Is there something you'd like to tell your therapist but you can't?

(((((((rainbow rose)))))))

For me not really right now. Everything's kind of... good.

yes, this........but actually, I have asked, can I really be helped, can you still help me? and she has said, yes.
she has said, I believe in you, I believe you can do this, I believe you can be a good mom........it's a matter of me being able to believe it myself, which i don't. Maybe that is something I want to tell her, will you keep seeing me even if it takes me a loooooooooooooonnnnnnngggggg time to believe that and my progress out of this bad place is very slow???!!

Dear T,

It frustrates the heck out of me that you dismiss certain things that I need to discuss. It frustrates the heck out of me that no matter what I say and no matter what I do or how I act, you just are able to sit there with the same expression. I know this is probably part of your training. You told me that you have issues with control, but you didn't elaborate on why you were telling me this and what it meant in regards to my therapy. I wish you wouldn't be such a blank screen, but I know that is also part of how you do things. I just want you for once to get firm when I tell you I didn't eat or when I just sit there not saying much. I honestly don't know how you can be so nice to me all the time. I would be frustrated with me if I were the therapist, But I also know that unconditional positive regard is part of your training. I'm frustrated with me. I'm frustrated with you. I'm frustrated with this therapy process. I wish you would switch it up. Try something different. But you have your way. I just don't know where I am with our therapy right now. And I wish you could provide a straight answer on how this is going to make my life better when I've never felt worse. Regards, TTGB

Dear T,

I wish you'd talk about your husband. I know I'd get jealous but I hate that he's such a mystery. But I know why you don't tell me too much; it always triggers me. If I start to think about you and your H in bed, I have to quick think of something else. I don't want sex with you but I get excited by you. I think you know that already, though.

You told me about that medical procedure and I feel weird imagining it.
I asked you once about your being so thin. Sometimes it really bothers me and I worry about you.

I want you to sit next to me, or even hold me, when I talk about the growing up stuff. I know you won't, though. I want to say all the words without blushing. I want to cry with you afterwards.

I don't know if I believe in EMDR the way you do. I think you trust it a little too much.

I found something online and I treasure the quote by your relative who thinks you have outstanding qualities. I want to tell you I read that and that I agree.

Dear T: there is so much I'd like to tell you, But I can not let my guard down enough to let anyone know that I am vulnerable. So after 3 years of seeing you I still can't trust you or anyone else.

Dear T,
What do you know about me that I do not know?

Dr T,

I love it that you are extremely professional and that I've only ever heard you mention your kids names once on the two years I've been seeing you. You are light years ahead of the other mole I saw, who lied to my husband about me and had him thinking I was a total nutjob who stalked her and invited myself to her house etc. It is very refreshing, however, I am still on guard, my walls are highly unlikely to come down much further and I still HATE that I have to see you weekly in a tiny room without windows. Don't get me wrong, I do genuinely like you so why can't we just be friends?

F

Dear T -

When you wear short-sleeved shirts to our sessions, I spend half the time trying to avoid staring at your sexy forearms. I seriously had no idea that forearms could be so incredibly distracting and attractive.

You once wore a mod turquoise and brown long-sleeved shirt with matching brown pants. It was a totally weird outfit, and it would be great if you could wear it for every.single.session so I don't fall madly in love with you. I know it's hot in your office, but please get over it and wear sleeves.

Thanks.

I absolutely loved both of these comments! Thanks Squiggle for starting this thread and thanks to everyone else for posting T letters that make me think "what? I'm not the only one?" It's a nice feeling!

Though, wintergirl, it was my previous T who would wear outfits that drew attention to her, well, attractive qualities. Let's just say no one has that T beat on the number of see-thru blouses a woman can own. One day she wore a loose, hideous orange shirt and I thought to myself: "Please wear that EVERY session! It would really help! Love, Scorpio." With my current T, I too wish she would cover up her forearms... but for a different reason. I love my T and I love getting hugs from my T, but looking at her bare forearms scares me just a little becasue they're sooo muscular. I'm talking marathon woman. I'm convinced she has dumbells in her office that she secretly lifts between sessions. lol.

TRIGGER WARNING

Ok, here goes.... T I wanted to tell you for a long time now. But I felt pressured by my last partner and I did some things sexually that I didn't want to do/ My ex took me to a scary place and did scary things. She was violent I am ashamed and worried that that is who I am. This sexual weirdo I just wanted her to love me, no matter what. I did everything she wanted to try and keep her. But I couldn't in the end.I am ashamed and scared that people will find out, that my current partner will leave me because of it if she ever finds out.

Dear Therapist,

I had a dream the other night that I was sitting on your couch and I got really emotional. I bowed my head and began to sob. To my surprise, you came over and hugged me! Not just for a second, but you really gave me a genuine hug that lasted a minute or so. That felt really nice to me. It made me feel like you really had emotions and felt my pain/hurt.

I wish that you would surprise me like that sometime. I would like that very much.

Squiggle

Dear T,

Hi again. Just wanted to tell you that I love you so much and that you should adopt me. Also, I like bacon for breakfast and soft pillows.

See you soon,
Crazy

I second this as well.

Dear T

You may as well just let me move in with you. Is it ok if I bring my cats as well? Thanks for this.

Cats.

Dear T -

You hurt me. You shouldn't be allowed to do that!

Dear T,

What do you really think of me? Do you see how grotesque and ugly I am? Do you hate me as much as I hate myself? I hate that you don't know the truth.

Wickid

Yes! My T is a male, but he's a runner as well (hence the amazing forearms). A therapist who wears see-thru blouses? What is she thinking??

Dear Therapist,

Stop trying to convince me that I am okay just the way I am. You know that I am not! I am definitely different. I am bipolar and people do not understand how I can be up one day and down the next. I wish that you could live a week in my bipolar mind! I don't think like 'normal' people do. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?

BTW~I love your hair! You are gorgeous and I have no idea why I cannot look at you during our sessions. I mean, who wouldn't want to look at you? You are beautiful! Boy was I lucky to find someone who is as fabulous as you are and looks like a million bucks no matter what she wears!

Squiggle

Squiggs- Not too long ago I invited my T to live in my mind and she looked me and said, " No offense, but I really wouldn't want to do that!" LOL! I think they know just how bad it really can get. They may not personally experience it, but they sure as heck SEE what it does to us- and I think it just kills them inside- at least I know it does for my T.

Dear T,
I need you to be more pushy,if you ask if anything else is bothering me, I'll say no. Because that's just how I am. I need to feel like I'm presenting the perfect version of myself. You know my issues, you have to ask specifically.
Dear T,
You need a better work schedule. I get that you have a life, but seriously, work more flexible hours please.

I once did an assignment to show my therapist what it 'looks like' inside me mind. I used clip art to show the madness! It had bright colors of ferris wheels, clowns, merry-go-rounds, balloons, spinning colors, etc...

Then it showed images that were only in black and white.......dark clouds, storms, a woman in a jail cell, a woman lying bed, a woman crying, etc...

I think she got the picture. MANIC ~

DEPRESSION ~

bumping because this thread is AWESOME

Right now, I wish I could tell her about my problem with ************ and how I think of her so often, especially during that. It feels so wrong, so wrong, in fact, that I used asterisks here so I could say what I needed to say without writing out the word. But it's a s***al thing in nature, and I could never never never tell her. It would ruin everything.

Love this thread idea!

Oh my gosh...right??? Seriously, my T is a babe!

...which brings this thought to mind...am I attracted to her physically? And if I am, is it wrong? I feel so confused

No, it isn't wrong. It would be inappropriate to act on those feelings physically, but simply having the feelings isn't wrong. In fact, it's common and well within the "normal" range. The very nature of the therapy relationship can be rather seductive. After all, T is someone who listens to you, supports you, cares about you, and tells you that you're interesting and fantastic just the way you are. I think it can be difficult to tell whether an attraction to T is genuinely physical (are there really that many babilicious Ts out there?!) or whether you are attracted to the way T makes you feel and THAT is what makes you feel a physical attraction. Just my 2 cents.

You are right...thanks for making sense of that

I agree. I am aware that she is physically attractive because I am human and notice this fact. But I am more attracted to how she makes me feel. It's almost as if this, combined with her appearance, make her into (in my mind) a sort of superperson because she has both emotional intellect and physical attraction at the same time. Sheesh - how shallow am I!