50 Minutes is Not Enough

How in the world is it possible to make quick headway with only 50 minutes a week with T? I would love 150 minutes (3x per week) at least but that would cost me $920.00 per month. My goodness!!! O.k., 2x per week then - $640.00 = YIKE! Not possible... Already I pay $320.00 per month and T is worth it, no doubt, but how can I afford this for much longer?

I need to ask T how to speed up the process. Maybe specific homework like so many of you have.

Suratji, are you sure that you're in good therapy? Like the best you can get right now?

Yes, I like my T a lot and I've been at this for only 3 months. I like that I've been able to self-disclose some really painful parts of my life and that kind of trust is there.

I've been thinking about doing a group of some sort. Maybe if you and T can find one together it could be part of what you're doing together and still be more cost effective?

I agree 50 minutes is not enough. I have been seeing my T twice a week for the past few weeks because it's not enough.

Speed up therapy? Not sure if it is a good idea.
It takes time.
BTW I go twice a week for nearly four years now (around 25 000...oh I shoudnt have counted it) Still I think is money well spent.

I hated 50 minute sessions and always walked out feeling frustrated. When my new T offered me 90 minutes, I was thrilled. It's so much better! Maybe you could have longer sessions every 2 weeks instead. But if you just need more sessions, I don't know what you could do. Did you ask your T what she thinks? I know I wanted to speed up the process too, but therapy doesn't work that way, unfortunately. It's been over a year and I've worked very hard, but it just takes time.

My T is great and always works me in when I ask for an extra session. I've asked about 4 times in the past 3 months. Also, I've requested a double session twice. Her schedule can always accommodate last minute requests by me. Still expensive though

LOL, I could talk to my T for 8 hours straight

I used to think 50 minutes was more than enough. By 50 minutes, I was totally drained. Now, we're really getting in to some tough issues for me and it's not nearly long enough. Partly because I tend to sit in silence for quite a while and partly because I want to keep talking and working through things.

I told my T last week that I could easily sit in her office for another hour. I'd love to be able to just spend an entire day with her...some of it talking through issues, some of it just sitting with her and feeling the peace and acceptance.

If my T offered, I'd happily take her up on 90 minute sessions, but I'm not sure I could afford it!!! Heck, I'd like to do twice a week but can't really afford that either. So, I make do with journaling, and emailing her kinda urgent stuff and calling for really urgent stuff.

I am always drained by the end of the session, mentally exhausted. But at my session yesterday I was getting into some heavy stuff, never thought I would be able to share with anyone. But at that point we were running out of time. I wished we had more time... 90 minutes is a good idea

I get a full hour, but sometimes wonder if 90 minutes would help me get to my feelings more.....sometimes I am getting close to a place of tears when it's the end of the hour! I don't think T does that though, just 45 and 60 minutes. I could always ask! Maybe if I have nerve tomorrow, I will......
I think my copay would still be the same for more minutes....the copay seems to be the same whatever dr. visit I have had, whatever length it is. Could ask that too!

(((((((((((Suratji)))))))))))))

I really, truly believe that healing has it's own timetable. Even when we are not with T, we are processing, thinking, learning, growing. T told me once that most of the work of therapy happens between sessions, and that feels true to me. Often, I will see T, leave feeling all confused and awful, and start to come to some insight and understanding over the next few days. As much as I *think* I would like to see T every day, I think that it might actually slow things down in the end (weirdly enough) because my brain would never have time to process and "catch up".

Even now, on break, with NO T appointments, phone calls, e-mails...I am still processing so much, still working really hard.

Having said all of that, I have always seen T twice a week. For me, it was more of a safety thing...I couldn't hold on to the connection well enough to do any work when it was once a week (I was always just working to reconnect) and I had a stupid amount of trauma stuff to work through. So, I needed to feel safe with T, and I needed to feel safe enough between sessions to allow myself to talk about the things I needed to talk about. I don't know if seeing T twice a week sped up the process, but it definitely made the process possible.

Healing takes time. Sometimes a long time. It's hard not to feel impatient, but it sounds like you are working hard and making huge strides. And that's something to be very proud of

My copay only covers a one hour therapy session...so when I see him for 90 minutes, I pay the copay plus 1/2 of his (reduced) fee. Definitely worth checking into, though!

going inpatient might speed up the process.

quite true. Last year I changed from every 3-4 wks to weekly, for just a couple of months, and it was surprisingly hard to regear. What would I talk about? Not enough time had gone by for anything to happen (wrong) or more, I haven't had time hardly to think about the last time, and now it's time again. And it's happening again this year. I think you do need time to process.

I don't prefer the longer sessions except the couple of times where I knew I needed extra time. I also get so exhausted that I have to go home and take a nap. I prefer 2 sessions per week. Some processing between is helpful

Yeah, I can see the wisdom of your words. It's just that I have so much to say and so much bubbling up that it will take months to get through all of it. And I think that once I'm done telling my 'whole' story, then I'll be done.

For me, the ending of the story was actually the beginning of a different level of healing. Telling the story was like taking off the first few layers of the onion...and then after the story we worked (and are still working) a lot on how the "story" affected me, and how it made me who I am, both good and bad. There was (and is) a lot of work on accepting myself and accepting my history. A lot of work on discovering who I am, and who i want to be.

We are wonderfully complex

I know the feeling, Suratji. There's always so much left to say and so many things that happen between sessions. I often think I want to speed the whole up as much as possible. Like people have already said, it's also important to make the best out of the process and give yourself some time. Sending good vibes your way.

I agree that the "theraputic hour" aka 50 minute sessions are not enough time. My current therapist only really offers this and sometimes I leave feeling so upset because the time went so quickly that it felt more like 5 minutes and then another long weeks wait. She doesnt offer longer sessions or two a week. although she did fit me in for an extra session twice...however now thats not even an option as shes got so much on at the moment. I do adore my T though but i hate the 50 minute session thing - its nowhere near enough!

T herself remarked this week that we needed more time.
me: I keep waiting for you to offer 90 minutes.
T: I don't know how to work that out.
me: Simple (although nothing is ever simple, is it) - you find another client who needs 90 minutes, and you schedule us one after the other. Some people just need more time to wade out into the deep water, y'know?

She didn't say anything (she was writing up a receipt) but maybe the seed was planted this time, guess I will just wait & see.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around an idea that I hadn't really grasped before. I think I have thought that T would solve my problems and if I spent enough time with T, she would make it all better.

I think I realize now in an 'almost' stunning clarity, that I have to do the work and I just go to T to get some guidance occasionally. I don't like that because I want it to be like going to the doctor to 'get' the cure.

So, I guess, with that vision, 50 minutes is plenty of time. I can't help but continue to rebel. (Temper tantrum anyone?)

I think you are very right here - we do have to do the work. I think though when we really accept that its not the therapist's responsibility it reduces anger that people get towards their therapist for them not doing what they want all the time (if that makes sense?).

I still dont think 50minutes is enough though for me anyway. xxx

I agree but there's not much I can do about that. I'm thinking now that I should ask T how to maximize the benefit of the 50 minutes. I don't want to squander that time.