how to develop a hobby?

hi,i need some advice.i found no effective support groups for people who have psych problems in china.even the residence community think that we are violent and take guards toward us.though i never hurt anyone,just lack of social skill in my personality,they just don't have the knowledge,push me aside from any activity.as i am always alone,people are calling bad names at me,i just got hit again.so i have to join a social group for some support.but i got no hobbies or i lost them.i have been disjointed from the society for almost ten years because of lacking social skill in my say defective personality.i think there are many concepts for real world i missed out.so is it hobby something you're really into and want to learn despite of disturbances?how to develop one?thank you.

(((cusack10)))

In my opinion, your Q seems pretty vague and difficult to answer.

I don't know what the environment is like in the part off China that you're in. Some parts are rather advanced, others are repressed and old-fashioned. Just in my opinion, over what I've seen on tv. What do I know??

What is your psychological diagnosis? Do you have the patience to learn new skills, or are you seeking immediate gratification? Do you want to work with another, or be able to do the hobby alone?

There are lots of different ideas ~ depending upon what you're truly interested in and able to do. If you have some patience to learn a new skill... how about bowling, shooting pool or miniature golf? These things usually involve playing with others, taking turns, and having group fun. There are also other activities that can be done alone, or with others. Like....fishing, skating or biking and hiking, photography, creative writing, book clubs, etc. I'd advise you to be honest with what your abilities and weaknesses are and make decisions based upon your answers.

Imo, there are always options! You shouldn't have to sit around hopeless, feeling unable to make true friends who can relate and care. We all deserve that in life! Just time to think out of the box ~ and, hopefully, you have the freedom to have some positive experiences in life.

Very best wishes to you!

hi,just a quick response,yes,my thought is vague,i've been in a thought world rather than the real world,too spiritual rather than material,(bong,a disturbance and lost of the thought.),sorry.i don't know what i am good at,good at thinking?...this is just a quick response.

Any hobby I have, I started just by trying something new, something of interest. Somethings that I tried I found I had no passion for; others I became more interested in and so I have continued. The first step is just trying it. A couple of friends have made a list of all the things they might want to try doing and they keep it going as they as they hear or learn of new things to try; they have found some activities along the way they still continue to enjoy and are still looking for others they might. In the process, all are learning a lot of new things.

Best wishes in finding what you are passionate about and enjoy doing. Good luck!

thanks,you two each.too many disturbances.i am not sure i can do that.put it another way,i have money,my mom gives me 300 yuan of pocket money a month,if i don't need to know how to earn money,at least i should know how to spend it.

So many good and insightful answers to you from Fresia and Shezbut. I personally tend to go toward hobbies that are solitary...that is...I need quiet time and alone time to do them, and I like that. I have friends, but when I do things socially, I find myself pretty exhausted due to social anxiety. The things I do as "hobbies" require quiet time and introspection, since most of these are of an artistic nature. Do you have any interest in any of The Arts? I can make suggestions, if you do. Another pasttime, though some wouldn't call it a "hobby," is reading. I have trouble concentrating, but if I manage to focus on an interesting book, I find it is healing in some unexplainable way, probably because it quiets the "chatter" in my brain, and also I'm learning something new.

None of this may be of interest or helpful to you. Just wanted to share!
Patty

point out a fact.my mom is really not on my side in my matters having something to do with outside people.she's just on others' side against me.i am not quite sure the reason,but partly because i am weak in power and status in society,or i literally have the psych problems that make her lose face.so as others outside see that,they got more wild to bully me.for instance,i have my place,two households in a floor in a unit,the internet line outside my door is not covered in tube,the little kid from opposite door pulls it,i talked to the adults,but they don't do as they said,have seen the fact when my mom visited here.when i told mom they move my line,mom said there is no way.just an example,many many this kind of things.
i know they probably won't break the line,but they know they can hit a nerve of me.just an example.

i hope you all just take it into account that my family do not give me moral support on my matters.esp.involving others outside the family.
i am a littile of mess due to the disturbances when i start thinking to respond you.i may screw the post up again,but i hope you can give me the last reply on it.

Hi cusack10. I've read a little bit about mental health in China, and it sounds tough there. Are you in a rural or urban area? If you're near a city, iyou might have more opportunities. Do you have to stay where you're living? It doesn't sound nice, but if you need help taking care of things, you might have to.

A hobby is anything you enjoy, with or without other people. You can repair things, build things, make things, read, write... do you have things you like to do? I can imagine you feel lonely, though, because it seems like no one understands how hard it is for you: looks like your mom would rather you stay at home and not embarrass her in public. It's a shame your own family is against you. Have you seen a doctor about your problems? Do you know what they're called, or you just know there's something different about you?

I tried finding services available in China, but I'm sure they're mostly in Chinese and I won't be able to find them. I did find: http://www.21jk.com.cn/english/artic...rticleId=27412 Perhaps you could e-mail them, or maybe there's a phone number in the Chinese version. I would think they would know about services in your area, or at least have an idea of what you can do.

Hope this was of help.

Bark has good ideas. First step is to find support system near you.

Do you have medication?

Go to the library or bookstore and look in the self help or sociology or health or food section and find a book about budgeting or lifestyles or mental health or cooking, whatever interests you.

One works at a job to earn money to buy food, shelter, and clothing, then other things. Your mother only gives you an allowance but you could make a mini-world with it, practice going out and buying food at restaurants and shops and talking to proprietors and staff, you could learn to cook simple meals to feed yourself or help your mother, you could start a savings plan, only spend 200 yuan a month, save 100 for something bigger; learn to invest it if money management interests you, make yourself some money or start a business of some type or use it to help others. You could learn to make or care for clothes, work with textiles. You could investigate housing.

I love thinking about the top three things everyone needs; food, shelter, clothing and seeing how many different things in those three "needs" there are to explore.

i am grateful that you took the fact into account,bark.i am gonna tell the consultant about it who i found in ad papers recently,you guys give me the courage,it is new here,there's just hospital here on this matter before,which mainly are locked up wards.the fact is an undeniable fact,but denied by people i talked to here for years and that's something therefore leaves me so little space to think normally.because in our culture,we don't say much about parents' fault,most of time we say it is so hard they raise us to what we are that we always should be thankful....i do have the diagnosis name for my problem here,but as i said,they mainly deal severe psychiatric problems,they don't talk to you much,only talk to you when prescribe you meds....thanks again for listening to me on it.oh.

i am sorry,perna,you didn't take the fact into account,i have been discouraged by my mom on many things.you guys didn't ask how the two things are related,i can tell you.in general sense,i behave really good,i make no troubles,i help on some housework,ect,as i am an adult now,i should have some money to relax.but on concrete matters,everyday things,which have to involve others,she acts on her inner principles,which are after power and status kind of things and face saving,as i am weak and different,she's not on my side.

I was not talking about your mother at all, just you. Your mother gives you a little money and you want to explore/develop a hobby so take the money you are given and do that with that money. Go to the free library and learn about things that interest you and think of a way to develop an interest further. What interests you does not take approval from your mother or anyone else and if she gives you 300 yuan, work with that any maybe that will teach you how to get more from her or other sources.

Hello, Cusack10! Is there some skill or art you could take up and master that would enhance your social status?

lack of support on vast range is the core.discouraged on almost every little thing is not good.for example,if i go out for some activity,i must keep it a secret to her,or i got put down.she's not reasonable at me as i am alone...even when i do something at her place,like making a phone call,reading some papers from outside,writing something,she want a control on me.it has been damn hard and painful that i got the money for her not long before because i touched her conscience.

cusack10 is there any chance on doing volunteer work with the local mental health services? for example, a support group for others with mental health issues? I'm not sure how the local authorities accept something like that. People with common issues-societal stigma related to mental health issues bonding together to form an community of support.

oh,put down again by my mom at lunch time.i am not clear now,for the past 3 hours i couldn't take a sleep with so many distresses or stresses in my mind when i got to my place.so i reply you now with a headache.

i think there're some activities organised by the only mental hospital here and the residence community commitee,but all have to be reported to my family. i really don't know why my family are so distrustful to their own kid.when she knows what activity i am in,she just keep warning me as i got home for meals,put pressure based on nonsense,like you should be nice to people,or you got what bad result,not doing this,or you got what,doing that,or you got what.even when the peers and i say everything is going well,she just keep putting you down at home.if you don't listen to her,she just got shouted up and forced on you.eventually the whole thing is ruined and has to be aborted because i got no rest at home.

so whatever activity i am going to attend,i must keep it a secret to her.(back from the sleep on 2 anti anxiety pills,still within time for editing.)

reply me,pls?

thank you all for the wonderful advices.i think the point of my problem is mainly that i have been always discouraged in seeking help by my family.i have to do it alone and secretly....i don't know what else i should say,thank you.

i don't think i said something wrong about my situ,i just need someone's help on concrete matters,to lead me back on track.the ideas are always good,but you know,there are many concrete little things needed to be taken care of along the way,or you just got frustrated another time.too many of them can also knock you out.

Well cusack I can say I am not a real people person in real life myself been scared of people but by getting out and doing kareoke and playing pool an stuff like that it has helped me to learn to be able to be around people not real good at socializing yet but am working on it. When alone I like to write Poetry and that is my way of expressing my emotions and feeling just through writing I also like to do art and it is relaxing just try different thing's and see what works for you best of luck and many Hugz to you my friend.

Lock picking, try it when you're alone, just buy some different locks to try out, takes a while to get the hang of it though.

can anyone comment on the fact that i've been discouraged by my family in seeking help,which i emphasized a couple of time up above?anyone?

If you want help you have to seek help. Your family may/may not have and voice their opinions on the subject. Take what you have, what allowance/little bit of money your mother gives you and your address and own inclinations and go do whatever it is you want to do. Pick something small and work to something bigger; it takes 3-6 months for a rice plant to reach maturity.

If you are afraid to see help directly, seek it indirectly; volunteer for a agency or group in your area, join groups like this one online, take a school course and talk to others in the helping professions. Nothing can happen just thinking about it or being unhappy that your family does not support you. It is your life, you have to support yourself.