I feel like a failure

I went into today for therapy to the substitute therapist I have while mine is on vacation. Well she's also the on call therapist I talk to the most since she's on call twice a week. Anyway she asked me what I was going to do if I got in crisis. I take that to mean she's tired of hearing from me and doesn't care whether I live or die. I told her I didn't know and said well you found your journal so you can journal. Don't get me wrong I only call the emergency line when its either call or do something I might regret. Last week was a rough week and they heard from me a lot. She told me that I had to make a plan for how to survive the week. I don't know in fact I'm having a hard time deciding how I'm going to survive the next 5 minutes let alone a week. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Janniebug

Don't Blame me I just do what the Voices Tell me to do

oh janniebug right now I can understand excataly how you feel..
when a doctor tells you to journal, I think they mean that in a good way, writing down our feelings as we see them, in our minds eyes is the best way to get them out of our head and on to paper so we do not do anything like you say.

And once you do that, maybe you can move on to something else.. Try something differnt Go for walk in a nice park if you have on in your city, or walk the malls, to just look at differnt things.
Read a good book that you have been wanting to read check it out from the library, I have did that over the past two weeks, and it has helped a little. I still have fallen off my wagon persay, but I am working on not doing that anymore

We all have to find differnt ways to cope.. RIght???
Writte it on here if it helps..
others will respond, if they think they can helpyou just like I am doing now


<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

Jannie, sometimes when people offer us some advice or try to help us in some way, it sounds as if they don't care, but that's far from the truth most of the time. The way I see it, it's like when a mother is trying to teach her toddler how to stand on his own or to take a step or two. She will hold her baby's hand for a while but soon, she starts letting go so the child can get his own bearings and learn to stand without help. After all, isn't that what we're all trying to learn here, to stand on our own?

Just offering a different perspective. I hope it helps.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Hi Jannie

When the sub said that maybe she was just checking to see that you had a plan in place, since your main T is on vacation... as opposed to suffering until she gets back.

She maybe just wanted to be sure you were thinking constructively on how to handle things while your T is away, journaling is a good idea, you could call the sub if you needed to, as long as you plan on doing something.

It might have been a poor choice of words on her part... Unfortunately when we are depressed our minds always pick the most negative interpretation of things as "truth."

In addition to journaling you can also come here for some extra support until your T gets back. We're always here for you.

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--http://www.idexter.com

J.BUG,
I too am struggling with these decisions that you struggle with; you're in good company here. As far as suggestions: for me, I have to make the decision that I WILL survive and have to find a reason (even if it's only one) to look forward to tomorrow. For me, I think part of it is to prove that I CAN make it.
Sometimes it's a decision that I have to make daily, sometimes even more often than that.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Hope 4 Hope,
Jon

Part of a therapist's job is to help you to learn to handle your crises without them. It doesn't mean that you have to go without them now, or that they don't want to help you, just that developing that skill is a step towards being stronger and more healthy, which is one of the end results it would be desirable to get from therapy. Her suggestion to journal is an idea to help you towards that goal. Making a plan to get through the week, and the next 5 minutes, sounds like a good idea to me. Journaling is one idea, and coming here is another one. Both have to do with writing down what you are experiencing, with the possibility of sharing it with someone who can give you some support. Can you think of any other ideas along that line? How about distractions, like things you can do - crafts or something?, getting out and doing something? It's not that she doesn't care or doesn't want you to call, but more that it might help you more to develop your social contacts and build strategies for soothing yourself.

Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>

Well its official.....they are tired of hearing from me. I went to go see my GP for my toe today and after seeing my cuts he sent me back to my clinic. I was told that if I call the crisis line again they will call 911. That made me start to cry because where I live they send out the cavalry. I sure don't want that so now I can't call the hotline anymore. The therapist I am seeing while mine is gone is going to call me everyday until mine gets back so I guess that helps but it hurts to know that when I get bad at night my only resource is now been taken away from me. So its official I am a failure.

Don't Blame me I just do what the Voices Tell me to do

Can you think of any other possible interpretations of what has happened other than them being tired of hearing from you?

Even if they feel that you are reaching the limit of the calls they accept from one person during a particular time scale, perhaps they are trying to help you to learn some self-soothing skills by putting a limit on your calls. You can always post here, we are here for you ...

I am not quite clear why what has happened makes you "officially" a failure. But then I am easily confuzzled ...

((((((((((((Janniebug))))))))))))

Take care,
Fuzzy