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by optimize990h

I hope you are feeling better. There is a pen pal social club here at PC, I do not know if that type of activity would be helpful to you.

If I find other ideas, I will post those ideas in this thread.

sounds like a very helpful suggestion, optimize

anneo59 · Oct 01, 2012, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cusack10

sigh,i've tried to be good,tried to stay alive,tried to be understood...........

Hang in there. I believe we all have a spark of the Divine, if we can tap into it. Plus, when things are hard, we can get into a rut and find it difficult to find solutions, think positively, make good changes. I can tell you are trying though, and have a lot to deal with! The very best to you, along your journey!!!!

cusack10 · Oct 22, 2012, 08:31 AM

i am in sichuan,tough to deal with aunt who is false.

cusack10 · Oct 22, 2012, 08:40 AM

i go toward christ.

Bark · Oct 22, 2012, 03:51 PM

Are there at least more opportunities in Sichuan? Have you been finding things to do?

Have you started going to a church? That can be a good way to meet people.

cusack10 · Oct 23, 2012, 09:35 AM

i haven't done search yet,(been tangled by aunt.)
you gotta know,that i can only do things,but can't fight and argue,which are essential for living in this society.
i will do it tomorrow,i got a number of ...church,i think,by phone number service;on other areas,i haven't seen much positive activities.

anneo59 · Oct 25, 2012, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bark

Are there at least more opportunities in Sichuan? Have you been finding things to do?

Have you started going to a church? That can be a good way to meet people.

I like that idea, and I think that somehow, there's gotta be something for you, cusack, despite your situation. I'm not there with you, or in your head, but I do encourage you to hang in there, and keep open your mind to see any or every possibilities that come along! The best! BTW, I too, have felt really down and blocked before, myself. I do believe there's usually a healthy way out somewhere, in that type of situation!

okala · Oct 26, 2012, 11:54 PM

How about joining a special interest group in the hobby you want to have?

Toastmasters is good if you want to improve your public speaking.

Or, a photography, art, book club. Or even a mental health support club.

Or, a charity group or young professionals group.

You could also engage in your hobby alone. You could get books, watch online how to videos, and start your own hobby or collection. Say, learning to draw nature or collecting stamps. Some hobbies can be done alone at home.

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