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#26
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So many great and interesting responses!
![]() Just picking up on what some of you have said about sitting on the floor, switching seats, sitting in different positions... It's great that you feel empowered to do this! My T has quite a small room with two chairs facing each other (there wouldn't be room to sit on the floor, I'd literally be right at her feet looking up at her, which I think would be weird!) but the set up suits me just fine. Thing is, now that I think about it, I don't know if she ever told me which chair to sit in - or if she just told me to take a seat... It *feels* like I'm sat in the right one! lol! I don't think I'd like to switch, it'd almost feel like a transfer of power, or something... I sometimes think I'd like to sit with my legs tucked under me, but it's just not that type of chair - it's comfortable, but you have to sit properly. I've always found her office/room to be a relaxed/relaxing place, but from what some of you have said about your T's rooms it's probably quite formal in comparison. |
![]() BonnieJean
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#27
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![]() BonnieJean, SilentLucidity
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#28
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#29
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I always bring a big tote bag - in it my journal, my handbag, sometimes a book i am reading & want to show T, stuff I might have written, whatever.
when things are OK, it sits on the floor by my feet. when I put it on my lap, wrap my arms around it and hold it tightly, T knows that I'm going into high defense mode. |
![]() BonnieJean
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#30
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Funny, just last night I was thinking of sitting T floor.
I feel like I need to be protected by sitting in the corner. But wouldn't this freak T out? I have never done anything like this before. I'm always very proper how and where I sit. So if I walked in and sat on the floor he is going to think something is really wrong. Then I dont know if he would sit next to me or in his chair looking down. That would feel very weird. Should I really try this?
__________________
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars Og Mandino |
#31
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This is a great thread.
I saw a therapist during my freshman year of college. I remember him telling me that I could sit anywhere I wanted. That his office was a safe place. I remember that I wanted to sit on the floor, in the corner of the room. That seemed safer, somehow. But I never, ever did that. I sat very still in my chair and tried to disappear into myself. Now that I'm in therapy again, I'm acting the same way. Sitting very, very still. Afraid to move. I hope that someday I'll be able to move around. |
![]() BonnieJean
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#32
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I sat in the corner with one of my T's. Once she realized it was going to be a pattern, that the corner was my safe spot, she brought pillows and blankets in to make it more comfortable. Unfortunately that part backfired. Part of what made it safe was feeling the hard cement bricks on my back, the hard concrete floor under my bottom and the hard, cold metal desk to my side. She was saddened by what she interpreted as my rejection of her nurturing. After I explained things we were OK.
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There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
![]() BonnieJean
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#33
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it IS a great thread. I fidget -- or else sit overly still, not much in between. My T has a couch across from a window and I stare out at that sometimes. Eye contact has been an issue with the two of us and I think he sees more eye contact as better, but I have a hard time really getting nto what I need to cover AND looking straight at him. Oh well. Seems like it's my therapy and I'll do this the way I need to....Ha!
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![]() BonnieJean
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#34
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#35
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My T has never commented on my fidgeting. He doesn't act bothered by it. There have been a couple of times I was fidgeting with certain objects on his table and he turned the conversation to them and told me what they were, their meaning to him, or showed me how to use them. These were nice conversations that drew us closer.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
#36
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All that fidgeting is from trying to contain so many feelings inside I think. I used to fidget and move like crazy everywhere in my life. Now I can sit very quietly, calmly and comfortably and I feel it is because I unloaded all of those feelings and DEFENSES.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#37
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It's the opposite for me. The fidgeting is allowing anxiety to physically manifest itself in the room. If I tried to be still when I felt anxious, that would me containing and in a way, trying to hide how I felt from T. Usually I'm comfortable letting him know if I'm anxious. He's really adept at reading body language so this is an easy way I can communicate something to him without having to speak the words.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
#38
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I guess I didn't explain myself well Sunrise. I'm saying that the anxiety is caused from years of stuffing those feelings. We can't let them all out in one session. It takes time to become aware of them and learn how to let them out. I'm not talking about trying to contain the anxious feeling. I'm talking about stuffing all sorts of feelings throughout the years.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#39
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
![]() BonnieJean
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#40
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Or maybe you aren't done unstuffing stuff Sunrise? My anxiety was caused by many things, not having good boundaries, my low self worth and finding my defenses and attending to them really made a difference. Defenses can make you anxious. Maybe some other things are causing your anxiety?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#41
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Well I did it! I sat on his floor up against the wall.
My excuse was I needed to straighten my knee out as I had surgery a few months ago, but my real reason was to feel safe. And, to kind of make a statement to him how unsafe I really felt. He didn't say a word about it, dont have a clue what he thinks. I thanked him for the use of his floor as I was leaving. He said no problem. I wonder if he will mention it ever again, or it I will do it.
__________________
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars Og Mandino |
![]() BonnieJean, ECHOES, Sannah
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#42
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#43
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Congratulations Masimo! did you like it? are you going to sit on the floor next time? t never said anything to me either, and i doubt i will ever sit on the couch again...
like being down on the floor, feel like i can't fall any further.... |
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