Text T how I feel...

I am glad you did that! I hope he calls back and you can talk to him and maybe get some stuff sorted and straightened out.
I am thinking of you lots and hoping things work out for you.

And yeah your threads get lots of views!

And also I meant to say I am sorry about your mom too and hope for the best for her treatment in fighting her condition.....

I have to say that this is one of the most obnoxious things I've ever read.

I grew up with abuse, and I know that I have let people in my adult life treat me in a way I shouldn't be treated. Even people who are in my circle of friends. I KNOW how hard it is to know what the "right" reaction is. I would think "gee, M is being SO mean, but maybe I'm just overreacting" or whatever. Slowly, slowly, slowly through therapy, I'm learning how people are supposed to be treated and I don't question myself in the same way anymore. I can stand up for myself, or distance myself, things I didn't know how to do before. How can you learn this when you are being talked to like she is talking to you? I learned by watching MY THERAPIST and EXPERIENCING the treatment he believes I deserve. And now it's kind of ingrained. I wish I could have learned it earlier in life, because it would have saved me a lot of pain, and I know I still have a long way to go, but it's getting easier to recognize. I can tell you that SHE is not keeping good boundaries, at ALL, by dumping her negative, ugly feelings on you like that, all wrapped up in blaming and shaming.

I hope you talk to the other psych soon to get some perspective. I REALLY get that it's hard to trust your instincts and pull away from this kind of relationship...especially with all of the intermittent rewards (gifts! phone calls! exercise buddy!), but I hate to see anyone be treated in such a way.

I hope this isn't worded too strongly. I don't usually have/express such strong feelings about someone else's therapy, because I'm not *there*, but if she is saying the things that you are writing here, it is really completely unacceptable behavior from a FRIEND, let alone a therapist. Ack!

I'm sorry about your mom, cats. I do hope you get the loving, boundaried support that you need.

Wow-no medicine for hearing voices? Sounds very conservative. You must be very strong because I would crumble if T talked to me that way.

Thanks, me too!

I can't believe that you feel protective of ME. Why is that? And how did I establish a voice in your head? Maybe that means I post on here too much? Please feel free to come with me and stop on my T's foot, or slash her tires for me.

Thanks Poetgirl, I hope that I hear from him soon...

Thanks so much Treehouse. Your posts and replies are always so wise and well thought out. It is so true about the intermittent rewarda!! Damn you T!! I don't want to go see her tomorrow...

Yea, that's one way of putting it.....I hate it.

Thanks Dizgirl, I sent him an email too just incase he doesn't get my message that I left on his cell...

So today is the first day that I have not text T, called T, have had her text me or call me in months. I don't like it. I feel abandoned, rejected and pathetic.

I'd be glad to join in the foot stomping too!! The more the merrier, right?

Yes!! please make her feet all black and blue to represent the emotional turmoil going on inside me now!! Thanks!

Good

Thanks Flooded. I sent him an email too just incase he doesn't get the message I left on his voicemail.

The other thing that she said that bothered me was when she said "Any other therapist would have lost there patience with you and had it up to here with you. You are lucky that I haven't done that to you."

Ouch.

I said "Well, ------- didn't get impatient with me and didn't get mad at me."
She said "Well did you know that he thought that you were Bipolar?"
I said "No"
She said "He referred you to me because he thought that you were Bipolar, needed meds, and was lost with what to do with you. Why did you think he referred you to me?"
I said "He thought that I was either Bipolar or had Borderline Personality Disorder and that I needed meds."
She said "Well, you can always go back to him if you want..."
I said "Why would you say that?"
She said "Well you said he didn't lose his patience with you or get mad at you."

Thanks T, are you trying to get rid of me and just aren't sure how to do it? You told me that when you have a patient that you don't want to see anymore you try to push them away from you and make them not want to see you anymore. Is this what you are trying to do with me?

It hurts.

And for the record, I DO have friends.

Why do I let her get to me so much??

WTF?? We are here for you, Cats. I must say that your T who is unknown to me is very high on my isht list!! This is amazing! Wow! Unbelievable! I am not one to encourage someone to leave a T, but wow! You are very strong and brave, Cats. I hope you find the best solution to these issues your having with therapy. Therapy should only rattle us because it forces us to deal with our demons, not because the T is an *****. You deserve a warm, caring, and supportive T that helps you heal, not worsen your suffering. Your T may have been that way in the past, and if you continue seeing her, I pray she returns to her old self.

I am so annoyed for you, and I feel your pain. She deserves far more than a foot stomping or slashing of the tires. She is bullying someone in a less powerful position, and I so wish there were someone at her level to put her in her place. I hope your old T is able to do that, or is able to give you the tools to communicate how you feel and what you expect and need from a T. I hope, since you are very attached to your T, that she can meet your expectations and needs, rather than delay your healing or, worse, hurt you.

T appointment tomorrow. Pocket riders welcome as always!!

You love and trust her. She has been there for you for 8 years. She is very much an integral part of your life. Of course, whenever issues arise, it will affect you as it would with any other significant relationship in your life. What you are feeling is expected and normal. Be kind to yourself. I am impressed with the strength you have shown to get through this. I really hope your old T helps you come to a solution.

Thank you so much Crazycanbegood. This has been an especially tough time for me and it is hard to stay strong. Usually when she is going away the borderline tendencies in me start coming out because I don't want her abandoning me when she goes for her holiday. Right now I don't even care that she is going away. I am welcoming the break. That is now though, I don't kow how long it will lsst. I see her tomorrow and then she leaves on Friday for 2 weeks. It will be interesting to say the least...

That is so very kind of you to say that. Do I really love her and trust her?? At one time I never would have thought of questioning that but right now...I don't know. Right now I am paranoid that she is trying to get rid of me by making me upset and not wanting to see her. She told me that is what she does when she has a patient that she doesn't want to see anymore. She said it is easier for her to piss them off then for her to tell them that she doesn't want to work with them for whatever reason. Do you think this is what she is trying to do with me??

Ok, so this is my 3,000 post! I am now officially a Grand Magnate. Wow.

I don't know, Cats. I so wish that her behavior is due to having some personal issues and forgetting momentarily how to be a T. I hope her vacation revitalizes her. I am shocked that she would use this technique to get rid of patients, rather than being honest, respectful, and direct with her patients. I hope I am not being overly naive in thinking that your T would not want to end an 8 year long relationship this way, that she too loves and cares for you too much to let it end this way, if that is her desire. If you think this is what she is doing, how do you feel about asking her directly?

Also, did something occur in your relationship immediately preceding T's change in behavior?

This is almost the exact same thing that happened with my ex t.

The sooner you dump her, the sooner you can move forward from this sad excuse for a t.